"I dont have any plans"....what will be your reactions?

Yes its just normal to be sad about this, I mean you guys have been together for a long time and you know, you would expect that the guy already has plans on settling down and stuff. It really hurts specially when your already expecting that he already has plans and stuff.

Oh yeah, I have cried over that matter for several nights after confronting my long-time boyfriend about it. It was just so blunt and so hurtful, and there I was thinking that perhaps he has a secret plan to get married with me. I just felt devastated. I couldn't care anymore.

Until he told me that my timing that time was off. He was really busy with things and was stressed out. I didn't believe him. Until we had a heart-to-heart talk again that week. He really did have a plan but was just too pre-occupied when I asked him. His plans were actually great and I truly realized he loved me more than I did imagine.

Anyhow, for your scenario, try to check. You will feel it in your heart if he really doesn't have a plan. He will feel you're hurt and would make amends, if he clearly doesn't have a plan, better get out.

Why buy the cow if he could get free milk? Get what I mean? That's the problem with living together. Men won't make efforts anymore because they know you're theirs and why change if everything is comfortable? It's actually a woman's fault in this generation, it's the women who pursue men and we demand that they treat us better. Get it?

Anyhow, "I don't have plans yet" is something to worry about indeed, but perhaps he's cooking up with something or perhaps not. It's your decision now whether or not you'd still wait or get out of that life.

I'd say make him work for your love. Don't give everything for free. Try to show him that you're hurt with his not having plans. It's up to you if you would reason for him or demand for a reason. It's up to you to just let him have his way but you won't have the right to complain later because it was your choice.

Good luck!

I would just relax and look at my happiness in the relationship. If it is worth staying in the relationship take a deep breath and see where things go. If you are not totally happy I would make a change. Time goes by quickly and I would prefer to spend mine happy. I have watched a couple of friends stay in unhappy relationships just for the sake of being in a relationship. They are always disappointed in their boyfriends and constantly fighting, yet they choose to stay for many years hoping the situation will improve. I also have friends who were just happy together and are choosing to do things later when they are both ready. Anyway, I hope that helps a little... good luck with that one

Hello there. I thinks its ok to cry if you're hurt. Maybe the guy is not yet ready to have a family even though the realationship with his gf is in good state. There are a lot of guys are like that including me, but when the time comes and he's emotionally ready he will just let you know about it (I think and I hope so). And I hope he's financially stable when that time comes.lol!

If you're the one in this situation, keep praying to God. Pray to God to prapare your bf's heart, mind soul in becoming a family man.

I hope I can be a help to you.

Keep praying and God Bless!

Hearing your story, i am very sad.After all,with him for four years,even without any intention of marriage or a family.
My first reaction was:He does not love you deeply.
My suggestion:If you think that is the time to start a family,then clearly raise it with him.If he doesn't have the intention,leave off him!

It is quite a normal reaction specially when you expects to much for that guy. I think he has other plan than marrying. Maybe he don't like talking about that and just got pissed off or irritated that time. We sometimes don't like an issue to be forced on us.

As a male and having been in the same situation before.. I would suggest that you give him some time or some sort of a deadline that until he makes up his mind about plans of having a family.. He will lose you... unless you are willing to wait for him until eternity! Maybe its also high time to consider other suitors to give you a fall back in case you two will not succeed with your relationship! Good luck..

It was like a situation of my daughter, they are four yearr living in and the guy seems do not have a plan for her, one time they had a quarrel, i ask the guy if he knows the meaning of responsibility, at that time he cried and promise that he will prepare for it, last week my daughter was home and i sensed right away that they had a fight, she confided to me that she caught the guy with new girl relationship, so i said better stop this nonsense relationship, for four years and with another girl is hard to accept. Now this guy is pleading that my daughter comes back to him and promised a lot of his plans for her. I dont know, but it seems that my daughter had enough.

Now my daughter is back at home, all I could tell her was, I wish she learned the lesson.

in your story, laydee gave you a nice answer, boys this time are irresponsible. Why buy a cow if you can get the milk free. with the response of having no plans, better pack your things and leave fast.

I do not think it is a problem, no matter how he answered, as a man should first think about the future career development, rather than their love, and only cause of success, it is responsible for the family.

Well you should. Not for his sake but yours, his response only tells so much about the kind of person you are in a relationship with. The sooner you can get out of the relationship the better it is for you. Don't waste your time waiting for something that will not come, don't you think 4 years is long enough? Besides chances are this guy is already through with and he's just too afraid to tell you the truth. Decide now or regret it later. Good luck!