At what ages can you say that children should now fend for themselves?

Most kids are anxious to get out on their own by the time their 18, thinking they can handle the world. Few are actually able to and end up needing help from their parents for a while. With any luck their usually stable by their late 20's and holding their own. By their mid thirties, their usually well-settled and stable. It really depends on the kids too. Some never grow up and some are grown and stable at 19. It just depends...I think that parents should always be there for their kids even if it's just to talk to them and support them in decisions they make. [b]~~AT PEACE WITHIN~~ **STAND STRONG IN YOUR BELIEFS**[/b]

I would never tell my children that it was time for them to fend for themselves if by that you mean, "Get out of my house and learn about life for yourself". My husband and I are the type of parents that want our children with us as long as possible. I know many people who can't wait till their children are out on their own but we're not like that. Maybe it has to do with the fact that two of our children are type 1 diabetics and they have a tendency to go low during sleep. There have been many times when they have woken up and been so low that I have had to help them get back to a normal level. They will do it themselves if they are not so low that they can't stand but if they are very weak or have seizures then we have to help them. If they were to move out with some of their friends who know about their condition, have grown up around them and know how to handle this situation then fine. Otherwise, I would rather they be at home. My son is 22, our oldest daughter is 19 and the youngest just turned 18. They all three live at home, however my 19 year old did move out for a few months but could not make it on what she was being paid and returned. My son would like to move out but he stays at home so that he can help us pay bills which I think is a very responsible thing to do. They all have jobs and buy their own things. A lot of times they will bring food in for everyone to eat or whatever. They have their own bills such as cell phones and car insurance which they pay. In other words, I believe they are responsible, that they do have an understanding of how much money it takes to live on and they also do well at their jobs. I believe what it boils down to is the fact that you can't just set a certain age for all kids and say it's time to fend for yourselves. There are some kids that act like they are 14 even when they're 19 or 20 years old. It depends on their maturity level, the circumstances, etc. When my kids find the right roommates, since they know that they don't make enough money to pay rent and other bills by themselves and they feel they are ready then my husband and I will wish them well, tell them they always have a place with us if they need it and hope that everything works out.

In some societies children pretty much fend for themselves very early. There are some children who do not even go to school because they have to help the family make some money. This very bad and society should change this.

I think that's a process that evoloves over the years. As kids get bigger, they naturally want more independence and seek to get it. I started mine with little things like getting their own breakfast, picking up their room, etc. A small allowance also helps them learn to deal with money and start to learn how to handle a budget. As they get older, I give them more responsibilites, like their own house key, running some errands, etc. This summer, my son had a small part time job as he saving for a car. Once he finishes high school, I'll see if he goes to college locally or away. If away, I'll help him set himself up and if here, he can stay as long as he continues to study and work. Sometimes I feel guilty about making him do so much, but I know that it's important to establish good work habits for his future.

As far as my oipnion is concerned, once a child finishes his or her education, he should start looking for a job. Once he gets a job, parents should slowly try to make them independent. It should be a gradual process not a sudden one. When the child stabilises in the job front, parents can relax and let the child manage everything himself. Age should not be a criterion. We all need emotional support at one point or another. Emotional support is extremely important. That will make your child stronger not weaker. We have to continuously encourage them to stand on their feet but when the right time has come.

i think around the age of 12 they should start doing a little more for themselves.. and just gradually increase it with other responsibilities.. but then again no to 12 year olds are alike.. some are more mature than adults and the others are infants