Doctor,Nurse  | |  Doctor: "Did you take the patient's temperature
Nurse: "No. Is it missing?"
Doctor: "Nurse, how is that little boy doing, the one who swallowed ten quarters?"
Nurse: "No change yet."
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| | | | | | | | | | Locksmith (800) 794-5902 Emergency Locksmith Services Fast 24 Hour 7 Day Locksmith Services. www.Los-Angeles-Locksmith.net | add comment |
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| | 2.  forjosie (1217) | 2 years ago |  Brazilian Soldiers
Donald Rumsfeld is briefing president Bush: "Yesterday, 3 Brazilian soldiers were killed."
"Oh no!" exclaims the president, "that's terrible!"
His staff is stunned at this unprecedented display of emotion, watching as Bush sits, head in hands.
Finally, he looks up and asks, "How many is a brazillion?"
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 anjuscor (1157) | 2 years ago |  A wee Clydeside man, who has worked in the shipyards all his life, wins on the Pools and decides to do something they could never have dreamed of doing - take a trip on one of the ships he helped build - the QE2.
Now as it is a once in a lifetime event, he goes the whole hog and takes one of the best staterooms. Naturally the captain when he hears one of the men who built her is on board they are invited to the captain's table. At the table is an immensely wealthy Kelvinside lady and she regards the pair as frightfully amusing.
"And hev you sailed on the ship many times before?" she asks.
"Naw," says our wee man's wife, excitement in her voice, "This is oor furst time!"
"Oh I see," drawls the Kelvinside lady,"my husband and I make this trip three times every year."
"Three times? Every year!?" squeaks the wee worker's wife, "how d'ye manage it?"
The lady coughs politely and says very archly, "My husband works for Cunard you know."
"Well," spits out the wee worker's wummin, "Mah man works f***in hard tae, but we don't brag aboot it!"
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| | Fly from Los Angeles to London Daily non-stop flight from LAX to LHR. Book your flight today. www.airnewzealand.com | add comment |
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| | 3.  the_hot_hunk (2481) | 2 years ago |  For toothpaste ad they show teeth.
For hair oil they show hair.
For face cream they show face.
But for Whisper they are not showing anything, that's cheating. Jaago Grahak Jaago.
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| | a5 discussion boards Find Other A5 Owners Audi A5 Forums & Photos. www.InsideLine.com | add comment |
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| | | 4. anjuscor (1157) | 2 years ago | A man goes to the doctor with a long history of migraine headaches.
When the doctor does his history and physical, he discovers that his
poor patient has had practically every therapy known to man for his
migraines and STILL no improvement.
"Listen," says the Doctor, "I have migraines, too and the advice I'm
going to give you isn't really anything I learned in medical school,
but it's advice that I've gotten from my own experience. When I have
a migraine, I go home, get in a nice hot bathtub, and soak for a
while. Then I have my wife sponge me off with the hottest water I can
stand, especially around the forehead. This helps a little. Then I
get out of the tub, take her into the bedroom, and even if my head is
killing me, I force myself to have sex with her. Almost always, the
headache is immediately gone. Now, give it a try, and come back and
see me in six weeks."
Six weeks later, the patient returns with a big grin. "Doc! I took
your advice and it works! It REALLY WORKS! I've had migraines for
17 years and this is the FIRST time anyone has ever helped me!"
"Well," says the physician, "I'm glad I could help."
"By the way, Doc," the patient adds, "you have a REALLY nice house."
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| | | | | 5. Jenna2210 (4) | 1 year ago |  This post contains content of a mature nature. You must be Signed in or Registered to have the option to view this content.
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| | | | | 6. OreoCookie3 (13329) | 5 months ago |  Ahh so cute. Wow! I'm a year late answering this discussion.. oh it's not a discussion anyway.. just jokes. Are they allowed on mylot?
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| | | | 7.  underdogtoo (2598) | 5 months ago | Haha! What can I say? It's funny. | |
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| | | | | 8. vianneyanzu (545) | 5 months ago |  That was funny. Thank you for sharing it here. I had a good laugh, teehee.. Thanks.:)
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