Do you have a memory from childhood or adulthood that is opposite of your Mom's?
By coffeegurl
@coffeegurl (1467)
United States
March 14, 2010 2:26pm CST
Today, I was just missing my Mom and called her to talk on the phone. We ended up getting into an argument over something I remembered differently than what she did. I didn't want it to turn into an argument, but when she told me her version of what happened, it was so far fetched I started to really laugh out loud..This made her angry. She has been wrong before in her memories, but she swears I am the one who is wrong and that I live in a "fairy tale" world. One time, she thought I came along on a family vacation, when I was actually in basic training at the time. She swore up and down that I was there, but even my sister remembers writing me a letter on Resort stationary.
I couldn't help but laughing, because I would never do such a silly thing as she remembers. It's not even like me. But now, I am afraid to even have a conversation with her, because I don't want to upset her, but she thinks she is always right. I know what happened in my memory. I have a vivid memory of what was said. But I fear maybe she is losing her memory. I just don't know why she gets angry about this. I mean, maybe she could give me something to jar my memory if what I am remembering is different. Instead, she got all angry and said I was raising her blood pressure. Now I just don't know what to talk about. Her memory just came out of nowhere.
Does this happen with your parents or siblings?
5 responses
@Opal26 (17679)
• United States
15 Mar 10
Hi coffeegurl! I have these types of arguements with my mother
all the time! It has gotten to the point that I can't even
speak to her anymore! She is 80 years old and her mind is pretty
sharp, but she flips out over stupid things and I never know
when she is going to turn on me and I have about had it! She
started an arguement with me last week over something so
ridiculously trivial and she started screaming at me and hanging
up the phone that I haven't spoken to her since and I just
can't do this with her anymore! I am tire of her ravings about
stupid stuff! If she keeps this up we will never see each other
again! She has done this to me on and off for years and I didn't
see her for nine years because of it! I finally saw her last
July and I thought we straightened out things and she was
alright for awhile and then suddenly she flipped again over
nothing! I'm just through with her doing this to me!
1 person likes this
@coffeegurl (1467)
• United States
15 Mar 10
OK-I know it may be personal, but does she even let you tell her your part of the story? Does she say you are living in a fantasy? OK-this is very strange-I remember signing up to join the Army on the delayed entry program when I was in high school. My mother was the one who suggested and even mentioned what job I should sign up for. I remember the recruiter saying I should get it "guaranteed" in my contract. My mom claims that I "went behind her back" and visited the recruiter office by myself one day after school and "enlisted myself." She says that she went back to the recruiter to "chew him out" because I signed myself up as a "grunt." WTF? Why would I do that? And if she suggested I join, how was it behind her back? Why would I have to be secretive? I just don't get it. I feel like even my thoughts don't belong to me anymore. Am I going crazy? She said she got things turned around and decided on changing things around so I would have a different job. Grunt?
I specifically remember her saying in the car that she had been talking to a recruiter and mentioned in the same sentence that maybe I should consider the army and also mentioned the job I may be good at in the same sentence. I remember laughing at her and saying, "Me? In the..Army?!" And then I said I couldn't see myself in the army. Mind you, I would have never considered this on my own. So just going by the office without her and signing paperwork? I didn't have a car and I don't remember even knowing where the place to sign up was until she drove me there. I asked how I got there and she said a friend took me or I walked. This place would have been over a miles walk from school. OMG Apparently I can't even join the army the right way. She also mentioned that when I supposedly did this she was,"shocked!" I don't get it.
@Lakota12 (42600)
• United States
15 Mar 10
Never argued with my mom over the phone and now I am the one askinbg all the questions just to get her to talk.
She has short ternm memory now and not sure if she remebers she has justt alked to me.
Your mom might have dementia and she needs to get checked out about it this might be making her angry not kn owing that there is something very wrong.
1 person likes this
@dragon54u (31633)
• United States
15 Mar 10
Yes, that has happened to me frequently. I never argue with Mom, I just say I remember it differently and if she insists I will capitulate. It's not worth arguing about, she's 86 now and there are better things to do with her than argue! After all, it's my memory even if it's wrong, and she wants to disagree that's okay.
@kquiming (2997)
• Philippines
15 Mar 10
I guess it happens sometimes, but rarely. And it doesn't stir up an argument when it's being discussed probably because it's no biggie with my mom. Maybe the reason why you're mom gets irritated is that she's having a hard time accepting the fact that she COULD be losing her memory, and she is. Obviously, based on your story. Anyway I suggest just make her feel taken care of, and not worry too much about old age and growing old. Hope that'll make her feel better and make her treat you better.
@Beautyfactor (1510)
•
14 Mar 10
You know, this does happen with my mother too. She seems to remember things completely different to how they actually were. If we get into a conversation about something and our memories are different I don't bother arguing with her, for some reason I start to question myself and my own memories. Over recent years it has happened more and more.
