Walking into the wall.

Hi Barb, Wow your daughter must be busy 24/7. How does she keep up with the teens? I seem to be better with younger kids, but have no idea what to do once they learn to talk back and become so rude and obnoxious. Well my problems are minimal when I imagine what your daughter goes through. With only 1 soon to be teen, I am already feel like crap. Imagine having 2 teens, Oh gosh. I wish your daughter luck

Wow, she sure is a busy mom. I don't know how she manage. I hope I can too. It is tough raising teens these days. People always tell me the rope will snap if you are too tight, other words If I am too strict it will backfire and he will rebel and that would hurt him more. I don't know, so lost.

Here older kids are out of high school. Her oldest son is 19 1/2 and already through one year of college. Her daughter just finished high school this year,is 18 and will start college in the fall. They aren't too much trouble. The two younger ones are the only 2 years apart and fuss and fight among themselves and it gets to her. The oldest and the 3rd down are the two that don't like to do anything around home. Her daughter and the youngest do most of the stuff around the house. The two older ones work, so that's helping her some now. I noticed I said 'almost 5'......I meant to say almost '4'. She has 4 children with the 4th becoming a teen next January. If she can live through it, you'll make it. Just hold in there. She has been pretty strict on her teenagers and they know what she will allow and what she want and what the consequences are for not minding. She's a little more lenient on the oldest one because he'll be leaving one day. He's dated the same girl for over 3 years and one day they'll be married. And she's began to let up on the daughter. She's really responsible, is working now, and has taken up paying for her car. I think her problems begin when the 14 1/2 year old gets a car. She will not buy him one, but his Daddy probably will. I told her that he doesn't need one until he is out of school and on his own. But, now days, with everyone working, it's hard to not get a teenager a car. If he plays sports, he needs one and if he works,he needs one. So what do you do?

I can only hope for the best. yes she can be real funny at times. Of course she does not do it intentionally but it is quite funny the things she do. It may sound sad, because she struggles to do the same thing another child finds easily it always warms my heart when she accomplishes them. It could simply be telling us how something happened etc. But when she does, there is times we all have to guess before we get the right answer. Like the time we went to the Beach, she kept asking for "Benny". Everybody else was so annoyed with her for asking for Benny. I finally explained to them that "Benny" whom she says "MY friend, Benny" is a character from a book she read. Benny went to the beach too. My daughter was expecting to find her friend also at the beach. Of course, nobody would have known that she was expressing herself because she barely pronounced Beeny right. I however, knew what she meant because I talk to her all the time. This was a milestone because it the past she could not connect a story to real life. Now she can relate, a big improvement. While other parents may think I am doing the wrong, because they think I should be correcting her to separate fairy tale from real life. But how? My son also had a kick out of hearing who Benny is. He laughed so hard, then he asked me. "mom, was I like that too?" I answered yes, you were so cute when you talk about your imaginery friend. Somemtimes I feel my daughter lights up the room when I am down. She also helps light the room when the tension between my son and myself are building. She looks up to her brother alot, so it hurts to see that my son feels resentment towards her.

I love the beach story it was so cute. Like you said you talk to your daughter all the time and you know what is best for her. If she is not ready to separate fairytale from reality I think it is okay handling it the way you are. It sounds like she is making amazing progress and all in all I think that is all that really matters. Your son is not the only older child to have resentment for his younger sibling. There are times both my older ones resent their youngest brother. There are times when they are so good with him and others where they are so hateful and mean towards him over the most goofy things. I think that is just typical kid behavior.

Yes kids can be a real pain. But that is also the reward, that we never know. The innocence of a child and they way they make you smile. My son does not make me smile anymore because he does not do silly things, but I know that it is because I think he should not do them anymore, so it is quite unfair that he tries to do goofy things and get in trouble. But again, it is my job to keep the the laughter going. I hope I can make it through without losing my mind.

Oh yes, some are pretty funny. The things they get themselves into is quite amazing. My son once got "rat" glue trap all over his new pajamas. It was his birthday and he had a sleepover with a close friend. The next morning, they were playing hide and seek and he decided to hide in the kitchen area. He hid himself in the bottom shelf (which was infested with mice by the previous owner). And then when he got out he realized he had something stuck to him. it was too funny. I do hate it and have so much heartache when my son is sad about a rule we set up. But I guess What can I do, it is my job to raise him so I guess I have to do it even if he hates me right?