EX-MIL Gave Me a Gift
By Michele21
@Michele21 (3093)
United States
March 31, 2007 10:32am CST
Okay here is the story, I was married when I was 18-19 and had my precious baby girl, the dad was a loser and was more into drugs than having a family. So I left when my daughter was a few months old. She is 6 now and he has not seen her in almost 2 years. His mother does see her on a regular basis and just loves her so much. I am re-married to a great guy anf my daughter considers him her Daddy because the other guy was never around for much. Her other kids are in and out of BAD relationships with all kinds of drama going on. So my ex-mother in law came over a few days ago and brought my daughter a beautiful Easter dress and she had a card for me. I waited until she left to open it because I was kinda nervous-she has never been that nice to me, we have had plenty of problems mainly because she lied when we went to court over custody of my daughter (during the divorce)...but she was always willing to help me with I was single and struggling trying to provide everything for my daughter. So in the card was a letter thanking me and my husband for taking such good care of my daughter and she said she was really thankful becuase she doesn't have to worry about her being taken care of or anything bad happening to her. And there was a $50 gift card to Chili's restaurant in the card, she said she wanted to send us to dinner and offered to watch both of our kids (my son also). It was really nice of her but with her questionable behavior in the past I don't know how to take it. I assume she is just trying to be nice and appologize for all the crap she put us through in the past, and I accept that it is in the past. I am just not sure how to thank her, should I call her, send a card (I will do this anyways) send an e-mail?? What are your thoughts??
2 people like this
6 responses
@kims374 (300)
• United States
2 Apr 07
I would say that she has some kind of alterior motive, etc...maybe trying to bribe you?
I have not spoken to my ex-mother in law since I was seperated from my ex back in 98. she blamed me for him beating me up..and always took his side. I would be gracious for the gift, but just not too overly nice. watch your back!
1 person likes this
@samrat16 (2442)
• India
31 Mar 07
I think she is a nice woman and why all woman arenot like her. Even i'm divorced with my first wife and if you ask me what was the reason it was my mother in law she used to come to my place every second day and made hell of our relationship. Words are important than cards.
I think you can go to her and say you love her for supporting through all odds in life and find her a good woman. You are always there if she needs you in anytime in her life.
1 person likes this
@danishcanadian (28954)
• Canada
4 Apr 07
I suggest giving her a call and thanking her for the gift. Enjoy the opportunity to have a night out with your husband, and the free babysitting. Knowing her as you do, watch her closely, for any signs of "strings" attached to this generous gift. Don't let her try to guilt you because of what she did for you, in that card. If she tries anything, stand up for yourself!
@KrisNY (7590)
• United States
4 Apr 07
Wow-- what a change of heart. I'm guessing she is being honest- heartfelt-- You said she has problems with her other kids as well as her son (your daughters dad)... I'm sure she is so proud of the way you are raising her granddaughter. I think it is great! Maybe she feels terrible for all the pain she caused you- I'd certainly send a card or call her. E-mails are so impersonal. What a great treat for you- and your daughter-- to become closer to her grandmom!
@rsa101 (40966)
• Philippines
6 Apr 07
I would say whatever the ulterior motive might be just thank her for those things that she gave you. You wouldn't really know what is her motive behind it but you could be false in suspecting her. Just keep it in yourself unless you gather more evidences to prove your allegations. I guess she is more apologetic in the way you describe her in your post. So the better gesture for that is to thank her if not from your heart at least show her the gesture that you appreciate her thoughtfulness. The manner is up to you how you will thank her all the options are there to do it.
@tad1fan (3367)
• Canada
3 Apr 07
I think if this was me,I'd allow her into the child's life but be cautious until I was sure she was on the up and up.....I don't think I'd trust someone to fast.....but I wouldn't push her away.....I think I would send her a card,and give her a call.....let her know that there are no hard feelings and you are willing as long as she is.....BUT,I would make a point of talking to her about her sons plans in the future and whether or not he's going to be involved in the future
