Let's be open-minded

As to clear the confusion, from about 7 to 15 I was sexually abused by various people one of which being my dad.

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Okay, not a judgment call here, but a simple observation. If you can't talk about it, obviously there's still a considerable amount of pain and suppressed feeling and thoughts there... So ultimately, while you are doing the best you can for yourself at this time, I do cautiously suggest that perhaps you're not yet able to be completely honest/or understanding with yourself--in regards to totally accepting yourself (i.e. Loving yourself and others as well) I mean.

Don't let that sound like a condemnation--it's not--simply a caution. With suppression of any kind, there are feelings and identity issues, that we may only be aware of on subconscious levels, but if they were to reach our conscious--they could on one hand be entirely traumatic if revealed incorrectly, or completely liberating--either way, your evaluation of yourself and your beliefs--are somewhat suspect until you can confront that part of yourself (completely) and trust someone else (completely).

Best of everything to you,
Rev. David A. Reedy...

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We have a very stable relationship, I mean we've been together for about two years now. I know that she is what I want.

But the funny thing is, as much as I trust her I still haven't opened up to her about the whole situation. She knows bits and pieces. It's not that I don't trust her with the situation, it's just that I don't know how to begin to open up about it. I also know that if I were to go to a therapist I know it would take me quite sometime to even start to tell them what happened. I wouldn't trust them and I wouldn't want to tell a complete stranger about my past.

I allow this question to be open-ended because I do want to dig deep into a person's mind and find out what they really think of a person's choice of sexuality. I like everything that you had to say, and I'm still not quite sure how to respond to it but what I can say is that yes, I am being true to myself and I do accept myself.

His comments just took me by surprise and I think that's what hurt. But I have to know in my heart that not everyone is going to accept me for me, and I have to be okay with that, and not let it get to me.

Thanks for your input:)

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Ironically, "Ladybug" you are the only one dishing out hate, here. Second,I have not made any judgement call of "right" or "wrong"--you are reading into this, based on your own insecurities and your self-righteous point of view.

See, just how "open-minded" are you being? You are not. You've twisted my words whilst simultaneously you also cozy up to the no doubt hurting individual who posted this.

You see, I have no debate with her, at all, and have only re-assured that as long as she is certain that she is true to herself and Loving herself, then that is the best that it can be--aah, but you "Ladybug" must form an alliance against my obvious threat. Sexuality, like ALL human behaviours is a complex mixture of biology, choice, script/subconscious personality formation and so much more. I lumped it with those other categories (that you have since tried to use to demonize me with) only because their is incredible evidence of all of those factors having genetics largely influence them--yet, we say those people has a choice to do this, that, or the other--but you using pseudo-science and selective findings, yourself, asserted that A)something was PROVEN--which science does not do and B)have not yourself read the findings, let me throw you some name, try Hansen, or try the findings that Golombak & Tasker suppressed evidence in their studies, just for starters, or try reading Berne, Gorman, or Gaylin--if you want to actually read MD's/Psy.D's/and Ph.D's on the matter.

Now let's cut to the chase. I'll gladly and willfully apologize for my initial and obviously inflammatory remarks made directed toward your presentation of "facts"--but that's all it was, a minor reminder that science does not PROVE anything while calling itself science. I Love, by the way, how you came back and reiterated my points about sexuality being a complex mixture of things in a manner to suggest that you had said it and that I was something else altogether. I'll even, if she requests it, gladly apologize to the poster for this conflict--BUT, she did request open-mindedness--and look at how quick you are to label and demonize. I have no agenda and I have no lies to tell here--afterall I use my real name, am comfortable with myself, and for that matter have friends, families, and associates of all walks of life--but I won't let any of them (and I'd expect of them to do the same to me)to declare that this/that/or the other is scientific fact, when it is not, period.

Ashley, whatever comes out of this, I will not say "please listen to me" or "don't listen to them." However, I hope you know, that I have no intentions and no game set as another would suggest. My beliefs are antagonistic to your own, I will admit that, but as a child, I too, endured some s**t that is pretty tough to deal with--but I have, and I've grown stronger for it, that aside, I don't want you to believe for one second that I judge you, or think anything less of you, or anything like that.

Here's the most important kicker of what I'm saying here and now, and I know on some level you already know this, and it includes me as well--and anyone else who, for whatever their intentions, would speak sweetly to you. Beware anyone who tells you what you want to hear. Take into consideration everything that everyone tells you, but don't take it to heart. I know you already know this, but first and foremost you must simply Love yourself, and that doesn't necessarily entail rationalizing/encouraging or damning any part of yourself--it means more or less, learning to look at life objectively, recognizing that most of it is an illusion, and that no matter what any voice may tell you, including your own!--it's probably quite off the mark.

The fact is, you're questioning things. And there are camps, polarized and extreme on "both*" (*Both because people will "polarize" to "sides" on things, without the understanding that everything, regardless of what it is, has infinite angles and attributes to it) sides of things who will demand of you take a side or identify with one or the other, et cetera. Now then, why are you questioning these things--that is the most important aspect, and consider what it is you're looking for--are you looking to be able to create a new thesis from the synthesis of multiple ideas, thus hearing ideas you like and do not like and judging them for their merit, or are you, what is too often the norm for people, in search of people to tell you only what you want to hear? That's a rhetorical question for you to consider.

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That's a lot of hate you're still spouting.
I pray you overcome it.

Speaking of "rights"...
http://www.washingtontimes.com/news/2007/jun/10/20070610-111445-6957r/

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Thank you,
for so eloquently arguing my own points for me.

As compelling an argument as your one sentence is, do be so kind: which of YOUR points did I illustrate for you?

I believe I just debunked all of them.

Do you really believe yourself when you talk?

It wasn't my father it was my friend's father. Thanks for your response:)

It's not been "PROVEN" anyone is born in any way! It's been revealed, for example, that the APA and the AMA have been covering up findings that are not politically correct. Environment, cognition, trauma, biology, desires, actions, pleasures, pains, "triggers", hormones, early experiences--all of these contribute to sexuality--this is not a matter of "right" or "wrong" that I'm discussing here--but facts are facts--and, first off, in science, nothing is ever "proven", second, as I've stated, a lot of studies involving social influences and cognition, et cetera that have made unpopular findings inconsistent with political expediency have been oppressed--and some of these studies were recently unearthed.

Ashley, my recommendation is to ignore most of what reverand david reedy has to say.

It is ridiculous, isn't it, that the older generation is so squeamish when it comes to something that has been around for eons.

The funny part, those who complain about homosexuality seldom complain when watching two girls kiss girls, as long as it is for their viewing pleasure, and not the girls'. It's not just hypocritical, it's just cruel.

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I have often thought it may have been omitted, for whatever reason. I mean, the only way I can analogize it is to think about how much of the history we were taught has ommissions in it.

Like, for instance, most recently, 9/11. The US government tells us that it was done by several terrorists, with the hijackers they claim did it still proven to be alive. Someone is lying to us, currently, it could be that someone, perhaps our government, manipulated certain organized religions and their teaching in the past.

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Does god also damn those who CHOOSE to use birth control, seeing, as how, marriage is all about reproduction, according to your god. If a hetero couple engages in sodomy, or uses condoms, or uses birth control or spermicides, do they go against god's almight opinion? And my personal fave, when someone ejaculates into one's mouth, hetero as they are, wasting one million chances at fertilization that god had given only heteros, is that against his word?

I am in an interesting conversation in another thread with someone about asexuality, and creatures who have "virgin birth". Are they against god's word, too, since they are not mating a la adam and eve?

Hermaphrodytes are clearly born that way. Are they going to burn?

Your "argument" or statement that god's opinion is that you are doing wrong by being born a homosexual is WEAK!

And I could crush you with pages of websites miles long proving you wrong, if you are up for it?

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David - Blah to most of what you said, and, in fifteen more posts, I will use the eye-rolling emoticon.

The religious right's winning argument is, "God made Adam and Eve, not Adam and Steve. Nanner nanner." "God made man and woman to procreate, hence, lets have 18 children."

On this earth, there are asexual creatures, and others that reproduce by way of parthenogenisis (does not require eggs to be fertilized). I don't think it was god's intention for six and a half billion people fighting for the survival of the fittest, which is probably why he created homosexuality. We are far too overpopulated and under-resourced.

You said I proved your point, because I pointed out the hypocrisy - you say that makes me a hater. I beg to differ - I am just pointing out solid fact. While you are heehawing about a man who floats in the clouds.

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