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Bill Gates Meets His Match  email this discussion to a friend?

myLot reputation of 77/100. Starlady0_1 (478)   ranked 105 out of 533 in sharing jokes 6 years ago

The following is a conversation overheard as Bill Gates was moving into his new home.
Bill: "There are a few issues we need to discuss."
Contractor: "Ah, you have our basic support option. Calls are free for the first 90 days and $75 a call thereafter. Okay?"
Bill: "Uh, yeah.. the first issue is the living room. We think it's a little smaller than we anticipated."
Contractor: "Yeah. Some compromises were made to have it out by the release date."
Bill: "We won't be able to fit all our furniture in there."
Contractor: "Well, you have two options. You can purchase a new, larger living room; or you can use a Stacker."
Bill: "Stacker?"
Contractor: "Yeah, it allows you to fit twice as much furniture into the room. By stacking it, of course, you put the entertainment center on the couch.. the chairs on the table.. etc. You leave an empty spot, so when you want to use some furniture you can unstack what you need and then put it back when you're done."

Bill: "Uh..I dunno..issue two. The second issue is the light fixtures. The bulbs we brought with us from our old home won't fit. The treads run the wrong way."

Contractor: "Oh! That's easy. Those bulbs aren't plug and play. You'll have to upgrade to the new bulbs."

Bill "And the electrical outlets? The holes are round not rectangular. How do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Just uninstall and reinstall the electrical system."

Bill: "You're kidding!?"

Contractor: "Nope. Its the only way."

Bill: "Well..I have one last problem. Sometimes, when I have guest over, someone will flush the toilet and it won't stop. The water pressure drops so low that the showers don't work."

Contractor: "That's a resource leakage problem. One fixture is failing to terminate and is hogging the resources preventing access from other fixtures."

Bill: "And how do I fix that?"

Contractor: "Well, after each flush, you all need to exit the house, turn off the water at the street, turn it back on, reenter the house and then you can get back to work."

Bill: "That's the last straw. What kind of product are you selling me?"

Contractor: "Hey, if you don't like it nobody made you buy it."

Bill: "And when will this be fixed?"

Contractor: "Oh, in your next house--which will be ready to release sometime near the end of next year. Actually it was due out this year, but we've had some delays.."

 

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tags:  jokes, bill gates, mature content, microsoft, funny
 
1. myLot reputation of 42/100. redyellowblackdog (4040)   6 years ago

Man, this is too true. Microsoft does have some of the best software, but sometimes they can be really frustrating.


myLot reputation of 77/100. Starlady0_1 (478)   ranked 105 out of 533 in sharing jokes  6 years ago

Yes they can. The down side with Microsoft is they have so many products makes for great jokes. I know of some companies that have one or two products and have problems. Microsoft has alot of them.

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2. myLot reputation of 66/100. illumina_foxz (108)   6 years ago

hahahaha.. this is one great satire.. :D
this really made me think of their Window Vista thing... keep moving .. LoL..
resource hogging... lmao XD... that's so much for Windows XP and stuff... :p

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3. myLot reputation of 81/100. r0ck_r0ck (1055)   ranked 70 out of 533 in sharing jokes   6 years ago

WTF! dats funny!

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4. myLot reputation of 42/100. terminator7879 (119)   6 years ago

i dont have that much of knowledge about this.

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5. myLot reputation of 30/100. huyadp (760)   6 years ago

ok,thanks


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6. myLot reputation of 79/100. nzk786 (411)   6 years ago

Here is a similar one
The World is about to end and so God beckons the President of the US, the Russian President and Bill Gates and tells them that theWorld is Coming to an End and so to informa all their people to be ready for it.
The US President goes back and tells the People of US..Countrymen I have good news and Bad News. The Good News is that there is a GOD. The Bad news is that the World is Coming to an end and so be prepared to leave this lovely life you have been leading so far.
The Russian President goes and tells his people. I have Bad news and Good News. The Bad News is that there is a GOD, the good news is that your suffering is soon coming to an end@!
Bill Gates calls all employees of Microsoft and tells them, Folks I have good news and Better news. The Good news is that God thinks I am among the three most important people in the world. The Better news for all of you is that we wont need to Release Vista anymore!

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7. myLot reputation of 23/100. JBD189 (335)   6 years ago

That's quite a match - the dumbhead.

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8. myLot reputation of 74/100. plantit1 (294)   6 years ago

Good joke but the joke is really on us, isn't it?

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9. myLot reputation of 88/100. kastor003 (191)   6 years ago

good joke.well it is partly true. these software companies make a lot of fuss about there producs. they always have some problems and just keep on telling , it will be fixed in next realease. they bring out new version each other day and make us believe it has a lot of features. but most of them are false..

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10. myLot reputation of 69/100. randyequal (436)   6 years ago

this is microsoft, this is bill gates... I think it is true that they have some very good softwares...
but we often meeting many problems with Microsoftware...

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