wondering why is one thing good enoug for reglion people but not good enough for
By syankee525
@syankee525 (6249)
United States
February 7, 2009 8:17am CST
ok i've dealing with things from my two kids and daughter in law. i've hearing my son and his wife that my daughter to forgive them? or just they did nothing wrong at all.
to me if they want her to forgive them, they need to forgive her. also my daughter in law claims my daughter need to stop running to us, but she runs to her pastor and his wife.
i am so wanting to know why haven't the pastor tell her, you need to forgive and let go of things and move on with life instead be so consume by this.
i always thought in Mathew it say we shall forgive and let things go
why is it any different for some church people not to do it, and think the person who don't atten church should do all the work ?
3 responses
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
8 Feb 09
That's a good question. I think that a lot of it is tied up in interpretation and ego. Sometimes the ego overides all other thought processes, even our spirituality causing us to make some very irrational decisions.
Have you tried discussing these things with the daughter-in-law? I'm a bit unclear as to how all of this is working. I'm guessing your son is married to one woman, your daughter to another, and your son's wife is making waves for your daugther and her family? (Just trying to make sure I'm reading this correctly).
I'm also not clear as to why the transgression was they wish forgiven? It does seem fair though that both parties at some point will need to air grievances, and then move forward. Perhaps a third party may very well help-someone not connected with either party who can help them work through their issues.
Namaste-Anora
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
8 Feb 09
no my daughter isn't married. but it's over something happen 3 yrs ago, my son and his wife still holding onto it, and in fact it really wasn't that bad. but both girls had fault in it, my daughter in law claims to have never did anything wrong, that she deni any smart remarks to my daughter.
but last year i went through a big fight with my sister in law, about something. that was so bad i wasn't going to go over to my in law's house for the holidays, and my son was like you must forgive her, bluh bluh go over because of me, mom, and my sister, as well the grandkids. ok fine, i will go over there for you guys, and i will show respect for you guys, but how about you and your wife forgiving your sister, and move on like you think i should be doig.
then it's awhole different story, we just can't do that blu bluh bluh, yeah what i figure. what ever happen to the bible where it say thy shall forgive?
good enough for me but not good enough for you, at least the thing with them is stuipd, compare to my issue with my sister in law
@Anora_Eldorath (6028)
• United States
8 Feb 09
It's so very difficult for people though to forgive because we have trouble forgetting. That is the critical part. So, we have to learn that even if we do not forget the incident we must not keep reliving it. I am surprised as well that the Pastor has not intervened and told them the very same thing. And yes, you are correct, Jesus tells us to forgive others 70x7. That's a lot of forgiving!
Perhaps you could just sneek them a copy of the Veggie Tales "God wants me to forgive them" for one of their children.
I hope it works out for you and your family.
@JenInTN (27514)
• United States
8 Feb 09
I can't imagine why the pastor has not suggested letting this issue..whatever it may be..to rest. Are they all members of the same church? I don't know syankee..it really doesn't make any sense why the pastor doesn't advocate forgiveness or why it's memebers won't practice it. I thought that forgiveness was certainly one of the most active practices within the church aside from praying for it.
@syankee525 (6249)
• United States
8 Feb 09
i know i think abou that as well, whatever happen to thy shall forgive and move on with life. like my dad said, whatever happen to thy shall honor thy parents, so pretty much for my son to step up and tell his wife.
ok look this gone on long enough, and this upset my parnets, and when my mom get upset it effic her eyes presssure, and when my mom get sick because of this my dad is a really jerk, which means we all get yelled at so we should forgive and move on.
oh yeah jerk is putting it nicely, i told all of them momma not happy, no one not happy, momma get sick from crap, daddy get highly upset.
@eksmith (64)
• United States
10 Feb 09
Forgiveness is often misunderstood. Many feel that by forgiving an act or person that they are condoning it or that they're saying it doesn't hurt anymore. Ego plays a huge role in this.
Forgiveness doesn't mean anything other than letting go of the anger and hatred that keeps you from moving on with your life and treating others the way you want to be treated. Religious or not, many have difficulty letting go and forgiving.
It seems that all involved are feeding off of the attention that this dispute is causing, looking for someone to tell them they are right and that the other is wrong. Unfortunately, they don't realize, that it's not about right or wrong when it comes to forgiveness. Forgiveness is a choice not a feeling, often times it's a choice that you have to make over and over again to move on.
This is obviously affecting you a great deal, but know that you can't control their choices or actions. However, you can remove yourself from the situation. Tell all parties involved that you will not be a part of this issue or drama any longer, until they are ready to actually discuss it and move on with out blame and he said, she saids.
