What to say to people who make themselves sick
By momokoseiya
@momokoseiya (453)
United States
January 30, 2007 10:12am CST
I am having an issue right now and I don't know how to deal with it. People in my family have a habit of bringing upon their own illnesses. For example, my uncle died from liver failure due to his excessive drinking. My aunt died of kidney failure because she did not correctly monitor her diabetes. Now, my mother is dying from emphysema due to her years of smoking.
I do feel very sad that my mother is dying, but I don't know what to say to her. She expects me to pity her and feel badly for her, but she caused this disease. She knew the risks of smoking and still chose to do it. I want to comfort my mother and be there for her, but she portays herself as a helpless victim, which she is not.
What should I do? I don't want to be cold to her. I love my mother, but I want to help her realize that her health was her responsibility and she should have taken care of it. How do I do this gently?
1 response
@icequeen (2840)
• Canada
30 Jan 07
I really don't know if there is a gentle way to tell her that she should not have smoked. I think that she probably knows that. In this case maybe you should not add to her stress. She is already sick and being told that she is to blame for her own fate would probably not make her feel any better. I think you just need to be there for her..and just ignore her pity cries...she is suffering enough as it is.


