Surviving the teen years with a troubled teen
By Reikimaster
@Reikimaster (5)
United States
February 4, 2012 7:36am CST
Any nother parents of a lieing, manipulative teenager out there? Tell me how you're doing it...PLEASE!!! I do not know what to do with my troubled teenage daughter. She lies right to my face and I abhor lieing! We have been through so much turmoil over the years with her that has disrupted the family and I am at my breaking point. She has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals, gotten pregnant last year (lost it), started college, quit college, went back to college, has hd about 15 different jobs that she can't keep. The list is endless. Recently, I've been having money missing from my purse, and a little can that I keep in a drawer. Am I positive it was her....no because I don't have proof. Does my gut tell me it was ...absolutely! She is not in my house right now. She has been staying at her "father's" for the last few days. I think she will stay there for awhile, although she told him that we kicked her out. I set that straight. I can't stand the lies. I know I am not the only person who has had to deal with a child like this. If you have been through anything like this with your child, please let me know.
1 person likes this
3 responses
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
4 Feb 12
Hi Reikimaster,
Welcome to Mylot! You came to the right place. I wish I knew about this place when I was dealing with all that. I had one daughter who was just a nightmare...especially in her teens. She was like 10 teens in one! You have to be firm and tough. How old is she? I set rules in my home and gave her the choice to abide or not. If not...out. Of course by that point she was 18. You have to be very tough while at the same time let them know that it is because you love them that you are being so tough. That can be tricky and especially when they are acting out and not open to hearing it. I stuck to it, my daughter hated me for a time...it hurt alot and her behavior drove me nuts but I have to tell you that she is now 25 and an amazing person, hard worker & a good mom.
@Reikimaster (5)
• United States
4 Feb 12
WOW!...you're decribing my life right now. She's almost 19. I DO feel like she hates me right now. That tough, I'm not dealing with you, I know everything attitude coupled with the manipulative comments and actions drives me nuts. We did tell her the exact same thing that you said...that this is our house and there are expectations regarding respect, consideration and behavior and if you can't deal with that than you a choices to make. That's why she is with her bio father right now. Of course, she told him that we kicked her out (ugh!). I keep telling myself...this too shall pass!
@sid556 (30953)
• United States
5 Feb 12
As hard as it is to believe right now..it WILL pass. I say this, of course, from the other side of that situation. While I was there, I have to tell you that it felt like it would NEVER end. My daughter also told her dad that I "kicked her out" and that I refused to "feed her"...all of which was twisted up words. I believe the "mom won't feed me" concept stemmed from me getting after her for feeding her loser boyfriend 8 grilled cheese sandwhiches, etc. I had two other children that I was providing for at the time and I didn't appreciate her feeding this kid that I'd banned from my home. I, of course, never denied her food. Even when she bounced around & couch surfed at whoever would take her in, I always provided her with food. She was always welcome in my home but she had to abide the rules which were not ridiculous. You know..crazy stuff like don't hold big parties and no feeding vodka to 15 yr olds etc. Stick with it. It gets worse before it gets better but it does get better. Gradually, she grew up and realized that I was ALWAYS there for her and she respected that I did not tolerate her BS. She actually at one point thanked me for not giving up on her. I look at her now and it is hard for me to imagine her as that girl that gave me such stress only a few years ago. My daughter did not just tell her dad that I kicked her out and would not feed her...she was telling everyone this stuff. When she wants to come home and she will...do not let her back in easily. Tell her you need to think on it and then have the rules in writing...have her sign them. And don't let her slide an inch from them...she'll take a mile. My daughter moved in and out a few times before she got it right. I just refused to deal with her crap and she learned that no one else would either.
@girl_thinking (1959)
• Philippines
4 Feb 12
Reading your discussion reminds me of my younger sister. She has the same description as you mentioned above although she is still controllable. She already have 2 babies at the age of 20 and have had several jobs she could not keep. The problem with her is that she is no longer a teenager. I don't know how to deal with her anymore but she is not really a nuisance. It seems that she just doesn't know what her actions will result to in the long run..
I'm sorry I don't know how to deal with these kinds of people. I guess just let them be and time will make them realize though by the time they realize, it could get too late. But that's life.
@Reikimaster (5)
• United States
4 Feb 12
Yeah...my daughter only thinks about "now" and doesn't get so far as to think what repercussions her actions and decisions will have. Very frustrating when it's someone you love because you can't just turn off your emotions. Although, you get numb after awhile.
@tatzkie23 (770)
• Philippines
5 Feb 12
Sorry to hear about your daughter. To tell you the truth, I've also experienced being a teen, i think we all did, but i don't remember myself being like that. But i can't deny that i was also a stubborn, and a rebel. I hate a lot of things in life. But what i never did is that, i steal from other people or lying all the time.
You said that she has been in and out of psychiatric hospitals? what could be the reason? does she taking any medications? What's her diagnosis? I think she's really troubled. I hope that you could talk to her in person and know something about her why is she acting like that. I hope that this will resolve soon. 
