And the trip begins................
By Sparks
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
Regina, Saskatchewan
September 29, 2009 11:16am CST
5:00 am. Up with the sun only to find I'm out of coffee. NOT a good start to the day.
6:00 am. Showered, powdered, sanitized and deodorized. What to wear? Hubs absolutely refuses to let me fly naked. Bummer!
7:00 am. Luggage loaded in the truck, dog in the back, hubs at the wheel and we're on the road to the airport. Wait! Stop! I forgot my shoes! Really! Still wearing my slippers.............DUH!
8:00 am. At the airport at last. Hubs pissed cause of the turn around and my dog is crying like a baby. She knows I'm leaving her....
9:00 am. Going through security before boarding. Now it gets interesting. I put my carry on in a tray, my cameras in another, my purse in another and my coat and shoes in another. I walk through and hurrah, no alarms go off. This makes the security person frown. She steps up to me and says, "Ma'am, due to (insert gov't dept. of choice) regulations we are required to spot 'pat down' random people. You have been randomly chosen for a pat down." All I'm wearing at this point is my slacks, underpants and a loose blouse; how much can I be hiding? I stretch my arms out from my sides and she steps close to me and..........wait for it.........grabs my boobs!!!!! I go rigid with shock for a second, then lick my lips and give her a wink! She stepped back very quickly and the rest of the 'pat down' barely registered on my skin. LOL
I retrieved my belongings and go blithely off along the red carpet to my loading zone. Wait! Stop! Damn it all I've forgotten my shoes AGAIN! Back to security and there's my erstwhile lady friend, trying to remove the heels from my shoes! I raised a naked foot and put it on her thigh and started to undo the top button of my blouse. She couldn't give me my shoes back fast enough! I'm sure some security camera somewhere is saving that piece of tape for the Christmas party! ROFL
The flight wasn't crowded and my seat was right behind the cockpit, so I was privy to the conversations of the two stewardesses. Wowza! That's a whole other story!
When was the last time you were patted down for security reasons? Did you wink? lol
7 people like this
18 responses
@dawnald (85137)
• Shingle Springs, California
29 Sep 09
no you did not...
did you?
lmao
Of all things, I was never selected for a pat down, but 4 years ago I flew up to collect my daughter who was staying with her grandmother. When we flew back down, they selected HER for a pat down. An 8 year old girl? Come on, get real! She would have been mortified, but fortunately they saw my point and I didn't have to kill anybody and hide them in the x-ray machine.
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Sep 09
I hadn't had any coffee that morning remember? So yeah I did, and she's lucky that's ALL I did! LOL
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Sep 09
Well at least have a tall hot mug of coffee in your hand and be prepared to give it up! LOL
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Sep 09
It was either play with her head or smack her upside it! LOL NEVER piss off the Sparks before she's had her coffee! ROFL
3 people like this
@KrazyKlingon (5005)
• United States
29 Sep 09
I haven't been patted down, but at one time, I had to pat people down before letting them pass into this gathering area. Anyway, I patted people down with my fingertips. No winks, but a lot of jumpy people.
Did that give you a good tickle? 
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Sep 09
Giggle, giggle..............................ROFL
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Sep 09
Start with the first? LOL
Thanks for the welcome home.
Nudge, nudge..............
2 people like this
@Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
29 Sep 09
oh my g. sparky she didn't try to unscrew your heel of your'shoe wow ,I would love to have seen you and your naked foot on her thigh.he he he. you are still our sparky.lol Oh yes I can'imagine that their christmas party would love that bit on the tape,
'oh yes the stewardesses and their conversation, tell us
more. I have never been patted down for security as the last'time I flew was way before the 9/11 episode and there was barely any security then,
3 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Sep 09
My hubs had just repaired those heels before I left, so no way was I gonna let her mess with them. I had the hubs put a penny inside each one for luck before he put the new bottom on and I think she was after the money! LOL
1 person likes this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Sep 09
I could help you with that dangerous look thing if you'd like...................just sayin'! LOL
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
2 Oct 09
I hardly ever wear a belt with a buckle, and I thought not wearing a bra (like I even need one! LOL) would keep the alarms from going off, but trust fate to choose me for a pat down! LOL It really was funny.
@MsTickle (25180)
• Australia
4 Oct 09
You are so quick thinking. I would be so uber embarrassed that a clever reaction would be beyond me.
And I'm thinking there is a reason you keep forgetting your shoes...for some reason, I'm feeling sorry for your shoes. LOL.
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
4 Oct 09
Oh no Tickle, be HAPPY for my shoes. Apparently I'm really neglectful of them and they tend to get lost! LOL
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
2 Oct 09
Well I'm not exactly Miss America material either Elic, but I'm convinced I have a neon sign on my forehead that flashes "Do it. I dare ya!" LOL
1 person likes this
@zed_k4 (17589)
• Singapore
30 Sep 09
Hiya Sparks; it's certainly great to hear from you in the lot once more. I hope you have a safe and fun journey throughout. Remember those lovely pictures, aite, lol..
My experience with airport security perhaps would be the recent ones; because I was not aware of the allowable ml bottled shampoos, soaps and whatnot; so I brought this bottle of something for the hair and it was not allowed.
It was big, that's why, LOL. If I had known, I'll fly naked again for sure. Actually I brought minimal stuffs; just that all those toiletries which weren't allowed.
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
30 Sep 09
I put all my toiletries in the bag that goes underneath the plane. They get xrayed but not searched..........
Handsome, I emailed you some pics the other day. I resent them just now after reading this response in my email. I hope you get them. I've rolls of 35mm to
get developed but that won't happen until the hubs is home for his days off, but will send you some of those when I get them. Email me your address.............
1 person likes this
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
2 Oct 09
Well then! I am sure that is definitely something that is going to be talked about for awhile! Sounds like you had a good trip to the airport, a funny little thing at the airport, and well was your flight okay?
Me + the idea of planes = NO!
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
2 Oct 09
The plane literally had it's up and down moments! LOL I wanted to strangle the pilot at times though. Every time he banked too hard to the right, I lost my book and cd player. Pain in the butt! Don't blame you for not being a frequent flyer! LOL
2 people like this
@SomeCowgirl (32189)
• United States
4 Oct 09
yowza, that'd definitely make an irritated passenger! lol!
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
29 Sep 09
LOL, U CRAZY GIRL, u are a trip yourself. I don't know how u think to do the things u do. I know hubs hads got to be a real good guy.
. to answe your question , no, i have never been patted down. I guess when she grabbed my boobs i would have probably slapped het & been carted off to jail. Wouldn't ANYONE but u would have thought of winking at her. Great discussion, Sparks. Your trip didn't dull u abit, thanks heavens.
. to answe your question , no, i have never been patted down. I guess when she grabbed my boobs i would have probably slapped het & been carted off to jail. Wouldn't ANYONE but u would have thought of winking at her. Great discussion, Sparks. Your trip didn't dull u abit, thanks heavens. 2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
2 Oct 09
If anything Jo, my trip revved me up in creative ways! LOL
Oh, and you're not the first person to tell me I'm a trip myself! ROFL I had to laugh out loud when I read that! Good thinking!
1 person likes this
@ANTIQUELADY (36440)
• United States
2 Oct 09
It is a pleasure to have u for a friend, Sparks.
1 person likes this
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
30 Sep 09
Hey sparks! Only YOU! I am still lmao! I don't know! I went
through the TSA without a hitch when I went to FLA! No pat
downs, nothing! Except the annoying glare from one of the
TSA guys who kept looking at my photo ID and then at me and
back again and wanting to tell me how the photo didn't exactly
look like me, but didn't dare! (It was my same photo from
18 years ago!) (And yes, I am getting my new photo changed
next week!) Shhhhsh! Anyway, that is the funniest story ever!
And you forgot your shoes again! I grabbed my stuff so fast
out of those stupid bins! I hated all that crap! And you have
to remember I was leaving from Laguadia Airport in NY where
they have the strictest rules anywhere and rightly so! But,
your story is a winner! Nice going Sparks! I'm sure you will
be remember by that Agent forever!
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
2 Oct 09
I'd REALLY like to get an invite to their Christmas party.................ROFL
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
30 Sep 09
She grabbed your boobs??!! That would have been enough to make me jump! I don’t know if I could have just given her a wink, I probably would have asked her if she needed help with any thing else and moved on. I am not sure what I would have done to stop her from wrecking my shoes though.
I have set the alarms off before and so did my little daughter but we never got patted down we just got told to remove items from our persons one by one until the alarm stopped going off, can’t say they ever grabbed my boobs...
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
2 Oct 09
I'll bet if I'd set the alarms off I never would have gotten patted down. But I left my underwire bra off on purpose so that the alarms wouldn't go off. So go figure.......I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't! LOL Story of my life!
2 people like this
@paula27661 (15811)
• Australia
3 Oct 09
I didn't know that about underwire bras, interesting, I'll make sure I don't wear one next time I travel...Not that I take plane journeys often either!
1 person likes this
@gabs8513 (48686)
• United Kingdom
29 Sep 09
Lololol Sparks I can just imagine that to
I think by reaction I would have hit her lol and then ran away
Goodness I can't believe that she did that to you I mean surely she is not suppose to lol but yes you certainly know how to deal with Situations lol
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Sep 09
I knew security was tight, but I sure didn't expect that! LOL She had to touch me for sure, but she could have been a little less aggressive about it. I think she liked me but in the end was glad to see the back of me! ROFL
@royal52gens (5488)
• United States
29 Sep 09
Oh, come on!!! Admit it. You totally enjoyed that pat down. You had way too much fun messing with that lady's head. I think you forgot your shoes on purpose. You just wanted to visit with her a second time. You are so bad. Did you also dance to the gate? I bet you just had your hips a-swinging as you walked away from that security lady. So did she offer to share her handcuffs with you??
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
29 Sep 09
Sharing her bad breath with me was bad enough! LOL
And yeah, I rather enjoyed the whole episode once I got over the shock of having my boobs grabbed! LOL Been years since ANYONE did that! ROFL
@CatsandDogs (13963)
• United States
11 Oct 09
Oh sh!t!! ROFLMAO!! You go girl!! I can't stop laughing!! You're hilarious!!
@tamarafireheart (15384)
•
29 Sep 09
Hi sparky,
I bet they never spot pat you again, lol, I have never been pattered down before, but mind you I haven't on the planes for a long time now. Did you have a nice comfy flight? or did you have some incidents on the plane, there is never a dull moment whe sparks aroung lol. hugs.
Tamara
2 people like this
@sparkofinsanity (20471)
• Regina, Saskatchewan
2 Oct 09
Well I didn't get patted down before the flight back.................bummer! lol
And the flight, I'm sure, was piloted by a trainee who couldn't bank to the right to save his life or keep all the people in their seats, but other than that it was pretty smooth...........NOT!
