raising kids...

If any parent simply gives a child anything that child wants then all you are going to end up with is a spoiled little brat who is selfish and its as simple as that.
You are right, kids should work for what they want and learn a good work ethic as early as they can, it will serve them well in later life.
Also, the spoiled kids of today are the ones most likely to fail tomorrow,
They need to be brought up with guidelines and rules which they must adhere to, they must learn to respect everything arouind them,
Asking a child to work for what it wants is excellent parenting, rather than just giving into a kid to shut it up.

I have a 3 year old daughter and with that in mind. I wouldnt allow her to get anything and everything she wanted if she wasnt doing well in school etc.
Why would anyone deserve a reward without earning it. If my daughter is naughty then wants something after then she does not get anything that she want (obviously shes allowed food etc _ i dont want child services after me lol)

but its like anything in life you have to work hard for what you want

Any parent that thinks that a child should get what they want despite their behaviour needs to reevaluate their parenting strategy as that child will grow up with the same expectations as an adult and more likely lead them into sociopathic adults.

Nope they should not. That is a big problem with kids these days. They all seem to think they are just entitled to stuff without having to do anything for it. I don't think if kids don't do chores or do well in school that they should get stuff. Of course they should get the basics, food and clothes and all that, but the special things should be earned. If my my kids want to buy a video game or something like that they use their birthday money, Christmas money, or allowance, that they have to earn, if they don't do their chores they don't get paid. My kids do very well in school too so once in a while my husband and I will buy them something or give them a treat to surprise them. But they deserve it because they are good kids, and deserve an occasional surprise.

I do agree with you.
I have a son, is 20 months old,but i never spoiled him. Never give him too much. And i already teach him early that not all, he wanted he can get. He needs to wait and learn that not all things are easy to get. I don't want him to grow spoiled and miserable.
Happy myLoting.

I´m old fashioned, saraines. When I was a kid, presents were for birthdays and Christmas. Nothing else. We did have a minimal allowance with which we could buy ourselves a popsicle or save it to buy something bigger with a lot of effort.
Now my grandchildren get whatever they please and as it´s not important, they don´t take care of their clothes, toys or books. They know mom will buy another one.
Fortunatly, in spite a everything, they are turning out ok. But I remember a few years ago that I told my eldest grandaughter that she was lucky not to have me as her mother. She asked why and I said that if a child of mine had answered me as she answered her momma, she would get such a slap that I wouldn´t leave a tooth in her mouth. That was an exageration, of course, but I did give my two daughters a couple of spankings in their butts and they don´t look as if I had injured them mentally forever. In fact, we are a very close family and my both daughters come to me when they have a problem.
I think that this family harrassment is going too far and children don´t learn that there are limits. My grandchildren love me, but they don´t do at my home what they do at theirs. Even their language is more polished at my home.

absolutely not, They should work to earn things because that teaches them how in this life you have to work for what you have unless you were born with a silver spoon in your mouth

Raising kids are very worrying for many parents. especially in the nuclear family. many parents often give their kids what they want to play and what to eat. As a matter of fact, spoiling the kids too much is really bad for their characers. I was born in a poor family and had a very hard childhood.This make me have a strong character in my life. so the parents should learn how to be the first teachers for their kids before they are 13 years old. During the period, it's very important for the kids to set up their own personality. And what kind of personality will influence their whole lives in the future. I am a one-year old son's mother. And i keep updating myself to be the good guide of my son and to be a right teacher too.happy to talk about this topic and happy mylotting!

Hi saraines!
I definitely agree with you! I didn't hand everything over to my children, whether they deserved it or not. I believe it's bad parenting to do so and even if I had all the money in the world, I still wouldn't do it. Luckily, my grandchildren have parents who feel the same way.
Problems arose for a short while when my children were teenagers, as they saw many of their friends getting whatever they wanted. I think many parents do it, as they'd rather pay their children off, than actually spend time parenting them--as that requires time and it's hard work. I took my children aside and told them that they would always value what they worked to achieve, rather than be like their friends who would never learn to appreciate anything. And they will have a much better picture of themselves and more self-esteem. Both of my children are grown now and they both have thanked me for teaching them those valuable lessons.

I don't have a child and I am not married but I help take care of a nephew. he's been living with us since he was 3 years old.
His father comes home every week and sometimes I don't get it because the father sometimes or most of the time gives in to the child's demands. And my nephew is raised to follow rules, do chores and everything expected of him as a kid. My mom was the moving force and now thst my mom's gone everyone in the house pitches in as hard as we can to help.
My friends would often say that I am more a mom than they are and they have kids. Why? because I go to PTAs, I help in the assignments, I cook, I go to market, I scold, I take him to the doctor, etc.
And with these, I don't want to have kids on my own, it's so tiring. LOL