Low self esteem just getting lower!

I don't really know what to say; but I really feel that the problem here is low self-esteem. Your little boy is unable to get people to like him because he cannot like himself. Isn't there any way to make him feel good about himself? What caused this problem of self-esteem in the first place? I think you must design some activities that will make the little boy feel more comfortable and happy with himself. Teach him to love himself. Teach him also to enjoy his own company. He will soon have tons of friends.

Cheers and happy Mylotting

Well that stinks. Is he involved in any extra curricular programs like church or sports? I know that my kids have to make new friends every time we move somewhere new but they are pretty outgoing and soon we are helping them select the best friends since they are so magnetic. I guess you could take him to the park to play and maybe to a popular place like McDonalds or Chick-Fil-A (if you have one) basically anyplace that has a play area or where kids can work out their jiggles.

i really want to help out here. i had the same problem when i was 10 because of some deaths in my family - i suffered from depression for years because of it and the only thing that helped was distracting myself with studying. perhaps your son has hobbies that could help

It can hurt when our children hurt. If a child has been raised in a secure and loving environment, we would expect them to be well-suited for the challenges of the world, but this is not always so.

When my daughter when to school, she was confronted with children who were inexplicably not nice. Thus, I had to explain some concepts of human personality which were before this alien to her existence.

I spoke to her of Shadenfrede, or someone who gets pleasure from another's misfortune or unhappiness. However, the word is not exactly my point. Shadenfrede does have a connotation of pleasure from another's unhappiness, but is passive. You happen to enjoy some misfortune befalling another. For example, if a child were abused by an alcoholic parent as a child, they may experience Shadenfrede upon watching said abuser suffer violent nausea and an inability to keep down solid foods. The thought being, "he gets what he deserves." This wasn't exactly my message.

I didn't discuss with her Sadism, which is more appropriate. When one enjoys pain they have inflicted on another. Sadism, however, has a connotation of adult matters which I didn't care to discuss.

In the end, I had to use my own words. I explained to my daughter that some people are unhappy and cannot express it. They look around at other people who are not unhappy. This makes them feel alone. They do not wish to be alone. So they find ways to make other people miserable. There are many forms that this could take, but it touches upon bullying, cliques, and tattletales.

For bullies, they physically pick on people with the hope of making them cry. I warned my daughter, it was best not to show emotion to bullies. If they can not make you visibly afraid or upset, they will move on to another target who provides them the emotional balm they seek.

For cliques, they can be essentially the same as a bully. They simply use social tools to cause disquiet. "So and so won't be your friend." Perhaps criticisms of one's appearance or the like. Much like a bully, they almost feed off of their victims becoming upset.

Tattletales are a case which required some careful explanation. Of course, if some kid is doing something which will cause them to get hurt or will destroy something, we want to be told of this. The tattletale is a different case. This individual waits.. looking around for an opportunity to get someone in trouble. They may even subtly goad or annoy other children in the hopes of getting them to react in a way they can label as 'misbehaving.' They then gleefully 'turn in' the wrongdoer and take delight in the resulting unhappiness.

The best advice I could give her in all these cases is to try not to show emotion. This is a particular challenge for her as she is an emotional girl. However, the bully loves to see his target cry. The clique enjoys seeing her target despondent over being excluded. And the tattletale enjoys watching their victim becoming upset over being punished. Learning self-control will serve to protect her.

In your case, if your son has only one other child he enjoys spending time with that that boy was mean to him, you'll have to figure out why. Generally, it is hard to justify allowing your child to spend time with a bully, clique, or tattletale situation. But if the other boy is generally a friend and someone your son likes to spend time with, perhaps you just need to provide supervision for their play date to avoid things getting out of hand.

I really feel for your boy and I have gone through some tough times as a young child to. I had problems with making my friends and keeping them. Some kids can be so mean and cruel. I think it might be a good idea and maybe open the possiblities of friends. For instance have a small party or sleep over and invite some of the kids so that he can interact. Then make up a few games for the children to play and have a few prizes. It will be fun for all the children and may make them relize they can have fun with him and want to comeover and play more. Which would raise his self esteem and world of friends. Maybe go to the park where other children like to play or go to the pool. There are tons of ways for him to interact with children. These are just some ideas for you.

I can understand the self esteem being low and needs to be rebuilt. First his own self worth needs to be built. Maybe it is time to give him some projects to do on his, own. As he accomplishes each one, find his major interests work those in more and more, with some that are not so interesting to build an all around knowledge of other things. Make sure there is plenty of compliments of accomplishment.

To become a bit more sociable, that will take more time in some cases. Take walks to parks, see what the churches offer for summer activities,get him involved. Just idea's I used with my own

I am a primary school teacher. I am a parent of three children. My youngest nephew is 9 years old. He is shy and is an elective mute. His confidence has grown a little over the last few years. His talking has increased with this.

I feel sorry for your son. He is young to be getting depressed. Some people are cruel in way they say. Your son is sensitive and he needs a soft caring sort of friend. Perhaps you could speak to his teacher. He or she could perhaps let him become friends with a suitable child. The friendly child might be of a different age to your son.

Self esteem can grow with praise and nice encounters with other children. I think that you could take your son out for some lovely days out. Then he might be happier. When you have a child over to play that is well behaved and kind your son might feel pleased.

Good luck.