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Un-Adoption email this discussion to a friend?

MommieMoney (52)   ranked 3,616 out of 14,925 in parenting3 years ago

If a family adopts a child and later on decides the child is not what they wanted should they be allowed to un-adopt that child?

I believe in some cases you can do this, however you end up having to pay child support to the state or whoever takes the child in.

How about if the child is a danger to your family or to themselves or others? Should that make a difference?

 
 
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tags:  hi, adoption, children
 
1. myLot reputation of 91/100. emquinsat (775)   ranked 4,386 out of 14,925 in parenting   3 years ago

I think you can do it. But it really be unethical. I mean we're talking about a human being it's not like a clothing that you buy and when you wear it and figured out it doesn't look good on you, then you would just throw it away or give it to someone else.

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2. kriz10 (43)   ranked 11,228 out of 14,925 in parenting   3 years ago

Adoptive parents should know beyond a shadow of a doubt that they would like to have that child and should accept that this is a lifetime committment.

It might make sense legally to be able to "unadopt" but think of the utter sense of rejection that a child would experience by being given up TWICE!

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3. myLot reputation of 96/100. suedarr (1523)   ranked 301 out of 14,925 in parenting   3 years ago

I think that once a child is adopted that that child should be considered the same as a biological child both legally and by the adoptive parent/s and family. It is not a step that should be taken lightly and I know that the screening process is quite rigorous. I see no difference in the steps that would need to be taken whether a child is biological or adopted if they developed violent tendancies.

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4. myLot reputation of 85/100. SignMe (783)   ranked 3,848 out of 14,925 in parenting   3 years ago

This will be a mere chance of luck. No one knows how the child will be after it grows. But it will be a difficult decision to reject after adopting i.

But people should treat it as and how they would have treated their own child when it behaves badly.

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5. myLot reputation of 99/100. thinkingoutloud (2446)   ranked 947 out of 14,925 in parenting   3 years ago

A family should never enter into the adoption process if there is the slightest chance that they are unsure or may regret their decision. A child is not a consumer commodity and a family should not be allowed to decide, down the road, that they simply don't like the one they chose. I think we've become a very self-entitled yet throw-away society, in a lot of ways. If we don't like something, we take it back or toss it... without a second thought... because it doesn't meet our current standards. It's one thing if you're talking about a rash decision to buy a car, which you can later sell if you don't like it, but this is a person... a child... it's not even close to the same thing.

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6. myLot reputation of 84/100. anij34 (275)   ranked 666 out of 14,925 in parenting   3 years ago

So in other words, you believe that you can divorce your husband because things are just too hard. Its the same thing with a child. You adopt a child and thing just get too hard so you walk away. Wow, abandoned by two sets of parents. Nice way to strengthen a child's self-esteem.

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7. myLot reputation of 88/100. lameran (849)   3 years ago

mmm usually in my country there is no un adoption, because if somebody allready take an adoption, than it must care and assumes that child as her or him born child and take all the responsibility that may happen in the future, may be like that the consequence of being adoption child, so we must think and think again before make an adoption, and in my rase usually adoption child also get somethin like priority on share heritage from parrent, usually parrent will give the adoption child slight bigger heritage, I don't know why, may be because adoption child usually takes more burden than a normal born child, Imho.

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8. myLot reputation of 88/100. thunderofsins (681)   ranked 829 out of 14,925 in parenting   3 years ago

"Unadoption"?! That is horrible!

Once you adopt a child they are legally your child, just as any child that you give birth to. If you wish to abandon them you should have to go through the same process and possible criminal charges as if it was a biological child. Children are not belongings. They should not be discarded because they didn't turn out to be what you thought they would.

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9. myLot reputation of 65/100. stutiaquarian (366)   3 years ago

surely this option must be availiable as people who cannot take care of the adopted child must let him back

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