Ok.....I just want some feedback.....

This link didn't work for me!

As Penny stated in the other thread, don't take criticism too harshly. My thoughts:

1. Spellcheck it. Obviously, this is MyLot so I'm guessing you had to retype it (since we can't copy/paste 'til we hit 500 posts or something), but in the original make sure that those errors are gone.

2. Grammar check it. Same as above.:)

3. Why would an Academy where he lives be sending him letters? That seemed odd to me, especially if it's mediaeval, when most people couldn't read. The instructor is far too nice and polite, too, in my opinion. Then again, maybe I just have a dim view of the military...!!

4. The main thing is that it sounds - no offense intended - standard. Hero is a young man, fighter, just graduating. No parents. His girlfriend is a sorceress. He gets in trouble a lot. Personally, I liked it but it didn't pull me in because there's no feeling that anything unusual is involved. Now, slow starting stories are fine once you know an author, but as a first tale it should probably either be more dramatic at the outset (as Penny suggested) or have something intriguing - some weird thing that makes no sense on its own or seems unrelated but leaves the reader wondering what on earth's going on.

Just my 2 cents, as they say. Nice writing, though - very easy to read, flows well, good descriptions.