Why do some men beat their wives: domestic violence #1

Well I think it is a learned thing my dad was abuse by my grandma an he abuse my mom an all 5 of us kids the thing is thank god my brothers an sister broke the chain an realized what my dad did was wrong an the only one that was abusive toward hi wife an kids was my little brother but he got help after we all got to talking to him an he is doing better an by the way my hubby knows what i wentthough growwing up an he knows i wont take it he lays his hands on me I will pop him one thank god I married a prince an as far as our daughters go we let them know noone has a right to put their hands on them

Well, after almost 50 years of being very happily married, I can't imagine it happening. I think if it did, I'd be so awestruck that I'd do nothing - and then wonder if he had a brain tumour or something. It just won't happen.

I guess there are many reasons why men do this, but statistics show that an abused child will often become an abuser.

I am so thankful that I broke the chain, and that after 22 years of intolerable abuse, I did not become an abuser. When I think of my third step-father, who was the most evil person imaginable, I wonder what on earth could have happened in his life to make him the person he was. He wasn't an abused child, but something must have happened.

I will hit back, of course! hahahaha. There were petty quarrels and even serious arguments but we didn't get to the point of hitting each other. I don't understand why some husbands resort to hitting women. Yes, it might be because of his feeling of superiority. Or might be otherwise (being inferior because wife is superior in some ways; sometimes wives earn more than husbands). Or might be that the wife's mouth is faster than the speed of light and in order to win an argument, he has to put a stop by hitting her? In case this happened to me in the past when he was still alive, I might resort to reporting the matter to the Women's Desk of any police station and eventually file a case against him and eventually, one for legal separation, too.

I think in a lot of cases it is learned behavior.If they grew up watching their father do it to their mother then it is all they know. To them it is normal. In other cases it may be that they never learned how to handle their emotions. It's the only way they know how to express anger, fear, or sadness. They feel that it's the one thing in their lives that they can control.

If my husband hit me...I would leave him. I've been in an abusive relationship before and I know how it has changed me. I will never let it happen again, especially now that I have two boys.

Thanks for letting all of us be part of a discussion, that I think I rarely see it anywhere. First of all, I used to be a victim of domestic violence. My ex-husband used to hit me, for his reasons, and I used to be in the state of constant terror. Men seem to react like that in order to avoid serious discussions, in order to teach their wives who's the boss in the house and stuff like that. There are some cases that these men do it because they have mental problems. The only think that I have to say to these men is that: be careful what you do, because you don't know what you'll get back. My son really hates his father because he saw his daddy hitting his mammy. And nothing to say or do can change that. Of course, he made me sedriously killing him, if he ever try to even touch me with a finger.

Well..I'd suspect it happens because of the insecurity and emotional immaturity of the abuser. Granted, that in no way justifies such atrocity, but it is a simple fact of 'being human' that, as a species, we try to control that which we fear. You will not lift a finger against your wife because you do not fear her. You love her and companion with her..
Unfortunately, there are too many who don't know how to love and companion with anyone..Is it a lack in their upbringing? Did they grow up in such an environment? Perhaps so and tho an answer still does not justify it because, as always, choice is involved..another one of those 'being human' things..To which the question then becomes 'Who would choose to be such a viscious, brutal animal?'
The only answer I can give to that is that it is someone who requires an extended stay in a private room in a mental institution..

Hi Manong,

It is all depends upon the character of the husband and
wife and also as you have said that the men should not beat his
wife at any reasons, but in some times it is not suitable at all
to manage your life. One of my friend he is working in my office
and also he is very sincere to work hard, after 12 years of his hard
work he would earned good money and trust his wife, and handover all the
money and property to his wife, finally she cheated him and now he is on
the street road, tell me what he can do now? do you think that no need to
beat her at this point, when you are begging in the road for one time foods.

Have a nice day.

I'm not sure if there is one single answer as to why men beat their wives. It could be the way family was treated growing up. it may be what he knows. For others it could even be a sense of power. There are so many reasons and excuses for such horrid circumstances. So many cases of domestic violence and abuse are reportedly daily. Yet there are those that go unreported too. It's hard for victims to take a stand against their aggressors when they are afraid of the outcome.

They say that wife beating or domestic violence is a cycle, meaning that the husband was exposed to the same kind of violence when he was a child. One of my fears of being married was if I would get a wife-beater-husband. Mind you, these men do not reveal that violent side of them until you are in the marriage. Thankfully, my hubby is not violent. But if ever that he hurts me physically, I will pack my bags and head home, kids in tow. And unless he agrees to therapy, no way am I coming back.

Men do this because for them it is normal. It is actually dehumanizing for the woman.

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