How will it help or hurt your gay/lesbian high school child. . .

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Does it help or hurt your gay/lesbian child if you tell them that they are not gay/lesbian? I have a friend whose high school child is gay. Ok, he hasn't come out yet, but my son (who is gay) and I have no doubt that he is gay. We would never tell any of his friends or relatives, because that would just be mean. This young adult has always had feminine qualities (talk, walk, mannerisms). He was in a few female sports in high school. Most all of his friends are girls. And, this is not a gay trait, but he is depressed (he's on meds for that). There have been a couple of times that I have witnessed adults and kids ask him or hint around if he is gay, and of course he says that he is not (because his parents tell him he's not so he knows how they feel about it). His parents were near at these times and they gave angry looks to the people who asked and then would pull him aside whispering to him. I can understand why they would do this since he hasn't told them he is gay. But he will never want to open up to them now because they have made it clear that they are against it. He knows they would never approve. I know what you're thinking - My son and I are assuming that he's gay, when in fact, he might not be. This is true. We could be wrong, but we've seen this happen way too many times. I saw a lot of the 'signs' in my son as he was growing up. It didn't cross my mind that he was gay until he was in high school. That's when I realized that it was a very real possibility. I love my son no matter who he is. Whenever I was with him and another person would hint around or ask him if he was gay, I mirrored his reaction to this person. Do you remember when your young child would look at you to see what your reaction is to something before they reacted? That's what I did. He was becoming a young adult with his own views and truths. I would never take those away from him. What are your thoughts? Do you think it helps or hurts if you tell your gay child that they are not gay?