How does your family cope wityh greif?

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When a loved one passes away...how do you or your family cope with the grief and loss? I know some family's get together and talk about the loved one...others get together talk and drink...some just bottle it up inside. My dads side of the family...when someone passes on everyone gets together after the funeral and "bonds" they also talk about the person who passed on..good memories that they'll be missed...and they tend to get drunk. My moms family...does that without the drinking. However some of us in moms side of the family also..tend to crack morbid jokes or ask morbid questions. Me being one of those. When my grandpa passed away i had to ask the funeral director how they kept his mouth from hanging open (he told me crazy glue) the question was brought because of the facial expression and mouth position his face had had when i saw him right after he died. My great uncle art passed on and we found out that caskets aren't typically made over 6 feet tall (i was worried it wasn't him in there because the casket was too short he was 6'5") and that they bend the persons legs to fit them in. I know i have to be careful who i ask questions or make a morbid joke to...my dad and grandma on moms side get sooo offended...my other grandma used to participate in the jokes. It really upset my dad when i wouldn't let them leave my aunts cremated remains in my bedroom...I'm sorry but it FREAKED me out...even more it freaks me out that her kids divided her up into smaller urns and kept part of her. How do you cope?