Can husbands be true lovers?

Good for you. Thanks for posting:)

I think be it a man or a woman should have time for romance to spice up their married life.

But what i mean here is something to do with their attitude and expectations. I have seen that men before marriage can accept their love as she is and let her do what ever she likes and ensures she is happy all the time. But when the knot is tied everything is topsyturvy and the same loving partner starts expecting from his partner, gets irritated on whatever she does, what becomes important is making money and not her - things like that.

However, all men are not,like that:)

I see your point now. Yes it is true some do that alot. But if we let them know ahead of time we expect more and keep at it maybe they will focus on what needs focusing on and separate the two parts leave work at work and come home and relax and be the one they were attracted to enough to say I Do.

It takes a very balanced and courageous man to give his wife space and accept her the way she is, warts and all.:)

Very well said tutor, although mine forgot that I don't like fish today..he got me a Long John Silver fish dinner, I know I should have appreciated it and all but we have been together over 19 years..he should have remembered that one little thing. But I guess it is the thought that counts.

smilin ... you must have your husband trained if hes bringing you home dinner ... mine would expect dinner on the table when he got home from work ... its ok we arent married anymore ... and i have seen that behaviour too in men Divkris ....I lived in Korea for 5 years ... men were all loving and romantic to the woman they were suiting but when they married they were totally opposite ... they ignored their wives etc ... people change after marriage ... thats why i'm not marring again ... marrying someone seems to imply they now own you and have a piece of paper to prove it .... i will never be tied like that again ... unless of course its my twin flame ... then i will be able to trust the relationship ... but i dont think marriage is a necessity ... you can love and commit with out it .. and i have posted a discussion about it before ... a lot disagree with me but some dont ... so its all good ... just follow your heart before ever marrying .. cause you sure dont want to be tied to the wrong man ....

dewgurl, you are lucky at - least your hubby gets you something

BTW, braided you are right. I at times do think why i got married and i should have been given some time to make my own choice. But marriage depends on the place and family you are bought up in - in our place (all over India) people get their daughters married as soon as she turns 18 or 20 and the girl is left with no choice but to marry the person her parents arrange.

My husband gets me takeout only a very few times a year. maybe 3 or 4 times. Not alot of money left for indulgences but when they are we get a pizza or hamburger. He didn't tell me about the Long John Silver thing until It arrived(he sent his brother and sister in law after it.) So I wasn't able to voice ahead of time to remind him that I didn't like fish. He ended up with the dinner while I cooked myself something.

I have heard stories and seen shows about that and the problems that can arise. I am sorry though that people don't have a choice in their choosing of their mates.

LOL - your husband will never forget from now on that you are not fond of fishes:) - Good one:)

Times are changing in India and hopefully my daughter will not have to face the same problem as i did:)

Well, I do hope it changes fast enough then.

Nice to note you are having a very happy love life. I do appreciate you.

But it is too early to comment on your love. It is easy to be in love when your love is just one year old.

When you are married and live for five or ten years with your partner, then you should feel and talk the same way you did now. Then only we can say a love is success.

Many men seem to show less love towards their women after marriage, it is true. They don't express their love as before. They express when they date.

Lucky are those who have loving spouse:) All the best to you all, as the important and challenging part of it all is to have the spirits on forever:)

Thsnks

Thankd shibham for have responded and laos agreed upon the discussion. I hope people take it in the right spirit and hope this discussion adds some quaity in everyone's life:)

You are right, Karen! Husbands or rather a spounse is the best of all possible lover - it is just that they have to realize it!:)

You are right in a way, tutor! I think it would be wie to communicate your expectations with your better-half and hope the other person also takes it in the right spirit;)

Good for you;) and God bless you - maintain the healthy relationship forever, that is all i wish:)

I would disagree here. In my case, I did not know my husband before marriage. But I feel we fit the bill of lovers more than a married couple. And it is certainly not be because of the newness of our relationship (I got married last year). Probably it is contextual...

I am sorry to say that I disagree with Bewitched 13. My husband and I were lovers for five and half months before marraige and I have not found any change in character of my husband after marraige. Moreover, the love deepens after marriage.

You have brought up two valuable points - 'accept them as they are'and 'expect less' keeps a person happy always.

Great to know that peope are coming out with thier own opinion and i should say that all three of you are right in your own way - probably each of you have had differnt experiences in your married life. Anyway, all thebest and thanks for responding:)

many a times the wife and the husband do not think on parrale lines. I thin the best thing about being in love with your spouse is that you will give them their space and also respect their view in all cases:)

Maybe doing things such as playing with each other or doing "pillow fights" helps. These childish pranks keeps the children in us alive, which in turn keeps the innocent feeling of love within us burning bright.:)

I agree with both of you (well i'm not being diplomatic here) - and i like the pillow fight idea - but the point is that your spouse should also have a playful mind in these cases - otherwise you will endup hurting him/her badly:P

I agree to you both. Div you have a valid point there. Both have to be playful and ready to these kinda activities. Many times two completely different minds get married and what works for one couple might not work for another.