Low Self Esteem

i've had low self esteem for a long time. i really don't know what caused it. sometimes i would feel good but then get really self conscience about myself. i wasn't overweight or had glasses as a kid. i guess my biggest thing was my front teeth are a little big and stick out a little bit. but not too many people actually commented on it, i think it bothered me more than it did other people. i haven't really fixed it because after 3 kids now i'm over weight and i have to wear glasses when i drive lol. i want to fix it and i want to get back in shape so that i can be a mom my kids are proud of.

yes, i have gone through this point in my life where i felt poor self worth. it started when i was in college. there we're so many things to blame upon on why i experienced low self esteem. it almost ruined my whole life just because of it. it started when i moved out from my parents house to study in a different location. from there was my struggle of what we call life. from being carefree, i realised that the world out there is cruel. i experienced culture shock, where everyone around me is not what i thought was normal. i was backbited by so-called friends. i never fight back since i'm not that kind of person. so i kept everything inside. all of their misconceptions about me, i didn't try to correct them. i tried to be who i am but it seems that we really can't rely or trust someone except us. from school problems come family problems where i'm always compared to my brother. it was a tough competition. i have to live up to what my parents expect from me. that's tough. it's where i can't be myself because i'm living in someone else's shadow. so, i can't be myself in school since noone seems to understand and i can't be myself infront of my family because i have to live to their expectations. so who am i then? and that's the start of loosing my selfworth to the extent of hating myself. i was so pessimistic, codependent & paranoid. it lasted for sometime. until one point in my life i felt so tired already that i wanted to end everything. but i know it was not worth it to end my life. that's my realization. i started to pick all the pieces in my life. started to acquaint with my own personality. i poured all my emotion into writing. came up with 2 notebooks filled with poems & short stories related to my life. funny because the 1st notebook was the negative part of my life & while writing my emotions i came up with the 2nd notebook filled with optimism. and up until now i'm full of positivity in my life.

i never tried to get my revenge back. what for? we don't need to prove anything to anyone. i never tried to prove them that i'm better than them. for what is worth, the mistakes, failures & the people who put me down are those who made me realize to stand up on my own. i've dusted my pants, stood up, wiped my tears with my chin up. that's my past life. and here i am -- all brand new.:)

Mine began when I was at school, because I never seemed to fit in. The other children didn't like me because I didn't act or behave in the same way they did.
When I became an adult I tried again to conform, and did my best to fit in. I did make friends, but I was always happiest on my own. There were always people who would take advantage of my willingness to please.

I gained a lot of confidence as I got older. My life changed when I stopped worrying about what anyone thought of me.

I'm glad I don't want what most other people expect from life. I do things in my own way. I try to live a good life and not to hurt anyone, or do any harm, but I can think for myself and make my own decisions.

I get on easily and well with people now, even if some of them do think me a bit strange.

I wore glasses up to three years ago. It had an impact on my self esteem especially during my teenage years. I learned to live with it but when I had the opportunity to remove the glasses with a laser operation I did it. I feel much better now. I never let anybody walk over me and finally managed to overcame the lack of self esteem.

Its something I've battled all my life. As a child I had a very bad overbite, and did eventually get braces. But when I was still too young for them the other kids teased me alot. Thankfully braces solved that issue. Then as an adult I've struggled off and on with my weight. Not a huge issue - but my ex husband would insult me constantly. He especially loved to do so in front of friends, family, or when out in public. I remember once when I was sunbathing (and not really all that heavy) he kept spraying me with the garden hose. I got mad and asked him why he was doing that. His answer - I've always heard you should keep beached whales wet down! I put up with that kind of abuse for many years. Thankfully, we are divorced now and I don't have him around to talk that way. But, I'm still trying to lose some weight and I am sometimes selfconsious about it. But mostly, I'm comfortable with who I am, and usually don't care now what anyone else thinks.

my parents caused me to have no self esteem at all...they always treated me like a stupid child even when i was in my early 20s...my mother always told me how to dress when i was younger and it was always in a way that ohter kids would make fun of and bully me for, she never let me go to parties or just to hang around with people my age...i was always stuck with old relatives or caring for my heart-sick aunt...nice for a little girl hu? that made me a harsh person, unable to deal with problems like normal people...fighting with everyone, always thinking people are laughing at me, always thinking they hate me, always thinking im not worthy of anything...i will always hate them for this among other things they did to ruin my life

I strongly believe that low self esteem comes from the people who surround your everyday life.

As a child other kids tease you about the way you dress, the way you talk, how much you listen to your parents rules, your a school nerd getting your homework done, glasses, braces and so much more.

As you get older you get the adult friends, telling you that your very negative (but they don't realize it's those around you that cause this), the friends try to make you feel like your "stupid" telling you that you are doing something right but really you aren't doing things the way THEY want you to do them making them feel superior, and again so much more.

Personally I think the person feeling the low self esteem needs to take a long hard look at those people around them and realize those that are good for them and those that are bad for them. Low self esteem comes out in so many aspects of your life it affects so many things.

Those around you who make you feel like your lacking in whatever way are people who are self absorbed and feel like life and the world should evolve around their beliefs and values and don't accept the way others think or believe.

Hope that helps.

I suffered with low self-esteem for a very long while and I'm glad that this is now in the past. What caused it? I guess a lot of negative thoughts and thinking emanating from my parents. There would always be the constant judgement of///you are not good enough///! This tends to reap havoc when this kind of thinking is fed to you constantly as a child. Still, I have recovered from this way of thinking now and I attribute this to positive thinking books! These are very good for you and it helps to constantly have one by your side, by your bed! Whenever I am starting to find things difficult emotionally I turn to a good positive thinking book and this seems to do the trick, it has the desired effect. I think that this is one area though that will need constant nurturing otherwise you may eventually find yourself relapsing! Stay positive and good luck. Andrew

I've had self esteem problems my entire life. I think most people do. Anyone who's ever been degraded or made fun of or humiliated is likely to have these issues. It just happens. It's no ones fault. The only way to fix it, is time, and positive thinking. And if it's really bad, counseling with a professional.

I have had low self-esteem a few times in my life. The first time would have been when I was in highschool. The kids picked on me because I was different. I had a few problems and they thought that gave them the right to actually do so. I worked past that with the help of my family and my own attitude. How did I do this? I basically took a different view on the world, the view that nothing mattered as long as I was happy with myself. That time was fairly easy to work through.
The second time I had to deal with low self-esteem was shortly after I injured myself at work and my ex's kid's decided it was alright to attack me for being injured and not having a job anymore. This really made me loath myself because I viewed my role in our relationship as that of being the breadwinner. I fumed and raged inwardly, but outwardly I became depressed until it all came to a head. I let loose alright and I hated myself even more for having the audacity to let my anger out. I thought that by doing so I was showing that I was weak. I felt like nothing, and for a while I was nothing. It took a while to get over that one, but eventually I did. What helped me there is that I finally realized that if someone loves you enough they will stand up for you even if it is against their own children sometimes. I'm not saying they should defend you over their own children, but when the other party is in the wrong, yes they should stand up for you. It was a mental battle between my loathing and my feeling of rightness. I left that relationship behind. I figured if my ex truly cared she would have made sure her kids respected me by not degrading or attacking me for the loss of a simple job. Throughout it all, I always felt that I was less than nothing in the relationship. Now, I have moved on, I am independent, and I am happy, for the most part. I know that sometimes things will get rough, by my self-esteem is not at issue here, only my morale about the future. So,in the end, yes I fixed my problem, and hopefully I will never make the same mistake twice.