separated but still married?

I can say from personal experience, it isn't always a choice. My ex and I separated in August of 2003, our divorce was finalized in Aug of 2007...the funny part is we were married in Aug of 2001...we were actually separated longer than together during our marriage. But it wasn't a choice. I moved a few times, and laws are such that you have to be a resident of the county for 6 months before starting the process. So two times it got thrown out due to moving. The last time it was thrown out was because he signed the papers on a SUnday, and apparently that is not legal...whatever. But then I got it all started again, and had to postpone for 6 months while I relocated the child support case, which was a crock in its self. But anyway....the system was at fault, if I'd had it my way, we woulda been divorced before I even left him in 2003!!!

Hi dawn, just stumbled across this old discussion that I missed. I was separated for a little over 3 years before getting a divorce....maybe even longer. Why? Because I was raising 3 children on my own and my ex refused to get a divorce and I could not afford it. I did finally get on my feet and get the divorce done. For me it was financial issues.

I have heard of this and even where the other is involved with someone else. I think that it has to do with the expense of the divorce and that some alimony or child support might also need to be paid afterwards. My dad was separated for a while but then he eventually got the divorce.

My MIL and FIL lived like that for over 10 years. They even lived in different states. Now they are back together. I guess neither wanted to really draw the final line. Although when we inquired in the earlier to mid stages of the separation they always said it was too expensive and they both did not have the money. It was true that they both were poor but I'm sure the money could be found somehow if the divorce would be amicable. I strongly believe it's convenience and not wanting to completely go apart. Some religious people also don't want to take that final step. I don't think I could live in a state of suspension like that. Looks like others can.

My brother and his wife have that relationship. He lives in Florida and she lives in Alabama. I don't know why they don't go ahead and divorce. Every time he goes to Alabama, he visits her but doesn't spend the night. I think they are still married because neither of them can afford to pay for the divorce.