At Wits End. Never Ending!  

Near the end it looks like you've got the right attitude. It's really the only attitude you can have at this point. I don't know how old you or your mom are, but I'm pretty sure you're old enough to draw these sorts of lines. Personally, I would tell her. "We will put plastic under the gravel in your flower bed when we have the time. If you want it now, hire someone who can do it now. Otherwise wait. And if you add anything to the flower bed before we get the chance to lay the plastic, I'm sorry, but we won't be able to help you."

Sounds like she really is better off hiring someone.
And as for your dad, he can pay for his own damn air compressor!

I'm glad to hear about your newly-adopted attitude, Cats. I've had that attitude for years, ever since I got fibromyalgia. I do what I can and what doesn't get done is usually patient enough to wait until I can get to it.

Everyone who knows me knows about my limitations so no one thinks badly of me if I don't get the dusting done or if I have to leave some gardening stuff outside for awhile.

You try to do too much, you know. Well, you used to, if you're really serious about this new attitude. You are very correct about only being one person and only being able to do so much. As for your brother, he's an a$$, you know that. You've known that. He's not going to change, apparently, at least not for now.

If I were you, I'd tell my parents to ask if they need anything and then just wait for them to ask, no matter how many "hints" they give you. Apparently, they have a problem asking for help. Some people do, like me. I'll try to do everything myself before I ask for help. Your parents have had longer to develop the attitude they have so it may take awhile before they feel easier about asking for help.

You, now, should be able to feel very good about yourself because you know you've done all you can, plus some! It's time for you to enjoy life and try to stop worrying so much about your parents. I have the feeling they'll let you know if they really need you. Eventually, they may even be able to ask for help!

That's the attitude that you need to adopt.

I'm not kidding.

I've been that way for a long time, it makes it so I look at my knee high yard and say - I'm not able to mow it, it can be tall. If I have the money and someone comes along to mow, I'll pay for it, but otherwise - oh well.

You have to say - its not going to kill me to have a job undone - it might kill me if I over do.

Thats a good attitude. You can only do what you can do. You worry to much and try to do too much. If it don't get done, oh well. Everyone (kids & grandkids) used to always come to me for money, a few months ago I made up my mind, no one is getting any money from me, nope, nadda, julch. I'm tapped out, they like getting the money but don't like paying me back. They have money for pizza, cigarettes stuff like that. I haven't ordered a pizza in ages, I pay my bills. Sometimes you have to get hard nosed about stuff. Stick to your guns, good luck.

Hi Sweetie,
I have to tell you, my favorite part of your post was the very last paragraph. I hope that everything has worked out for you. Girl, you need a break. And I don't mean a 20 minute break!!! You need a few days minimum to get away to whereever will help clear your head and allow you to relax those precious muscles.
You have way too much on your shoulders. Please take care of yourself.
Love Ya,
Leenie

I really do feel for you Cats, but like you said, there is only so much you can do. I wonder what your brother would have said if your hubby had countered and asked "why is he not willing to spend one red cent" to HIS parent's upkeep.. since YOU and hubs are DOING IT ALL. Why can't he spend some time AND money on his parents, since you are doing more than you really can.

Why in the world is he even allowed to come get your dad's air compressor? If he can't help out, why should he even get to borrow anything? What a piece of work!!! He should be ashamed. I know you don't want trouble with him again... but I wonder if you might ask him why he is so hell bent on not helping his parents? They are his parents too.. without them he wouldn't even be on this earth! I want to scream at this man and I don't even know him! Don't get me started now. I wish I could slap him silly for treating his parents that way.

Good attitude to take. 24 hrs is not much time esp. if you sleep 8 of those 24.
Do what you can do and if it doesn't get done, then so be it.
That has had to be my attitude for a long time now.

Quit trying to do everything. It only puts a strain on yourself, your marriage and your family relationships. Who gave you the power to fix everyone's lives, huh? NOBODY!! You can't do it all so quit expecting it. Do what you can while living your own life and don't do a thing more.

I know it's a tough thing to do and it's a lifechanger but you're either going to have to adopt this new attitude suffer a breakdown--which is quite expensive and will probably ruin you financially, make your parents suffer and negatively impact your marriage. So make the smart decision and quit trying to do everything for everyone, ok?

oh Cats, sorry that obviously you wont get a break from rushing here and there and everywhere.
same here I should keep you updated and I hope I will still have enough energy left to do so, but I am always telling myself there are just 24 hours in a day and I can only accomplish so much and no more without breaking down.
Hope you can relax a little over the weekend cause I know you would break if you dont get a little me time, too

If she goes ahead and plants the flowers, I would not do it. If she lays this thing down, I would not worry about the rocks. Don't worry about things that cannot be changed. Just go with the flow. Your brothers sound like they have just decided to not do anything. It is sad, but you cannot keep it up either. If they won't help, you are just going to have to do what you can and only fork out money for what is really important.