Bullying in School?
@chameleonsdream (1230)
United States
September 4, 2008 1:27pm CST
Today, my 15 year old son left school early to come home for the second day in a row because of other kids making fun of him at school. They constantly talk about him as he walks by just loud enough for him to hear their comments. The last couple of days, other students have sprayed him with deodorant body sprays at lunch and in the hallways, and someone wrote a note on the board in one classroom about showering and using deodorant. This has all carried over from last year when he had a medical problem that caused a strong body odor he couldn't control.
The school says that they "won't tolerate" that sort of hazing and bullying, but they've never been successful in dealing with bullying issues before. Have you had to deal with your kids being targeted by bullies, or made fun of by the whole class before? Did you or the school find a way to deal with it successfully?
1 person likes this
2 responses
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
6 Sep 08
My oldest daughter badly needed braces that I could not afford and also had an extreme case of acne...of course I could not afford proffessional help for that either. To top that off she battled with her weight. It was horrible and heartbreaking. There is really nothing you or the school can do to stop the cruelty of others. The most you can do is to be there and help build their esteem...they are worth so much more than their looks. you'll feel as if you are getting no where at all. My daughter was almost 18 when I finally got her braces on and in her early 20s when her acne cleared. She is georgeous now! She is successful in her job and married with 2 children...just bought a home. I could never have convinced her that this was in her future a few years back. Thing is ...she got her braces off after meeting her husband and her acne cleared AFTER meeting him.She is stronger and has more substance to her personality becuz of her struggles. Her self worth was not based upon looks...she had to find something else...she did. Now she is physically beautiful and it doesn't really seem to matter. She found a deeper happiness.
@chameleonsdream (1230)
• United States
6 Sep 08
Thanks for the encouragement, sid. It's nice to hear a success story like that. The school principal and guidance counselor have both told me how impressed they are with his resilience and how well he's dealing with this, but I refuse to subject him to another year of this when the school is willing to work with me to eliminate it. At this point, if they can't handle it with scheduling changes (which I doubt will work), they are willing to work with me to transfer him to another school where his past problems won't be there to haunt him.
1 person likes this
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
7 Sep 08
I don't really blame you. It is so hard for kids to go thru this sort of thing and there really should be no need. Teaching kids acceptance and how to be kind to others should begin at a very young age and i really think it should be something the schools teach.
@jonesy123 (3948)
• United States
4 Sep 08
Boy, this is a tough one. What your son needs to do will be very hard for him but he will be better for it. The school will have to hold an assembly in which your son should explain the medical condition and why it caused the body odor even though he probably was cleaner than they were in his hygiene habits. He should also explain that the issue has past now. This message should be reinforced by the school with some explanations as to why bullying is bad and will not be tolerated by the school.
Now that might not completely take care of the bullying but greatly reduce it to the point where the people doing the bullying will just get looks from others who don't approve of it. If your son's school doesn't cooperate, find out what the school districts and state regulations are on bullying and make sure the school enforces it. If nothing will be done about it, you son's only chance at a good school life will be to switch schools because obviously this one is not working out.
@chameleonsdream (1230)
• United States
4 Sep 08
Thanks for the suggestion, jonesy. That's an approach I've seen work very well in younger classrooms, but I'm not so sure it would work as well with sophomores in high school. I'm afraid that it will just trigger a different kind of bullying.
The school is more responsive this year than last, at least. Last year, the whole focus what my son could do so he didn't smell so bad instead of how the school should deal with "mean kids". The typical response I got then was "kids are going to be like this". This year, I have a promise that teachers will watch for bullying behaviors (they're calling it hazing this year - new buzzword!) and step in to stop it when it happens.
If that doesn't work, I've already told the school that I will go to the school department about the problem. Hopefully, that won't be necessary.
