I couldn't tell my son I am proud of him :(
By writermom8
@writermom8 (913)
Philippines
August 11, 2009 1:59pm CST
My kids came home this afternoon with the news that their youngest brother, my good-natured little guy, finally blew his top and threw a punch on the kid who has been bullying him since first grade (he's now in the fourth grade).
My kids came home yesterday with the news that their youngest brother, my good-natured little guy, finally blew his top and threw a punch on the kid who has been bullying him since first grade (he's now in the fourth grade).
I asked what happened and he told me, "He and his buddies were calling me names again and daring me to fight back. So I did!"
My second son piped in, "I saw blood on his classmate's shirt!" To which their oldest brother said, "You did the right thing! Don't let them bully you!"
I was speechless for a few moments. I wanted to cheer and affirm that the other kid deserved what he got after all those name-calling, bag kicking, dirt throwing and other nasty things he and his cohorts have done to my son all these years. But ever the peacemaker mom, I asked, "Why didn't you tell your teacher Son?"
My little man frustratedly replied, "But mom, I kept telling her and she won't listen to me! She doesn't pay us any attention when we come to her about bullies!" So I assume he had to do what he had to do. Still, I couldn't come right out and say, "I'm glad you threw that punch!"
Ugh, why are there teachers who don't care enough?! I asked if there were any notes in his communication notebook if I need to see the principal or anything. None! What's happening with the school system today??? I guess I have to call the guidance counselor or pay a visit to the school later today.
Hmmm ... I wonder what hubby would say when he gets home ....
5 responses
@eileenleyva (27555)
• Philippines
13 Aug 09
Wow! Tough being a mom, huh! I had been in situations when my daughters would also tell me about how bad they feel because some classmates are just nasty. I always warned my daughters to exercise proper decorum and discipline. So they would always tell their teachers all to naught. When I gave them permission to fight their fight and I would handle the guidance and the ethics committee, my children felt better. I had been summoned a few times by the school authorities and related the misdemeanors my daughters' had been caught with. I simply told them that I put them in school to be educated. Punish my children according to the rules and regulations of the school. But I want a fair treatment. What is the situation? What had the teachers done? Had my daughters been deprived of their right to a wholesome learning environment. Or is the principal as responsible to the act my daughters' had committed? If I were you, I'd give the boy a good hug. I would tell him that if there is a counter punch, duck! Then I'd be in school first thing the following day admonishing the educators for not taking good care of my boy.
@writermom8 (913)
• Philippines
14 Aug 09
"I would tell him that if there is a counter punch, duck!" LOL Thank you for that funny but oh, so sensible, advice :)
Yes, I have fought many a battle already with my older kids when they had their share of bullying when they were younger. I was thankful during those times because the school's guidance counselor was very supportive and encouraging of my kids. Unfortunately, this good woman has passed away just last month.
So I'm off to talk to the new GC and principal early next week. I hope they are as reasonable to talk to as the old GC.
1 person likes this
@eileenleyva (27555)
• Philippines
18 Aug 09
Great! I am sure our children will feel better if we are on their side. Give those bullies a good dose of their own medicine.
@mrbranan (1012)
• United States
14 Aug 09
I have three children and my middle child takes only a little before she blows. When she was in the seventh grade a little girl had been picking on her calling her names one day and she came home very upset telling me that the girl called her a name I will not repeate and she told me that she didnt know what to do but she wasn't going to take anymore. The very next day I was at the school and I talked with the guidance and explained to them what was going on and told them if nothing changed she would take care of it her self and she did. I didn't tell her I was proud of her however I did tell her when you try other methods and you can't het any results you do what is nessasary.
@writermom8 (913)
• Philippines
14 Aug 09
Yes, it will always boil down to that. You gotta do what you gotta do when all else seem to fail.
I'm glad your little girl stood up for herself :)
@stephwrites (275)
• United States
12 Aug 09
wow, I would be torn too. You don't want them to be bullied but you don't want them to resort to violence. My son was attacked by anotehr student twice this past year but thankfully, there were witnesses and the other kid got suspended. I would definitely go to the teacher and/or the principal about it. Our school is good about not lettng anyone get bullied but it sounds like this teacher is not. You may have taken care of this already, But good luck to ya!
@dorannmwin (36392)
• United States
11 Aug 09
Well, I'm proud of your son for standing up for himself. I can't say that I would ever advocate fighting in kids, but there are just some points where people (and more specifically) reach the breaking point.
What I can't believe is that the teacher didn't send the kids to the principal's office or send a note home to the parents or anything like that because as the parent of your son, you deserve to know what is going on at school. You definitely need to get in touch with the school.
@writermom8 (913)
• Philippines
14 Aug 09
Thank you for the affirmation dorannmwin. Yeah, I know exactly what you mean about being torn between not wanting your kid to fight but not wanting him to remain bullied forever too.
I didn't get any note. I asked my son what his teacher did after the fiasco. He said, "She just told me next time to ignore him." Duh? No lecturing at all about why bullying is bad and why aggression is not a proper response :(
I'm due to go to the school next week. Much as I wanted to go the soonest time possible, I have no one to leave my special child with at home :(
@virusxtreme24 (805)
•
11 Aug 09
Tell him nice job on defending himself, but then tell him not to go so far next time. If the teacher or administration wouldn't listen to him, it's time to stand up for yourself.
@writermom8 (913)
• Philippines
14 Aug 09
Thank you. A friend of mine told me just today that I should tell my kids the following reminders:
1st offense - warn your classmate that you are telling the teacher
2nd offense - tell the teacher
3rd offense - tell the teacher again
4th offense - if the teacher still doesn't do anything, do what you can to defend yourself and i'll support you all the way when you get called to the principal's office
Sounds just about fair :)
