Is it okay for mother-in-law to know that you and your husband have a fight?
By marymarj2002
@marymarj2002 (1769)
Philippines
March 13, 2007 12:38am CST
This happen to me. My mother in law always play a role in my own family. She lives far from us but she always go to our house when we have a fight with my husband. It is either that my husband will tell her mother that we fight or our helper who is the niece of my mother in-law. Sometimes, I hate it and a bit of irritated. I think she has no right to be always there because me and his son got a fight. She visit us and make a sermon. Sometimes, she will tell words that sounds like that I am the faulty. I don't like it. What do you think of this idea? Is it okay for her to always be in our midst and make a sermon when my husband and I have a fight?
1 person likes this
4 responses
@thebestmom (1104)
• Philippines
16 Mar 07
If that's the case, that sounds irritating. but if you are very close to your mother in law, why not make the first move and tell her first? she might side with you this time..
@marymarj2002 (1769)
• Philippines
17 Mar 07
Actually we are not that close but she is trying or maybe pretending to be close to me. But I think she is fake because she often say negative words towards others so there is a possibility that she is also doing that to me.
@marymarj2002 (1769)
• Philippines
14 Mar 07
Actually, even if our fight is little as long as she knew she will always intervene. I just hate it. Sometimes I wonder why she just came into our house it is because our helper who is her niece will tell her. So she came there as if she is the heroine who will solve our conflict. I thought she told her niece to tell her everytime she hears that we have a fight. It is so irratating to always see her in the middle during almost of our fights. It seems that our personal life as husband and wife is public. And she even told it to other people about our quarrel. It is so frustrating.
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@jojopuff (520)
• United States
16 Mar 07
Personally, I think if you and your husband are having a fight, it should stay between you guys. I think that is the best way to resolve conflict, and it makes you trust each other more. Going to outside sources, like your husband's mother, isn't a good idea because it only creates more problems than it's worth. We talked about this in marriage counseling, and they were saying that it's common for people to seek outside advice, but that's not what is best for the relationship.
@infinity52 (296)
• Sri Lanka
13 Mar 07
Hello, well i think it is totally stupid tht ur Mother in law gets involved in your fights, and the laughing thing is that she doesnt even stay wit u.. well my mom will not get involved in any of our fights caz it is natural for husband n wife to fight.. but ofcourse if fights get really bad, where u r talking abt divorce n stuff like that.. then maybe there sermons n advice is gud..
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@marymarj2002 (1769)
• Philippines
13 Mar 07
Thank you so much for the response. I really hate it because it seems that she is thinking that she is deeply part of our married life. Of course I respect her for her being a mother to my husband but sometimes her care as she say is beyond limit already. And she always say that she is doing it because of her love for us. I find it a pretention that she love me that much when in fact I am just a new member in their family. I find it as fake.
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