Spanking or no spanking?

In my opinion getting spankings up into your teenage years, is closer to abuse . . . Not disapline. I am talking about disapline as a child. Not abusing your kids..

Are we talking spankings or beatings????? A quick smack on the rear is not going to cause a major problem, I'm sure most people here can state they've had a few. Once you have children of your own you will see different things your parents did right and wrong, children aren't born with a handbook and we try to do the best we can. (Sometimes wishing we could go back and change the errors we made)

Momknows...I agree that once we are parents we see things that our parents did right and that they did wrong. That's why I chose to NEVER spank any of my children. I was spanked as a child and although I can't remember the why of any of them, I can remember the anger they caused me to feel toward my parents, and I refused to do that to my own children.

Spanking never NEEDS to be done, it is a CHOICE that some parents make in their discipline tools. I've never used that particular tool in over 21 yrs of parenting three children, one of whom is VERY difficult, but yet they've always known who was in charge, and we've been able to take them anywhere we've ever wanted to go and have them behave appropriately. Being a grown up and acting like it does NOT mean you have to resort to hitting children.

If children are spoiled, that falls on the parent. So you would hit a child for the shortcomings of their parents? Children do NOT spoil themselves, you know.

Maybe they didn't bring guns and knives to school where YOU lived, but there have been school shootings going on since the 1930s...they just didn't make the national news and were dealt with on a local level. And I'm 4 yrs older than you and did NOT go to school in Utopia like you did....there were kids who talked back, kids who laughed at any and all authority figures, and kids in JAIL, not just on probation.

Oh, and for the record? Polls show that 80%of parents in the United States STILL spank their children......so that sort of blows your theory all to pieces, doesn't it?

no actually it don't. it proves it. you said its been going on in the 30's? kids today are more open about it. the law don't allow parents any control over their kids. a few years ago a family member of mine spanked her child, the law was called on her,there were no marks but they took her to jail, and the judge right in front of the child told the mother she was not allowed to touch her child anymore.that the child aged 12 could do what she wanted. now tell me things are not different? back in the 60 and 70 even 80 the judge would have patted the parent on the back for trying to make her child mind.and when they got back home this child push it all the way, even to the point that she started hitting her mom. and throwing what the judge said in her face. the mother could not do a thing but take it thanks to todays gov. in everyones business but their own.i like in ky and its as bad as anywhere else now.kids rule the parents because the law won't let the parents take control. that is proof things are different. hows that for blowing things out of the water?

"no actually it don't. it proves it."
You said the problems come from children no longer getting spanked.....and yet 80% of children ARE still spanked......and according to the parents of the Columbine shooters, and several other school shooters, those kids were PART of that 80%. So, again, explain how that proves your theory that lack of spanking is the problem.

"the law don't allow parents any control over their kids."
That is an outright lie....the laws of all fifty states still allow parents to spank, just not to abuse their children.

"a few years ago a family member of mine spanked her child, the law was called on her,there were no marks but they took her to jail, and the judge right in front of the child told the mother she was not allowed to touch her child anymore.that the child aged 12 could do what she wanted."

That judge was NOT following the laws as they are written, and someone should have done something about it.

"kids rule the parents because the law won't let the parents take control."

If kids are ruling parents, it's because the parents don't know HOW to get control. My children have never ruled things around here, and I've never had to hit them to let them know who is in charge.

"hows that for blowing things out of the water?"
Since it's not based on FACTS and TRUTH, it doesn't blow anything out of the water.....nice try, though.

Different strokes for different folks. I know I can rest easy at night knowing that my kids have had the guideance and disapline they needed to grow into fine adults, And that's enough for me.

My three are all fine adults, or close to it...without ever being hit. It just takes some extra work on the part of the parents.

ill tall you what, call the schools and ask if they are allowed to spank kids. bet they tell you no. just as parents are no allowed anymore. i know for a fact its true. like it or not. parents do not have control because the law does not allow them to. this also i know for a fact.

Schools are not allowed to in some states, true...but parents are still allowed in ALL states, as long as they do not leave marks. That's the law, and that's the fact.

Oh, and just to back up my facts...here's where all the states stand on corporal punishment...it's still allowed in TWENTY TWO states...nearly half....

Where the states stand on corporal punishment:
Alabama--Legal
Alaska--Illegal
Arizona--Legal
Arkansas--Legal
California--Illegal
Colorado--Legal
Connecticut--Illegal
Delaware--Illegal
District of Columbia--N/A
Florida--Legal
Georgia--Legal
Hawaii--Illegal
Idaho--Legal
Illinois--Illegal
Indiana--Legal
Iowa--Illegal
Kansas--Legal
Kentucky--Legal
Louisiana--Legal
Maine--Illegal
Maryland--Illegal
Massachusetts--Illegal
Michigan--Illegal
Minnesota--Illegal
Mississippi--Legal
Missouri--Legal
Montana--Illegal
Nebraska--Illegal
Nevada--Illegal
New Hampshire--Illegal
New Jersey--Illegal
New Mexico--Legal
New York--Illegal
North Carolina--Legal
North Dakota--Illegal
Ohio--Legal
Oklahoma--Legal
Oregon--Illegal
Pennsylvania--Legal
Rhode Island--Restricted*
South Carolina--Legal
South Dakota--Illegal
Tennessee--Legal
Texas--Legal
Utah--Illegal
Vermont--Illegal
Virginia--Illegal
Washington--Illegal
West Virginia--Illegal
Wisconsin--Illegal
Wyoming--Legal
* banned by every school board in the state

For more information check out:

http://school.familyeducation.com/education-and-state/punishment/38377.html

As far as what parents are allowed to do in their own homes,I haven't found a site yet that runs through it state by state like that one above, but I did find this:

There is no legal prohibition in the United States against parents spanking their children. In fact, state laws generally permit parents to use "reasonable" corporal punishment on their offspring.

then someone forgot to tell the judges here..i had a neighbor, his son punched him in the face, he push his son down,thats it... and he went to jail for it. and his son got nothing. his son was 17. someone forgot to pass the memo to the judges.

We were talking about SPANKING, not about ASSAULT. He got in trouble because he was an adult who ASSAULTED a minor. If he had spanked him, instead of pushing him down, then he would have been within the law.

(If he would have spanked him he would have been with in the law)

Thought you were against spanking....

I AM against spanking, but that doesn't change what the LAW says, does it? If the parent in that situation had spanked his child, he would have been within his legal rights. As it was, he chose an action which the law viewed as assault.

he push the boy because the boy was punching him in the face. the boy is much bigger then his father. i don't see him spanking him. and he only pushed him to protect himself.

I understand that, but when an adult does something like that to a minor, regardless of the reason or the intent, it's legally assault...so of course he was arrested. It still has nothing to do with your claim that parents are not allowed to spank their children.

Here's an interesting Fact...The top 5 most dangerous city are all from states where spanking is illegal......

Interesting....what are those cities, how many years have they been in the top five, and how long has spanking been illegal there?

The site didn't say how long they were ranked at the most dangerous cities, and these are the ones ranked by their large sized cities...
1)Camden NJ
2)Compton CA
3)Trenton, NJ
4) Detroit MI
5)-no surprise here- Washington DC......

Looks to me like New Jersey is not the place to live.
Spanking or not just thought this was interesting.

Just remember, the list I posted is only for spanking in schools, so there's no way of knowing what goes on in the homes, where it is still legal.

But I agree, having lived in New Jersey for a while, it's not a place I'd want to go back to anytime soon.