When you want to, but for some reason just can't

ok, I do know that it is a practicing type thing. You need to always be aware of what you are saying on purpose if you want to change this. Go out of your way to say positive things to people. Give them compliments. They might not let you know they appreciate it cuz they may feel insecure. Buuut. inside you just really made a person really feel good about themselves. They will really appreciate it and make sure you really mean it when you do this. I was raised with aunts and uncles and my mom and dad who were all very sarcastic joking type people. I noticed I was doing the same thing. I practiced this , what I told you for a couple years and now I am always nice to people without sarcasm. It becomes so easy after time. It's not an over night thing, but it can be just by practicing this. I still can't say I love you to my husband 1st. I can say it now after he says it. I had a hard time telling my children I loved them but now I just do it. Who cares. You have to think to yourself,,,, Is it a negative thing I am saying or a totally positive thing. Well I love you is completely positive and you just can't go wrong. You know he WANTS to hear it, so just force yourself and you'll see how easy it becomes with practice. I'm not kidding and you will really feel so good inside you'll see. Try it please? Carrie

Although I'm not completely like you, I don't joke or be sarcastic to anybody. I can say "Good job", "Nice dress". "Thank you... I am so grateful" etc. etc. to strangers, I am embarrassed to talk about how much someone or something someone does means to me. Although I might just love them for it, all I can say is "thank you". Even to friends, I am embarrassed to say how much I miss them, although I miss them each and every day!! Even if the other person says it, I am too embarrassed to say "Me Too". Why I feel embarrassed about loving a person, I don't know. I don't have any answers to fix this problem, because I have the same problem, but maybe you can show your love to your husband with some gifts or something if you can't say it out. Sometimes a card or a little gift has a perfect something written on it that we would like to say to our loved ones and that might be the answer. While giving it you can say "maybe I am not too open about this, but I would like to tell you how much I appreciate and love you". When you say that with a gift, whether it is a special day or not, I'm sure it will make you as well as your loved ones feel special and out of the world happy.

Based upon my own experience my guess is this may be a self esteem problem. To put yourself on the line and make yourself feel vulnerable is not acceptable. My guess is that you must have been able to do this when young but someone made you feel bad when you spoke your heart. No telling who it was or what the circumstance but as we grow we learn what is good and what is bad for us and we seldom know the real truth until much later. By standing in front of him and saying "I love you" you no doubt have the feeling, deep down, that he may make fun of you, he may make a joke of it and that would be very hard to take. Even though you logically know he wouldn't, something in side will not let you take that chance. To get past that involves taking a risk. You have to tell yourself that it will be okay. Maybe even telling him how you feel about it may make all the difference in the world. Give it a try, what do you have to lose?

Every once in awhile I have this problem when I am having anxiety. I just feel stupid for "pouring my heart out" for some reason. Other times I am perfectly fine doing it. If you are having trouble doing it face to face maybe you can try writing out your feelings for him instead?

Hard isn't it? I am the same, I am useless at all the nicey nicey stuff, and even worse at showing my hubby that I love him. Always have been, I remember when I had not long had my third son and he used to tell me he loved me, and I used to tell him that I knew he loved me and that he did not need to keep telling me anymore. Only because I could not say it back, the words would just stick in my gullet. I took a step to fixing my problem when as you know he became involved with another woman and now I know that I have to tell him I love him. But still I do not say it unless he says it to me first. I do not just have this with my hubby but also other members of my family too.

I don't have this exact problem but I do joke and say many sarcastic things when things get too serious. I always joke on serious topics and it's hard for me to stop. I am glad I married who I did and has a deep understanding of how I feel and doesn't care if I say it or not. He knows how I feel and that is all there is to it. I think I would force myself to tell him just once, and then since he understands your problem maybe it will just work itself out. One other solution is to make up a sentence that shows you care. Practice it in the mirror if you must and make sure you say it at least once that day, but try for more. Then make up another sentence for the next day. Maybe this will help.

I can understand your problem.Because i have faced some situations like when somebody saying positives about others.Its common.But you should not behave like that with your husband.You should be feel free to share anything with your life Partner. Because he is the only person with whom you can share your each and every feeling.So first you start to move freely with him and share every thing about your problem.Then may be you both can solve the problem.Good luck to you keep smiling...

I'm basicly a shy person, to sit here and type I could say it, I guess because no one is looking at me, but I too have a hard time showing affection or saying something to a person like thank you or you look nice. It was never taught to me when I was a child, so somehow it feels wrong, or I will make a fool of myself. My daughter has taught her children to say I love you when they leave a place or home or call on the phone before they hang up. When they say it to me, it is so hard to say it back. I don't understand why, I love them dearly. I guess it just wasn't bread into me and that is why.

Hey katsmeow1213! I have some difficulties on telling people what I feel too. That is why I feel like I am better on writing. I can see that even you can't say it right with words, you can tell him with the way you treat him. Trust me he knew that you love him. If you really need to tell him that and you can't you can try what I did. I sent mails to my partner just telling her how I love her. Some handwriting would give more personal touch though :) You are really nice and I believe you can make a good letter because you don't have to say anything and I think you are not going to say something sarcastic in your letter. Good luck katsmeow1213, and happy myLotting :)

I think you have a problem. I sometimes can't say I love you back at my girlfriend for some reason too. I'm also not sure the reason why but I understand it a bit. And I'm also the same as in can't tell people positive things. It's not like a can't really tell but maybe it's not really worth saying it to them. I don't know. People really thinks of me as a very timid person. And I can't blame them cause it is somehow true cause I don't speak a lot.

Love means never having to say your sorry. Did you ever tell God you love Him? If not, try tracing , and ask yourself why you love God? Its like why are you serving and show your love to your husband ,never to mention what your heart say .Were you really in love, it doesn't make sense that you can't say it. Anyway, why don't you practice it, ILOVE GOD, I LOVE JESUS, I LOVE (your husband's name). and when you are used to it, its easy to say I LOVE YOU. Though its hard for you to say, when are you going to say it, can you accept being alone. Wish and pray for it that God will give you courage to mean to your husband how you love him. Prayer is the only Hope you can achieve what you want to have. I LOVE GOD, I LOVE JESUS, I LOVE YOU HUSBAND! Go for it!