My son is autistic

Thankyou for your response. Daniel is having speech and language therapy with occupational therapy. It was only when the speech and language therapist saw my son that the doctors finally gave him the diognoses. I was fighting for years just for him to be assessed.

He was seem by a child mental health nurse when he was two and she told me she suspected autism. I hadn't even heard of it before. But even though my sons school were supportive the medical system haven't been. A have fought for 7yrs just to get Daniel a full assessment. Not for autism but on the wider spectrum, because as a parent I knew there was something and wanted a proper diognoses.

I have heard the medical system you use in the USA is so much better than here the fact your child was picked up on so early proves my point.

The medical system is pretty good IF you have insurance.

I guess that is quite a big difference though I still pay medical insurance in my wages. Though it covers a percentage of the whole country not just myself. We pay National insurance in the UK which pays for the majority of our medical care. Though adults still have to pay for any drugs that are prescribed

thanks for the best response...

my insurance premiums for next year are going to go WAY up...

No problem you gave the best response so you deserved it. Though I find it really hard sometimes to give a best response because sometimes many people have given great response=/

Thanks for replying. Its the opposite here in the UK I cannot fault his school at all. They have been so supportive from the offset. He has had all the support they could give him at school. They obviously felt as I did that he needed it. I just wish the medical system wasn't such a battle. Its hard enough coping with a child who has extra needs without the extra stress that the system brings. But yes as parents we will always fight for the best for our children

We were fortunate. We don't have to battle the school just because their services are the same for either diagnosis. They think a child needs help and they get them the help. Fortunately for me, I had a decent doctor who saw my concerns and referred me. We were lucky.

My family doctors has been great, but its been the other professionals. The first response I had was he was just imateur for his age. Well yes he is immateur but I know his problems go further than just being immateur and it was a long battle to prove it. Luckily because the school has been so supportive and has provided letters to send on he now has the diognoses.

Sounds like the specialists weren't very special at what they were doing.

I have got to agree with you there. I asked for a second opinion but because its to do with mental health they told me that wasn't possible

Oh my! You have got to be kidding. That is horrible. Let me guess, the only way to get a second opinion is if you pay for it out of pocket? I think you might be able to change doctors after six months to a year and get another opinion that way.

Nope its more complicated than that. As that specialist covers quite a large area. Even though there are others that also work with assessing children for Autism, if you are given one for the assessment you are stuck with that one forever basically. They always have your childs record on file, so we would automatically be sent to that doctor.

The only way around it would be to move out of the area.

WOW! Here you have to request a change or a different doctor, but so far I have never had a problem. I hope that holds true. LOL

If it were a pediotrition (sorry about spelling), or my normal doctor, then I could request a second opinion. But because the doctor assessing him for autism is a mental health doctor, a psychiatrist we are not allowed another opinion. Personally I wish they would change that rule.

WOW, that is ridiculous. I don't think it is ever good to be "stuck" with one doctor. The doctor gets too cocky. He knows you can't go anywhere else and he does what he wants.

Thankyou for your kind response and in general I will also praise the NHS. Doctors and nurses in general here do an amazing job. I think though it is different here with the autistic side of things. Having a son who is autistic has opened up a whole network now of parents who have been through the same process here. It really depends what part of the UK you live and whether you can afford to pay for your child privately.

A friend of mine payed for her child privately to be assessed. It cost her over £1000 in dollors thats roughly $2000 around abouts. But she had a full assessment done on her child straight away. He had different tests and things carried out to make a full diognoses.

I can't afford to pay privately, but after the long struggle I told my doctor I would pay if it meant I would get a full assessment done. He pushed the child phsychiatrist to see Daniel and do a full assessment.

I do find the system slightly unfair, but I am guessing if I lived in the states and I couldn't afford insurance my son wouldn't have been seen at all

I live in the UK now America. My son does struggle at school and has been bullied quite badly. Its sad but kids are cruel and if you are not one of the crowd then you don't fit in. He gets picked on because he is different. But it bothers me more than it does my son. Sometimes he doesn't understand when someone is even being nasty to him.

I live in the UK NOT America I meant sorry

My son is also hyperactive but not all the time. I have found removing things from his diet has helped a lot with the hyperactivity. He is not allowed anything with artificial colours or preservatives in (E numbers are a no no).

My son has to have a strict routine. Anything out of this routine upsets him. He collects odd things like car parking tickets. He has to say certain things in a certain way. I have to say things in a certain way or he wants me to repeat them At the moment any word that ends in T I have to repeat.

He doesn't like tags on clothes or seams, which he especially hates on socks. When he sits down in his chair he rocks on his legs, he still chews his clothes to bits. He can write about as well as his 6yr old sister, infact he is failing in all subjects at school and I am currently fighting to get him a statement of educational needs done.

Even though he can talk well he doesn't pronounce his words well and especially struggles with words containing 'sh' and 'ch'. He struggles to understand what others say to him and you will have to repeat what you say as simply as possible. At school his teacher will tell the class what to do, then it will be repeated to my son.

There are many things, he can't ride a bike, tie his shoe laces or even swim, though he has had lessons and goes regularly. I hope this answers your question and thanks for replying

I'm glad she is getting all the help she needs. It is hard, but I believe with patience and a lot of time to give that a child who is autistic can lead as full a life as someone who hasn't got it

It would be so much easier and so much less stressful if there was a way of running one simple test and finding out. But I think it will be a long time until that happens, as if you have a group of autistic children some will be severely autistic and others only slightly.

Also because other needs are very closely linked I feel it is almost impossible to be able to have a test that gives a clear diognoses either way.

To be honest I knew my son was autistic from quite early on. It runs in my family, my brother is autistic, my nephew is autistic, I am mildly autistic and also dysphraxic.

I think thats what gave me the drive to fight. Because I knew I was right. Mothers instinct is very strong. The school was pretty useless until the last couple of years, they have changed their SENCO teacher. The new one is fantastic and if it wasn't for her I still wouldn't have a diognoses.

Her son has Special needs but she has never fought for a diognoses. But she can see from a mothers point of view the problems people face with children with special needs. Its not the child that is the problem, but the systems in place meant to be there to help them. These are what cause the parents the most stress.

Thankyou for the reply

Thankyou for sharing what you have gone through. Those early days must have been hard, not so much the fact you son is autistic but having to fight to get it recognised. I am sure that is what puts most pressure on parents with children who have needs. A lot of the time it is not taken seriously especially when they are very young.

My sisters son is also autistic and she had those exact problems when her son was a baby. I didn't notice any differences in my son until he was about the age of two. Then he would have these huge rages, he would hit his head against the floor. I used to have to hold him on the bed to stop him from harming himself until he calmed down enough for a cuddle. I just got told it was his age, but once he started nursery the differences between him and his peers was much more obvious.

I have fought for a diognoses since he was four as before then I had never considered autism as I had no idea what it was.

I think you are completely right in that we have to show our children right from wrong regardless of whether they have extra needs, I won't let my son get away with bad behaviour and I do get annoyed seeing parents that think its ok to let their kids get away with everything because they have special needs. I know it is harder to teach them as they find things harder to understand, but as a parent it is my responsibility to ensure I find a way to make my child understand. It just takes more patience