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Single Parenting Divorce - Catastrophe for Kids?  email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 94/100. nupats (1294)   ranked 85 out of 19,205 in relationships 4 years ago

Have you ruined your children's lives when you get divorced? Can Single parenting work? Children go through almost the same pain and process as the divorced parents.
Children feel as divorced as the parents, going through most of the same emotional stages over what is essentially a loss of a parent and family as it was.
Yet their support system of people greatly diminishes at a difficult time.
The custodial parent is out scratching to make ends meet financially and has less time to spend with the child.
Both parents are so tied up in their own emotional needs as a result of the divorce, they fail to assist their children through an emotionally trying experience.
The relative network of Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents, Cousins and such contact is greatly diminished as a result of the divorce.
Outside activities are diminished (such as going to camp in the summer) are reduced because of the financial pinch of divorce....how are you coping as a single parent? have you bought up your child successfully and satisfied their emotional needs? what is your opinion about single parenting? how do you keep your divorce from having an adverse affect on your children? what do you think about single parenting?

 

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tags:  kids, divorce, emotinal growth, family, finances
 
1. myLot reputation of 99/100. lilaclady (22745)   ranked 1,064 out of 19,205 in relationships   4 years ago

I do feel sorry for kids who don't have two parents in the home to love them as I did when I was growing up, I was such a scared little kid I don't think I would have coped but today I think it is a little different, still hard on the kids but more acceptable amongst their peers I think, I admire anyone who brings up children on their own, i think they must be very special people but I do know a few people who came from single parent upbringings and they seem to have turned out just fine maybe even a little more confident within themselves....


myLot reputation of 99/100. pergammano (3551)   ranked 3,240 out of 19,205 in relationships  4 years ago

My son is 27, I divorced his Father when he was 12 (just when his little hormones were kicking in!) I divorced his Father...he did not! Never, when we were in the process (and even today) did I ever speak disparaging about his Father, never spoke of him with disrespect! Always made sure that there was an open, loving line of communication with his Father, and that his Father had full access to sharing!

It was very difficult, as there was NO child support until the divorce was complete! I worked many jobs, but somehow managed to keep the two of us together as a family unit....and spent as many hours with him that I could. All is good today, he phones or e-mails me every day! It was difficult, but I am reaping the rewards of Not creating conflict for him during the time of turmoil! Thanks!


myLot reputation of 94/100. nupats (1294)   ranked 85 out of 19,205 in relationships  4 years ago

i also feel very bad for children who do not get the love of both their parents...child doe not say but somewhere they do miss the other parent..i think couples should put in sincere efforts at making things work in a marriage unless they have unresolved problems...thank you for writing in..have a nice day

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2. myLot reputation of 97/100. dragon54u (15683)   ranked 2,949 out of 19,205 in relationships   4 years ago

My divorce began when my sons were in 11th and 12th grades and it affected them deeply. After their father left abruptly, telling them straight out that we were getting a divorce and not even waiting for me to be there (I was crying in the den), we were in shock for months. It wasn't the mutual effort that many parents try to make. It was hard, but the three of us pulled together and made it through, although I would say their lives might be much better now if it hadn't happened, or if it hadn't happened so abruptly and they'd seen their dad more during the proceedings.

Couples should see if they can work it out before divorcing. Maybe some sacrifice is needed on both their parts. Other than domestic violence or emotional cruelty, I can't see any reason for most divorces if people would try counseling or even just grow up a little.


myLot reputation of 94/100. nupats (1294)   ranked 85 out of 19,205 in relationships  4 years ago

i also feel very bad for children who do not get the love of both their parents...child doe not say but somewhere they do miss the other parent..i think couples should put in sincere efforts at making things work in a marriage unless they have unresolved problems...thank you for writing in..have a nice day

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3. myLot reputation of 88/100. cupid74 (4713)   4 years ago

Hi Dear
i believe that parents who give birth to Kids must be their to raise them. People clain single parenting is easy but sure it spoil kids personality. i believe that parents must be compromising for the sake of kids ( if they have any problem). they need not to be selfish.

I dont want to think of single parenting

Take care


myLot reputation of 94/100. nupats (1294)   ranked 85 out of 19,205 in relationships  4 years ago

i also feel very bad for children who do not get the love of both their parents...child doe not say but somewhere they do miss the other parent..i think couples should put in sincere efforts at making things work in a marriage unless they have unresolved problems...thank you for writing in..have a nice day


myLot reputation of 88/100. cupid74 (4713)  4 years ago

U r very right and agree with u
some times u have to think above ur own personality

Take care

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