Organizing an autistic third grader
By TheRealDawn
@dawnald (85137)
Shingle Springs, California
September 9, 2009 11:34am CST
Thank goodness the girls are on top of their homework and other paperwork, because getting Cary organized seems like a full time job sometimes.
Last night Richard started him on his homework, the spelling. The he asked me if spelling is all he has. Well silly me, I thought he had checked the planner. I looked at it the day before, saw spelling was all by itself one day, just assumed he was doing the spelling on the right day. Well yesterday was math, today was spelling. He never looked at the dang planner before he started on it.
New rule - whoever starts the homework is responsible for checking the planner and making sure they know what is supposed to be worked on that day (actually I thought that WAS the rule). Or maybe I should just check it every day myself. :-)
But the larger problem is Cary and how to get him to take responsibility for his own stuff. If somebody doesn't make him start the homework and tell him which one to do, it doesn't happen. He knows the planner says what homework is due on what day. And then we do it, we make sure it's in his backpack and somehow it doesn't get turned in. It's not always homework. This morning I found his book order that was due last Thursday on the floor of the car.
His sister is the same age and she was able to (mostly) stay on top of these things. Granted, his sister doesn't have autism.
So I wonder how much to make allowances for the autism and how much to hold him responsible for. For now I guess we're just going to have to go over it with him over and over again until he (hopefully) "gets" the routine...
1 person likes this
8 responses
@good2go2001 (915)
• United States
11 Sep 09
I can totally relate to this. I have 6 children 3 with autism. The children with austim are 11 , 12 and 21. It is a huge challenge at our house with home work. The 11 year old loves school and wants to please so home gets done right on time and turned in on time. The 12 year old son is the one i have problems with....starting homework, remembering, staying on task, focusing issues , organization issues! The whole 9 yards with him. School just started here so one of the biggest things is getting back into a schedule. Last year we used a picture cue....picture symbol for homework about 3 inches by 3 inches velcored it to the fridge and he couldnt remove it until he had completed all homework and i looked it over. He really wanted to take his sign off the fridge because that was a cue to him that he had free time after it was off. Im not sure the age of your son but ive had great sucsess with PECS (picture Exchange Communitation System) Ive been very fortunate that my children with autsim are all verbal but the PECS really help them to stay forcused on completing taskes and routines.
@GardenGerty (169448)
• United States
13 Sep 09
I am not familiar with that program, but any additional form of communication, like PECS or sign language just goes that much further towards helping in your situation. When we had inservices on Autism, we were taught that primarily it was a disorder of communication.
1 person likes this
@good2go2001 (915)
• United States
11 Sep 09
If you have any questions about pecs feel free to message me and i can find you the links to learn more about it. Have a great day
2 people like this
@GardenGerty (169448)
• United States
13 Sep 09
What does the school say your role should be? Are there any modifications for him because he is autistic? I think if you get the papers into the bookbag, he or someone at school SHOULD be able to check the bag and get them out. I know he needs a lot of structure. You guys are great to be helping him so much.
1 person likes this
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
13 Sep 09
we may have to request that, but I'm going to try repetition for a bit first and then we shall see...
@cloudwatcher (6861)
• Australia
9 Sep 09
I have helped a friend with her autistic son for a number of years. I am sure there are differences in autistic children, but with her son, it was essential to stick to a routine. He could not stand change of any sort. While he loved coming to my house, if his mother wanted to make an unplanned stop to see me, he went berserk.
Being a highly organised person myself I believe most children respond well to a routine - not a hard core, dictator-type routine which allows no fun or leeway, but a systematic way of doing things. When this is followed, things are done more quickly and efficiently and allows more time for leisure.
I don't suppose this helps you or answers your question, but if Cary was able to be organised on arrival home, things might go more smoothly.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Sep 09
I have no control over the arrival home, but I am going to suggest to Richard that he and Cary read what's in the planner together and that he have Cary find the homework for the day instead of us telling him what his homework is.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Sep 09
That is very true. My son is pretty high functional, so we expect more from him than from somebody who's non verbal, for example.
@msfrancisco9369 (10002)
• Boston, Massachusetts
10 Sep 09
hi dawnald,
per my experience having 2 sons with autism you really have to patient. maximum tolerance for your patience. before they live with it and really make it as a routine you have to repeat the process on and on. please don't be frustrated you have a big role to take in making him organize. just stand by him and never give up. in time you will be amaze of how youo created an impact on him as it relates to being organize and having that patient to accomplish something.
have someone to debrief and process with-- a support partner or group. it will really help.
god bless and i know you and your kid can make it.
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
10 Sep 09
We're going to make him read the entry in the planner and find the homework that goes with it before we start working with him. If we do it every day, hopefully by June he'll get it. lol
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
9 Sep 09
Oh I hope so. Maybe instead of us reading the planner, we should make him read it and tell us which homework goes with today's entry...
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
9 Sep 09
I'm sorry cary has this problem. I have no experience w/a child w/autism except i use to cut a friend's grandson that had it. We just have to love our kids no matter how they try our patience & they all do at times even when they are grown, lol.
