does it bother you when someone tells you the understand when they don't

Yes, it does bother me! I get very aggravated and then I get a grip and come up with something outrageous to see if they still pull the "I understand" crap. I also have gotten to the point that I simply look at them in the eye and state that they have no idea how I feel, that they don't live in my body, feel my pain, pay my bills or live my life. Until they can do that they need to listen and give me suitable input rather than discount me by saying "I understand how you feel". It works a lot of the time, and those people that get upset and don't bother to talk to me anymore weren't good friends to start with.

The pople who will understand you are the ones who experienced the same feelings as you did. People can only "empathatize" and say that they "understand". That means they have an idea of what you are going through.

Sorry to hear that Psychotaz.I am guilty for your accuse cause i tell the people i comfort that i know how it feels but literally, i don't. I think people use this so that they can comfort the people who have problems. That they have someone who can understand and accept them. But i guess it isn't effective at all to most of the people like yourself. I think it will be better if we kept silent and just hear your story. So the best thing for a person to talk to would be someone who also had the same situation as yourself so that you could really empathize each other.