Help me please:(  |
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 My bf wants to. I dont. Ive been sexually abused in the past so i have troubles saying no to people, as when i said no during the abuse, it was ignored. What can i do? How do i tell him i dont want to? He knows about my past. And weve been together for 5 months. He doesnt force me, he just mentioned it, but i went a bit cold on him, so he hasnt mentioned it since. Please help me:(:(
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| 1. registrasi (90) | 3 months ago | i think you just need to talk about it with your BF,
i think if he love you he will be understand.
anyway did you believe that relationship is not base only about it? | |
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2.  gloreymay (662) | 3 months ago |  If he really loves you then he will respect your decision as no! He will wait! talk to him in a nice way that you don't want to do it and if you say no, then it will be no ok? you all have the right to refuse, he is not your husband anyway, if he will not agree with you then find someone else, you don't deserve him. You will find a man who will respect you and what you deserve!
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| 3. Ravenladyj (14938) | 3 months ago |  This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content.
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| 4. maean_19 (501) | 3 months ago |  "FACE YOUR FEAR'
You can never get over a traumatic past when you do not face it. Facing it anyway is a tough thing to do but it is just one way of a realization that you cannot erase it. Besides, you cannot escape from it forever.
Moreover, you will possibly have plans to have a family of your own, how would that be when you still think of said trauma. I know it would be hard on you my dear, but face it. Things which has been done cannot be corrected. You likewise cannot go back to the past and wish that the abuse hasn't taken place.
Perhaps, the only advise I can tell you is try to approach a counselor or make a confession. You are the victim and you want to be healed.
Even though, you may learn to say no, but instances may come that the guy whom you love and loves you might be impatient in always understanding you. What about his sexual needs? I am not only talking or speaking about your current bf, rather I am considering also your future husband.
Step by step, give yourself a healing.
Good Luck!
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| Ravenladyj (14938) | 3 months ago | Not to mention the fact that this is just a kid (no offence Kelly)...she's only a teenager ya know and a virgin...those two factors on top of the abuse trumps any guys sexual needs.. | |
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5.  decimus785 (1186) | 3 months ago |  well,he should respect you.if he already know about your past,than you should tell him to wait and have some patience.i don't what you think.i don't know if you want to have sexual relationship with him in the future.if your thinking of have sexual relationship with him in the future,atleast tell him that you do think of doing it,but not now,because it's too early in this stage of the relationship.Maybe he's the only one that could wait a long time.
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6.  heart4u (360) | 3 months ago |  try to talk to your boyfriend tell him your not yet ready then day by day time by time try to disclose every part of what happen to you in the past im sure he will understand it or we might not know if he leArn bout it he would help you overcome it or do something to somehow lessen the fear you have its alright dear i know your boyfriend can understand what where you going through
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| 7. sau2188 (495) | 3 months ago |  I think you must have it. Having it will let you overlap his feelings over your bad memories. Just let him do it once. If hes a nice guy and caring his love will overlap all your bads. Trust me:) you;r stopping yourself and letting the bad memory still capture you inside them. Let him get them off your life and put his love into your life make it lovely. If he knows about it and still he wants to let him, If you trust on him then let him if the reason is only the past and not him then just forget it and let him do what he wants, BUT with love and care only.
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| 8. psychotaz (386) | 3 months ago |  i think you need to tell him your story and let him know how you feel he should understand that you are just not ready yet
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| 9. sashashimp (106) | 3 months ago | This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content. | |
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10.  barrudaki (953) | 3 months ago |  This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content.
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