One Phone Call that Bring me To the Past, what am I supposed to do?

hi, kevchua..
thank's a lot. I think he does feel lonely. wWell, he called me at night time my time because the time difference too. He lives on the other side of the world, 12,000 miles from where I live right now. My hubby knows him too. 2 months before our wedding 10 yrs ago, he's also busy helping my family.
I did try a long time ago, to introduce him with some girl. And it's not like he's totally alone, he's dating on and off too the last 10 years. Sometimes when I ask him, when he's gonna invite me to his wedding, he just laughed and again said "haven't found the right one".
I just don't want to throw away 20 yrs worth of friendship.
Question: is it really my "job" to help him let go of me?

ibuemma, unless you want him to live a miserable life just thinking hopelessly about you, i suggest you do it..

Hi ibuemma, my guess is that he's probably somewhere in Asia perhaps in Indonesia or Malaysia, right?:) well, when I said it's your "job", I'm not accusing or blaming you of anything, but reality is that he has to know that he can't "use" you all the time. I mean, he may not have any bad intentions. Still, he's in a way disturbing you. The fact that he said that he's not married because of you (and is still single) gives me the impression that he's still thinking of you maybe as more than a friend. I could be wrong, but I'm saying this in a my own perspective. Whatever it is, he has to let go the thought of thinking of you as a special person. Since you and him have been best friends for a long time, I believe you're the best person for this "job". Well, you could choose to not to do anything about it, though. I don't want both your friendship to suffer later.

Anyway, it's my suggestion; I don't have the right to impose. Think about it and hope things will work out fine:)

He's in Indonesia, you guess it right, there's where I come from and grew up.
I just thought too, when I just get married, that time and distance supposed to help him getting over with. Gosh, I don't even had any clue . He's the one get so happy when I get married.

That's interesting, what will I do or even if I want to turn back the time. I don't think I will change anything. All this year I figured that we both get over the feeling, at least I know I did get over it, and just the friendship that's left. I never suspected that he keep it this long.
Darn!
Since he's so far away, I might ask my brother to find him somebody. Best thing I can do.
I don't think he will kill himself either, oo, please don't, I will carry guilty feeling even worse.

You'll get over your guilt soon. just help him.

Thank's Lethran, i know you are tired and I appreciate your time to give me some view. Have a good night for you!

That's what he told me, he's happy as long as I am happy, and it's just time according to him that he want to be completely honest, instead dodging all my question about his girlfriend. My husband and I doing good. Has it's ups and down like other marriage. I don't think I can cut him off as a friend. It's just hard for me to digest the news.

He's really respect my realtionship with my hubby. Like I said, couple times my marriage kind of in trouble back 5 years ago, he's the one encourage me to stay with my hubby. My hubby even like to have him as a friend.

Question about the last 20 yrs? I met him just about 20 yrs ago. We dated on and off, and when we were off, I dated another guy, and he did date another girl. 10 yrs ago, I got married with my present hubby. I got to move out of Indonesia and follow my hubby to US. We are still communicating, and sometime he told me that he got a date. But you probably right he start feeling lonely.

Long distance relations never last. Since you have moved to US and staying there for the last ten years, you do not know what changes would have happened to him.So it is better you stay back with your present husband in USA.