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why some men have mistress? email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 91/100. clarizz (170)   ranked 2,136 out of 23,355 in relationships6 months ago

i was sad when i heard that my lady friend broke up with his boyfriend when his boyfriend's wife found out about their relationship... my freind was a mistress...
can you guys give me any idea why some men have mistress? how can they lie to their family?
i want my friend to forget him and i just want to help my friend answer her questions.
any advice to help my friend?

 
 
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tags:  relationship, mistress, mature content, men, women
 
1. myLot reputation of 96/100. ShellyB (3008)   ranked 3,268 out of 23,355 in relationships   6 months ago

I guess men will answer in many ways to that question.
It is up to your friend to answer why she thought she could be with a married man, what did she wanted out of the relationship and now that it is over, she can see that well he lied to her if he told her there was a future for them and that as relatioships goes it was not going anywhere right?
I do not know how can you help your friend. You can be a shoulder for her to cry on, other than that it is up to her if she ever wants to see that man again or not.


myLot reputation of 91/100. clarizz (170)   ranked 2,136 out of 23,355 in relationships  6 months ago

Hi there..
thanks for the advice my friend.. maybe all i can do is to be her shoulder to lean on....
happy posting my friend.

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2. baywalker (40)   ranked 14,544 out of 23,355 in relationships   6 months ago

It seems like that 90% men have mistress,it's a society problem.I think it's not a good idea to give your advice to your friend.maybe someday your friend forgive her boyfriend,then you will be embarrassed.

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3. myLot reputation of 91/100. mynestegg (162)   ranked 8,366 out of 23,355 in relationships   6 months ago

I watched a bull**** Oprah episode on this. There was this expert saying that men cheat because they are insecure (perhaps, I think I will agree... inflates your ego to have many around huh?) or perhaps feel under-appreciated. But really, all you have to do is talk to your partner.

My advice to your friend: see if there was something that she might have done to cause her partner to do that, if she does, I'm sure it is something that can be improved. Use it as a way to make herself a better person who will also deserve a better partner.

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4. myLot reputation of 94/100. jbrooks0127 (1717)   ranked 188 out of 23,355 in relationships   6 months ago

Men...and women....have affairs for basically the same reasons. They are unhappy in the relationship they are in. Often it has more to do with opportunity than deliberately looking for one.

I lost my first wife for this very reason. She was unhappy with our relationship and found someone that made her feel wanted and needed again. I was of course wrapped up in making a living and spent too much time doing that. There are a number of other reasons but they all come down to the fact she was not happy and the opportunity presented itself.

Your friend may not have known he was married. However that is not always the case. Even though they know it does not stop them.

I have never had an affair so I can not really tell you the why of it except for what I have just said. Your friend does need to forget him and move on with her life. Easy said, not so easy done. But more importantly she needs to learn from this and make sure that the next relationship is honest and aboveboard.
This can be done very easily. Just insist that he spend more time with her when a married man would need to be with his family. If he has excuses that he can't then find out why.

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5. myLot reputation of 94/100. my_name_is_coco (2516)   ranked 5,816 out of 23,355 in relationships   6 months ago

i think there are a number of reasons for this.some aren't happy with their partner.some are bored with their relationships.some are looking for variety.some just want to have fun and cheat.some just have big ego and would just like a trophy "girlfriend" that they can parade anywhere.

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6. myLot reputation of 41/100. wowdca (415)   ranked 6,580 out of 23,355 in relationships   6 months ago

Well, you have to understand that not all men are like that. Also, there are women out there that's far worse than a man when it comes to cheating. I guess the moral here is to not entertain men or women who's already married or even in a relationship. Do unto others what you want them to do unto you..

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7. myLot reputation of 99/100. 4pawsx4 (716)   ranked 5,234 out of 23,355 in relationships   6 months ago

i think men get into those types of relationships because they are not getting the love, attention or the physical attention they need. they go elsewhere to find it. on the flip side, i think some women become mistresses for the physical needs without having strings attached, although this could work for both the man or the woman. either way, its wrong. if someone is not happy in their marriage, they should divorce but some are afraid of what they stand to lose, the house, the kids, half of everything. because of this fear of losing things through divorce, they can lie and be so convincing. extra maritial affairs never work out. eventually someone gets antsy and goes on to finding someone who is better than the one they are cheating with and someone always gets hurt.

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8. myLot reputation of 97/100. busky5 (2032)   ranked 5,293 out of 23,355 in relationships   6 months ago

Men who like to flirt women, rich men who like to distribute money when they got married sometime they don't change behavior. Some men are handsome or savety money, and more responsibility not have mistress.

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9. myLot reputation of 98/100. simonelee (704)   ranked 349 out of 23,355 in relationships   6 months ago

A lot of behavioral and psychological studies conducted to that problem but none of that explains well.lol I think men having a mistress is their nature. Men commit them self to that kind of relationship because of their unexplained needs.Sometimes they find their needs to other women,sometimes their are just experimenting and exploring things.

Men, should realize that what they are doing is unacceptable to the eyes of society and to God.

Giving advice to your friend is not a good idea because your friend is needing someone who listen to her and someone to comfort. a simple gesture and care is enough for her,just lend your ears to her is a big help. Let your friend realize her mistakes so that she will learn from it.

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10. myLot reputation of 98/100. yolanda19191 (748)   ranked 5,632 out of 23,355 in relationships   6 months ago

in fact,i dont like ur friend,if she knew his boyfriend was a married man.
now there are lots of such situations. i see so much around. in the past,maybe only the rich have mistress,but now, even the average men also keep the mistress.
it really disappoints me so much.

well, i cant only express my emotions here.
it's easy to handle,i think. if it's the situation i mentioned above, so just let her go,maybe later,she'll find another married or single man to be mistress.
but if she was cheated by the man.tell her it's not worth being sad for him.to find the truth earlier is better. u can find ways help her to forget the awful man.there are many ways to transfer attention.
first, to have a long travel.
second,to set up a goal in life,certainly not abt the feeling.the busy life always can help people forget the sad memories.
third,to have parties with good friends,such as u.when in the group,one can be happier.
forth,wait...the time can cure almost all wounds.
if ur friend is the second situation.i do hope she can recover soon,and also believe she can find a better guy.

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