Crazy people wanting to talk to you ...

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I sometimes later think of possible conversations with such people. Like the street preacher who started screaming at me from behind. I just kept walking and never looked back, walking uncomfortably fast for almost half a block while she followed, ranting and fuming, possibly because I was playing deaf and not acknowledging her presence. I fantasize me quickly turning around and screaming "OUT UN-CLEAN SPIRIT, IN THE NAME OF THE FATHER AND THE SON AND THE HOLY GHOST! AND RETURN NO MORE!" Of course most likely that would cause more problems than solve. Now for the most recent incident: "I thought you were a woman." I kept walking, but I looked at him instinctively since he did direct that statement to me, and being beside me at the time he could see my beard. "I thought you were a woman," he repeated. I turned forward, saying nothing. "I said I thought you were a woman." All right, it is time to walk faster to the light rail station just ahead where there are security personnel. I heard no more from him. Really, though, what would a proper response to such a statement be? Tonight I imagined the conversation going, (starting with myself) "What do you want?" "I was talking to you." "Yes, which is why I was ignoring you. A standard greeting to a stranger is 'Hello,' or 'Good evening,' perhaps with 'Nice weather we are having,' or 'How about them 49er's? .... ' (a football team) "Each of those comments have a proper response. What would the proper response be to what you just said to me three times?" "You still look like a woman from behind." (yes, sometimes I like to torture myself) I see several options from here. Let's start with the most helpful. "I'm sorry, did you forget your medication? There's people at the light rail stop who can get help ..." Most likely, I would say something like, "No, I'm not going to alter my gender according to your delusions. Find some other pervert for your particular needs." I have a more crazy version that is my favorite, but I'd probably be banned ...