Pushing My Limits!
By alaskanray
@alaskanray (4636)
United States
May 5, 2011 4:35am CST
I have to warn my friends: This is a rant. I am kicking against the thorns (p-r-i-c-k-s, as the scriptures say but mylot won't let me use that word).
As many of you know, I have severe fibromyalgia and arthritis that severely limits my mobility and strength. Today I put my car in the shop to get the power steering fixed. The shop is maybe two blocks away...half a mile at the most! I walked home with the help of my walking stick and barely made it home! I am too young to be this old!
Well, I laid down and immediately passed out for a couple of hours. The toilet called me and woke me up but I was still exhausted and my body was on fire. My daughter got home from work shortly after four so I enlisted her help with another task that would be demanding on my body: we went to haul some cinder blocks home from a trailer two doors down. I had my shopping cart and my daughter brought the wheelbarrow. I loaded four blocks onto my shopping cart and she took two in the wheelbarrow.
I took three Excedrin! Nothing! I took two Vicodin! Nothing! I am still in pain! I HATE NOT BEING ABLE TO DO THINGS AS SIMPLE AS THESE LITTLE THINGS I DID TODAY! It's not like I walked a marathon! Nor did I try to press 200 pounds. I hate being confined to my bed most of the time. The pain and the fatigue are vicious, hateful enemies of my happiness. I want to be able to do things again! I hate it when I forget that I can't do what I used to anymore! And I hate not being able to do things I used to do! I'm too young to be this old! I hate the grogginess that overtakes me, the sleep attacks that I am powerless to overcome! I want to live again!
I just need someone to know and understand. Sorry for the pity party. I don't usually complain like this but I just had to get it out this time! Hugs to my friends! I love you guys.
I just need someone to know and understand. Sorry for the pity party. I don't usually complain like this but I just had to get it out this time! Hugs to my friends! I love you guys.1 person likes this
3 responses
@KrauseHome (36445)
• United States
8 May 11
I can understand and relate with the pain, and know what it is like when nothing seems to work, and you feel Frustrated. I know I have issues with pain, etc. and not sure if it is RA or Fybro and really wish that there was someway that a Doctor would be interested in wanting to explore it more. But there are days where I get frustrated and wish things could be easier, but all we can do is continue to Trust God and believe that one day everything is going to be worth it all.
1 person likes this
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
9 May 11
Amen. We really have to fight for our medical care, don't we? What helped me was being self-advocating. I had to make my doctor give me a proper diagnosis...I had to get my mad on to make him listen. If you can't do that, you might see if you can find someone else who will advocate for you. I hope you can find some answers and the medical care you need. It's an uphill battle, I know...and I'm still fighting it!
Hugs!
Hugs! @Hatley (163772)
• Garden Grove, California
8 May 11
hi alaskanray in reading you discussion I caught something that
made me wonder. I know little of fibermalgia but oh boy I do know
arthritis old .arthritis is a mean old buzzard that zaps my poor knees. I sympathize and I am old. being old takes a lot of courage
and is not for sissies. I will be 85 on my birthday in NOvember.
that grogginess and sleep fatigue believe it or not also can go along with high blood sugar.Have you had yourself tested for diabetes? if not you should do it once a year anyway. I am arthritic and a diabetic and pushing my walker up the hall to the elevator and to our room almost did me in. I had spaghetti with meat sauce and should not have taken a second helping as it could be causing high blood sugar. that fatigue will just knock your socks off its like slogging through a ton of mud and just
barely making it.I use Vicodin for my injured knee pain. tramadol for the arthritis.+I hope you can find something that will relieve your pain, Tramadol just might help .Ask your doctor about Tramadol.
1 person likes this
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
8 May 11
Yes, I know that I am diabetic although I am able to control it with diet. I get my A1C done four times a year and it is always good. I know what you mean about slogging through the mud. Fibromyalgia also has fatigue so I'm getting a double whammy of it from both sources. I know what is causing my problems and I know what is available to me. There is really not a whole lot I can do about it. I just have to scream and throw a fit once in awhile 
and that is all I was doing here.
Thanks for the sympathy. Getting old really isn't for sissies, is it? lol 
and that is all I was doing here.
Thanks for the sympathy. Getting old really isn't for sissies, is it? lol 
@ElicBxn (64169)
• United States
5 May 11
You keep going, despite the pain. I admire you.
I had honestly rather given up when my feet started giving me problems, now, while they still hurt, they really don't hurt as bad as they used to. Yes, staying off them a lot helped them heal, but the weight I gained doing that didn't.
Now I am working on a project outside in the afternoons, early evenings and I can do it with the roommate to do the really heavy lifting.
I'm not getting much mylotting done, but I'm getting stuff done around here!
1 person likes this
@alaskanray (4636)
• United States
5 May 11
Yeh, I know what you mean. I am really psyched to get my wall up. It's a project that may take me till mid summer but I'm really going to have fun with it. Of course, it also means I don't get much mylotting done, either. lol 
1 person likes this
