The most expensive gift for kids - Are we listening to kids patiently?
By Zhu Huifen
@zhuhuifen46 (3483)
China
January 12, 2009 11:04pm CST
While giving piles of gifts to kids, which I believe is necessary to show our love, can we offer something more tender to them, something that might change the personality or even life for our kids?
Very often we complain our kids are reluctant to share with us their feelings, ideas... Looking back, I am thinking maybe the way we acted had given a negative impact on them. Burdened by work in office and at home, we were not patient in listening, with quick interruptions by matter of fact instructions, usually accompanied with a loud voice, a long face... Their solutions were seldom invited, ideas and acts deviating from yours were immediately quenched as bad manners.
It is not easy to learn how to listen. It might take months or years to learn. Learn how to listen to our kids with a concentrated mind, physically and mentally squatting to equal level, to show respect to their feelings and to their ego. Only in this way can they be brought up in a favorable environment in developing their ability of communication, problem solving and creativeness.
That is the most expensive gift we can and we should give to our kids. Your ideas?
2 people like this
3 responses
@arkadeb313 (593)
• India
18 Jan 09
Hi friend zhuhuifen46, I have two kids. one girl of 11 and a boy of 6+. I am facing the same problem. I am also not listening to the kids, as you have suggested, going at their level. That is a big problem and no gift can be its equivalent.
Thanks for your post on the matter. We should try to be at their level and be a true listener whom kids can take seriously to narrate their story. They should feel like opening up their mind to us, the parents. And it is real difficult to be so.
i must try now to be so.
Thanks again
@zhuhuifen46 (3483)
• China
18 Jan 09
Good to have your response. I understand the puzzle of young mom. It is only at my age that I learn to appreciate the company of kids, and become sensitive to find their nice things. An appreciating attitude is important.
@Lore2009 (7378)
• United States
16 Jan 09
This is a nice discussion and I agree with it a lot. I am not a parent yet, but watching my parents I feel that sometimes, I wonder who they are also. They are desperate to want to know who we are at times, yet we were really never given the chance and the chance of knowing who they are also.
@laglen (19759)
• United States
14 Jan 09
First off, I disagree that we need piles of gifts to show our love to our children. I think that your posting is perfect proof that your time is more preferable to children than your money or gifts. I think if parents would take a minute to look at their kids. Stop worrying about material things and worry more about what your kids are doing thinking and feeling. I wish that more people would do this.
