What kind of mother can be jealouse on shes own doughter?
By icesmile
@icesmile (7160)
Romania
July 17, 2009 6:04am CST
I ll explain; my mother was a very young mother when i come in this earth.
She was only 15 years old. She was very beatiful, as woman, and all say that she was really as a queen.
Good, after years when i were teenage, she step by step start to show me that she really don t apreciate nothing what i can do.
She never show me that she is proud because i were the best in school,in hight school or in college, she never let me know that i can be pretty, all time she was like a big sister who all time imitate me. So, if i wear with short pants, she wear too, if i had long hair, she had too, if i go out with my friends when i were teenage, she come with me too. First time i was sure that she is my best friend.
But now, when she is old, happened same. All say that i have a great long hair. She told me that i must cut my hair, because i am mature and i don t need long hair. But i remember that she cut she hair to 50. If i make up. she want too, even now i think that is some later for this, i mean, if she want make up. must choice something very natureal, as i use too, she want red lips stick. If i buy something for my house, next day she are there to buy too. Is a competition, all time, i can say that in normal life this can be ok, but she try to imitate to much.
I want ask if you were or if you are in this kind of situation, and what do you think about this?
How i can make she to understand that i am shes doughter, not shes sister,and all ages have something propierly, what can be ok for me for she is not?
I am sure that she can t understand, if i say something she are very offenced. 



1 person likes this
5 responses
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
17 Jul 09
Hi, Ice!
You know, they say imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Maybe you could try to look at it that way. She admires you so much that she wants to be like you!
@icesmile (7160)
• Romania
17 Jul 09
Hi teacher, but is not normal..i must to want to be as she...not she as me...i am the doughter, i am mother for my kids, and they try to imitate what they like more in me...but why a mother want to be as shes doughter is? Any way, maybe she admire me, but she revenge sometimes is a drop of bad side too in all this...



1 person likes this
@cobrateacher (8432)
• United States
17 Jul 09
It is complicated, and a bit uncomfortable, but I'm sure it's harmless. She's sort of living through you. It's almost as if you're a rock star, and she's your groupie!
2 people like this
@icesmile (7160)
• Romania
17 Jul 09
I don t like to be a rock star i want to be just shes doughter who she admire me just because she love me...not like me. is copmplictaed, you right, many years i want understand this, seems that never i can t talk open with she about this....you know, seems that because all time people accord me to much attention she want same attention...but i give her all my attention...is complicated, maybe this come because my grandparents were my real parents, and she was to young to understand what a baby mean....
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@persona_touch (1701)
• United States
18 Jul 09
this is normal i see this all the time with one of the people i live by i don't know what to tell you if it realy bothers you then just talk to her, i don't know but the way you write it sounds like she is trying to get back the time she lost when she had to talk care of you she was 15 so that probly shoc her still i don't know but just think it could be worris the people i live by the mother is always talking crap about the girl and the girl have a good life and it sad cus when she vistes her some times the mother beats her up for no reson when she is druk.
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@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
ice, i just read this now. i guess its going to be difficult to change in so fast a time. am really hoping you get your desire of transforming her ways.
just think in the good light, you have a groovy mom and an older sister in one.
happy mylotting dear friend,
ann
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@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
10 Aug 09
A mother can sometimes be jealous of her own daughter, because the daughter may have opportunities growing up, that the mother did not have, and the mother may resent this. You mentioned yourself, that your mother was very young when she gave birth to you. If you are older than she was then, you have probably had opportunities in life that she did not have. There is nothing wrong with you haveing these opportunities, just that as humans people who did not have them, may resent this fact as the child they sacrificed their life for is growing up.
@pickwick (858)
• India
17 Jul 09
Hi Icesmile !Maybe you are the one who is feeling jealous?Whats wrong if your mom tries to imitate you?My mother was only 15 when I was born.I try my best to make her look good and dress her up so that she would look her best even now.My son does all he can to pamper me into believing that I am the best looking female in this world.The umbilical cord relation is such that there could be no jealousy but love in the relation.Think again for sometime before you draw such a conclusion.
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@icesmile (7160)
• Romania
17 Jul 09
Why do you think that i can be jealous on my mother? if i ask this question, i know what i say, be sure. Why a doughter can be jealous on she mother? of course that i try my best too, before i ask something, be sure that i try all, and my sons say same about me,and i say same about she, but before you can acusse me, think better, and imagine that you can be jealous on your mother...you can have reasons? i don t think so, but a mother can be when she saw that all don t admire she, because she is married, have a mature age, and admire shes little doughter. Just think in this, and think if is possible or not.

@tigeraunt (6326)
• Philippines
28 Jul 09
hello ice,
probably its not mother and daughter rivalry. you need to give her the benefit of the doubt.
what if she is feeling lonely because she know that she is no longer the same as before because she has aged? maybe she finds you very beautiful to look at, that is why she is imitating your fashion style?
if you think she is overdoing it, give her tips on how she should do a make up or what dress to wear. in fact, i was going to say help her. like do her make up. give her dress that you think will make her beauty come out too.
i guess you should be very careful with your words when you talk to her because she will be very sensitive.
i hope everything goes well with both of you.
ann
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