what's the best way to say no to a guy without hurting his feelings?
By maryannemax
@maryannemax (12154)
Sweden
7 responses
@steney (1418)
• Philippines
23 Feb 07
Let's face it, the truth is there's no best way! No matter how you camouflage your words with euphemisms and the kindest words you can ever think of, rejection is still rejection. Just be honest and say it straightforward than lie or put it in another way that can be misconstrued as a 'maybe' or even 'yes'.
1 person likes this
@maryannemax (12154)
• Sweden
24 Feb 07
yep. good point. better to be straightforward than run around the bush trying to find the right words of saying no without hurting someone. however it is said,it will still hurt at some point.
@Denmarkguy (1845)
• United States
23 Feb 07
I don't really know if it is even possible to tell someone "no" without hurting their feelings. I think it's just a natural part of life that a "rejection" hurts, no matter what.
So perhaps the key is in making sure that your "no" is said in a compassionate and honest way, indicating that you do really appreciate the person for asking, but you are simply not interested. The word "no" doesn't really need to be accompanied by a lot of explanations... since that sometimes gives the impression that you're actually trying to "leave the door slightly open." A simple "No, that's really not going to work for me" is enough.
@maryannemax (12154)
• Sweden
24 Feb 07
yep. rejection is always accompanied by hurt no matter how we say it. being compassionate when declining an offer or a question is the best way to do it.
@wmg2006 (5381)
• United States
22 Feb 07
The best way is to explain and then say no, if they never talk to you again then they were not worth having as a friend or b/f, g/f. They never respected you if this bothers them to the point of not speaking to you. There is no way to say no without hurting someone, but there is way to say it without mean intentions. It gets easier as time goes by. Just be true to yourself and let them worry about their own feelings.
@maryannemax (12154)
• Sweden
22 Feb 07
yep. that's true. just say no and have some time to explain why. atleast, try to make the person understand. and still, if he can't understand, it's not my problem anymore. hurt will always be a part of saying no to a person.
@TerryZ (22076)
• United States
22 Feb 07
There is no nice way so what you do is try to explain why you are saying no and hope for the best.
@maryannemax (12154)
• Sweden
22 Feb 07
i realized that, too. never the best way to say it without hurting anyone. but it's the best we can do, be honest from the very start. atleast not make the wound so much deeper.
@manong05 (5027)
• Philippines
22 Feb 07
Saying the negative word to someone who expects the positive always implies "pain", but to do it, we must and get it over with. Some people are good in sugar coating the bitter pill of disappointment to cushion the impact but it'll hurt just the same. The best one could do is to say it in a nice way.
@maryannemax (12154)
• Sweden
22 Feb 07
yep. true. no matter how we say it, it will still hurt the person deep inside. but the pain heals in due time. so better yet, say it.. and if so, always in a nice respectful way.
@krishna183 (2284)
• India
22 Sep 06
whether it is to a guy or a girl .. say "no " with an honest and simple smile on your face .. not with an anger .. and the person will take it the right way .. try it next time
