Idiots of 2008! I LOVE it when people make me feel a whole lot smarter! lol.

I never considered what brand of Scotch it might have been? If you're gonna go down in flames like that, I'd hope it was for nothing less than Blue Label or a single malt! lol.

No It was not cheap

Yeah I am that number one idiot

AND you said in another discussion that you hate spanking panda's too, maths! Thats's the most horrifying thing I've heard this year! lol.

LMAO! No matter how much the universe may conspire against them, you can never keep a true idiot down for long! Oh to realise such a coveted destiny! lol. Here's another one from the list I received:

Number Three Idiot(s) of 2008

Early this year, some Boeing employees on the airfield decided to steal a life raft from one of the 747s. They were successful in getting it out of the plane and home. Shortly after they took it for a float on the river, they noticed a Westpac Rescue Helicopter coming towards them. It turned out that the chopper was homing in on the emergency locator beacon that activated when the raft was inflated. They are no longer employed at Boeing.

Just brilliant! Now, you can't teach genius like this, no way. It's a gift presented by God to only a select few!

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Hahahahahahahaha. Will wonders NEVER cease? I remember reading a story about a bank robber that wrote the demand note on the back of his electricity bill! What an absolute tosser and his family must be SO proud! lol. Thanks for the links Alok, VERY funny stuff!

Thanx for those links alokn I'm still chuckling as I type, especially at the look on his face.. really admiring himself he is dear oh dear, what a numpty!

It ended up being a lucky ticket then if it stuck to your shoe like that! Maybe it was fate? Do you know if the train you missed ended up derailing or something? lol. I'm not too bad at carrying things from point A to point B myself actually! But my specialty is dropping things or falling over BETWEEN point A and point B! Especially the falling over part. If there's even the slightest dip in the road, or object that could be tripped over, I'm gonna find it! It's like I have this inbuilt magnet that not only attracts objects to stumble over, but groups of people to watch me fall as well! I do need to trip into a train carriage though as I haven't done that yet!

You might have something more import than walking itself in your mind. So, you fell over!Or, you kept thinking about the philosophic theory of life, such as how was the panda doing, on the slope. haha
This reminded me of something. My old classmate fell down a flight of stairs in some other city and got hurt. Nobody lent a hand though tons of people passed by.
So, we were so angry to know her experience that we used to tell everyone just never ever visited that uncivilized city. Anyway, it was something long long ago! I guess I shouldn't raise an age old question again.:D
I hope whenever you fall over, someone who happens to see you can help you to stand up though you can stand up all by yourself, lol. It's stories like these little acts of kindness that should give the wonderful world limitless hope.

Hahahahahahaha. Well in that case, I've owned millions of watches for years and never even knew it! Another one that really befuddles an idiot is to lock them in a circular room and then tell them to go and sit in the corner! It'll kepp 'em busy for days!

that reminds me of starting work.. the initiation... getting sent for a long stand and a sky hook and a left handed screwdriver, I got caught with the last one

Hahahahahaha. At least they didn't send you off to find a six inch populating tool! I've seen THAT one done to someone before and it was hilarious!

When I call,all move off together, one after the other.

HICCUP/

6" tool hahahaha
hiccup: hahahah that's a cracker

But........ Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! lol.

SHUT YOUR MOUTH AND EAT UP.

HICCUP/

Yes Sir! And stop looking at me in that tone of voice too dagnabbit! LMAO

It's not the Fall that hurts, It's the Sudden Stop.

HICCUP/

OMG! Look at that rotting bird!

* Alice and Hiccup look UP*

erm.. i'm a bit fik James, you'll have to explain that one

It's rotting which means it sure ain't flyin'! Ah, never mind me, I's is off with the aliens somewhere I fink!

Have you OD'd on your medication James?

I don't take meds Alice. Heck no! All my mind altering substances come from the air itself!

woohoo I'm moving to Egypt It's probably all those mummies boes dust flying about in the air from digging up too many tombs

I'm not quite sure about that actually, 'cos the air seems to have the same effect on me in many countries! Poor Hiccup, you do realise we're bombarding his email inbox here yes?

Tuff! he should turn off notifiers if he can't handle it I was responding to his post too

.

GEE I must be ANGRY, ha ha. And I thought I was HICCUP/

HICCUP/

What a dumbass! I remember reading about another idiot that robbed a bank wearing a motorcycle helmet. Police kicked in his door at home and arrested him less than an hour later. How did they find him so quickly? The idiot had his full name stencilled on the front of his helmet! I reckon that drunk driver got the adequate karma sent his way! lol. I abhor drunk driving too. I'd be telling lies if I said I've never done it, but that was some 10 years or more ago and I certainly wouldn't do it again today. Anyone caught driving while drunk deserves every fine and punishment there is.

Totally agree with you my friend the full force of the law.
My ex once got his ankle crushed under a wheel because of drink driving.. his nephew was drunk, thought he would play a trick on him as he was getting in the car, and drove slowly forward as he did. Resulting in his foot getting caught under the wheel... ouch! the dumb things people do.

Ouch alright! Thankfully I never ended up in an accident myself, but the thought of what COULD have been isn't a nice thing to think about. I habe a friend who wiped himself out so badly he was in rehabilitation for 18 months! Alongside the under the influence charges, one of the other charges he had thrown at him was grievous bodily harm against himself! (Seriously) He's lucky to be alive and still limps to this day. One heck of a way to learn a lesson! Thank God he was alone and there were no other cars on the road when he had his accident.

I didn't know you could be charged with inflicting injuries upon yourself ... that's scary! Thanx for the info James

I didn't know this either, but he swears this was the case! Apparently the Police were so pissed at him for being such a dumbass they did all they could to hit him up with this charge alongside the others! Fair enough too I reckon.

well I'm glad to hear that. I see I've missed loads of fun.... again! I was away watching twilight.

Great storyline in Twilight! I've seen the movie a few times now as I have a copy on my PC. I've also just finished the book and have started on the second book "New Moon". We have all 4 of the novels here, but I'm struggling to find the time to finish them. My Wife loved them! Some people might think that there's too much hype about it all, but I personally think the movie, the books and the premise in general are wonderful!

I'm glad your wife enjoyed them. I loved the movie.. my daughter and I have the same taste in most movies and she has been downloading the ebooks (2nd and 3rd) and she said they are awesome. I will wait for the movies though, I don't do reading now.

You don't "do" reading? lol. I'm not sure why that's funny, but it sounds funny to me for some reason. Me? I don't "do" crochet or knitting!

That'll be because you're a reader James. lol There's a lot of things I don't do now.. top of the list is stress now that does make you an idiot! ... not you.. i mean.. ocht you know what I mean lol.. don't get funny on me now

I won't get funny if you don't get funny. We can both be NOT funny together.


Nah, I don't like that at all..... Can't I get funny just a little bit? Maybe I should thank you for your response? That usually does it! lol.

Now maybe you want me to say "ok go ahead thank me" just so I'll pi$$ off? did you follow that?.. I didn't

I try not to follow at all if I can help it. Going with the flow is far less stressful!

I'm actually gonna agree with you for once! And only the one cup of coffee so far too? Amazing! I'm glad you're feeling very Einstein at the moment cannette, what a shame the dude's dead though! A few more cups of coffee shoudl change that. Or maybe a horse walk?

lol@ ammo as long as you don't LOOK like einstein!

What??? Einstein was sexy in a "just woke up and been electrocuted" kinda way! I'm sure he was a popular pin up boy down at the blind academy!

electrocuted hahahah with his brains and your craziness you'd make a fine pair James

We've already clarified that he's no longer with us, yes? Maybe I can hang out with Stephen Hawking for a while instead?

good grief, i leave for an hour and miss all the fun!!

keep it up with the horse walking jokes and you might be hanging out with Einstein, james.

Don't you worry cannette, this angle'll NEVER get old for me! It might be nice for you to get a different form of exercise from horse walking too. If this exercise means taking me down, then so be it. I'm all about helping people man!

thats what i'm afraid of james and why i keep hoping you'll hit your head and get amnesia!

I DID hit my head once. How'dya think I ended up with the little bit of common sense I have? FAERIES gave it to me??? Jeez! I might've had amnesia once too, but I don't really remember if I did or not.

naw, i thought it was one of yer three wishes!
smacks james in the head with hammer whaddaya remember?

THREE wishes??? Wow, you're doing OK then. I get confused after one and a bit..... I don't mind getting hammered once in a while either, so bring it on.

ROFL@ keep it up with the horse walking jokes and you might be hanging out with Einstein, james nice one cannette

Jeez Alice, don't be encouraging the woman! LMAO

don't listen to him alice. encourage me!

I'd much rather she encouraged you to paint or somethin' like that. lol. Oooooh, how about Origami? You can make paper walking horses and everything with Origami!

i could also make a little paper James & hang you in effigy!

LMAO, hiya cannette. That sounds like some voodoo stuff you're practicing there!

hi Alice. hhhmmmm, voodoo stuff. yer givin' me ideas along with the encouragement. james better watch it now, i have seen The Serpent & The Rainbow a million times. i could make the zombie powder.

Yeah? Well the "Serpent and Rainbow" version ya read was more than likely a colouring in book, so I ain't scared. I bet ya never stayed within the lines either! You know what you can do with yer effin' effigy too don't ya? LMAO.

i didn't read the book, i watched the movie so... and i think i know what you mean i can do with my effin' effigy. I CAN LIGHT IT ON FIRE TOO!!!

PMSL@ staying within the lines
I thought you meant starting a discussion on voodoo there cannette!
I wouldn't mess with that sh!t.. mm mmm no way!

<< breaks out into a doors song.. 'come on baby light my fire'

They can do some pretty wicked stuff with a live chicken though! Well, it's not alive for long, but the lead in's fantastic! As for me, I'd rather get kinky with a feather!

ROFLMOA @ alice
and sings along

goes next door & steals a chicken
thanks for reminding me. almost forgot i need a chicken.

<<< legs it before the chicken ceremony begins

Alice, come back. I'm just gonna throw the chicken in the air a couple times.

sick... funny ..but sick

it is james' fault. he brings out my "disturbed" side.

hahaha Maybe he will think you'll get disturbed at all the email notifications too

Don't go blamin' me for your throwing chickens in the air antics! All I wanted was a damn feather!

I do! Here's another couple:

Number Four Idiot of 2008

A motorist was unknowingly caught in an automated speed trap that measured his speed using radar and photographed his car. He later received in the mail a ticket for $140 and a photo of his car. Instead of payment, he sent the police department a photograph of $140. Several days later, he received a letter from the police that contained another picture, this time of handcuffs. He immediately mailed in his $140.

Idiot Number Six of 2008

A pair of robbers entered a record shop nervously waving revolvers. The first one shouted, 'Nobody move!' When his partner moved, the startled first bandit shot him.

Bless their little cotton socks I say! We should all aspire to such greatness! lol.

Thank you James,i needed good laugh this morning you made my day for me.thanks.

My pleasure! We should try to start each and every day with laughter I reckon. It sure ain't easy to do that, but wouldn't it be great if we could!

yes we should start are morning off with a good laugh.lately i haven't fault like laughing at all but as becca says it nice to have a friend that can make you feel better and make you laugh.THANKS

Smart kid you've got there!

she is smarter than she lets on
.She is a sweet heart.and my little one here watching me write says hi how about me lol she is very smart too for a girl turning 8 on monday lol

ROFL that's a good one, I actually like the criminals humour there.
Smart retort from the police too though!

wildcat.. I laugh at something every day hon, it's what keeps me sane. hugs*

Oooooh! Happy Birthday for Monday then! I hope she has a wonderful day and gets spoilt rotten! I'm adept enough to read between the lines with Becca too, don't you worry about that! I know she's a smart one.

LISA say thank and she likes you too,now you have three of us liking you lolo.love to meet you one of these day face to face.just keep it going james lolyou are better than med.lol

thank Alice i will try hugs

If I ever make it back to the states again, I'm definitely going to try and fit in a road trip! There are so many of you I'd love to meet one day too!

That a deal,just don't make us wait to long lol.have to have a get together for every one.lol

The challenge these days is that all my work is Middle East based, So I rarely travel outside of the region at the moment! I was in DC about 10 months ago, it's a shame I didn't know y'all then as I would have taken a few extra days and gone tourin'! I'll get back there one day I'm sure.

don't worry about it we will meet one of those day,somewhere,some how!until then this will have to do.enjoy your self.

You better not make her laugh her butt off to much..then she would look like a candy apple. .lol I am so not as smart as you take me for mom. I didn't finish school, I haven't accomplished nothing in life really. I live from day to day and never take tomorrow for granted. People sometimes have to read between the lines to figure out what I am actually trying to say since I can be very confusing at times. But then I confuse my self at times. We all need to laugh everyday and most times it sets our moods for the rest of the day..Live..laugh..love..and occasionally a dance in the rain..which I thought of doing last night when it was raining..but it was doing a little bit to much lightening for my taste..like god lost something and him and the angels were up there with flashlights looking for it..at 3:33 this morning..

We'll all try not to make her laugh her butt OFF, of course! We all need our butts, so that wouldn't be right! Lucky you for getting rain, I've seen it once in the last 6 months or so..... And if it's any consolation, I'm not educated either Becca. Aside from High School, which I just barely scraped through, I never went any further with studies. I have a degree from the "University of Life" is how I see it!

thats because i don't have a butt they call me flat dutch,and chicken legs.lol

Flat as a flitter..and I swear you do have chicken legs..especially when you put on spandex pants when we went to the gym..lol

Chicken legs and spandex..... That's a funny vision in my head right there! is it kind of like turkey arms and lycra, or different? Do turkey's even HAVE arms??? lol.

now James,get my legs out of your head right now,i need them to walk with lol

It's a hot day here too unfortunately! The upside though, is that it's a dry heat, so no stickiness. I'm enjoy pretty much anything that makes me feel smarter!

Tell me about it! Thank goodness the woman told the person on the other line about it too. It's hard enough keeping small children away from poisons as it is without handing it to them stupidly like this! When she turned up with her child at the hospital, I hope they also sent her off to "Common Sense School" for a lesson or two!

Amen to that. I'd suggest she take the whole course, not just the one lesson! lol

Good idea. Actually, they should chain the woman to one of the classroom chairs permanently! I guess it could've been worse though and thank God her kid didn't eat a rat!

Your Mom took the cake? ALL of it??? That's not very nice at all. She could've at least shared some of it before taking it! It's an entire cake fer God's sake! Next time you see your Ma, hide the cake Irish.

;looks around, whispers; Would you help me hide it!;hands cake to jimmy;

Oh my poor, poor deluded Irish..... Rule number one - ALWAYS hide cake from your Ma. Rule number 2 - NEVER ask James to help hide the cake! (That was great cake, thanks for that!)

Dang it! I shoulda known..............sigh................