Is it Bad to Buy Toys for Boys?

@ashjoe76 (1434)
India
May 10, 2007 3:07am CST
Hey, I guess it rhymes well. Never mind, the question is serious. My friend thinks it is not ok to buy toys/dolls for his boy of four. I know the little chap loves them, but his father is directing him to 'serious' computer games and hoping that the boy would very soon build an analytical mind for himself. I have doubts about the output and worry whether the boy would end up either an emotional wreck or a rebel. The funny thing is that the father doesn't have any objection to buying toys for his two year old daughter. I wonder whether he is fighting with some problems of machismo himself and wants his boy to be 'trained from childhood' the proper way. But I wonder why he cares nothing for what his boy actually needs in life!What do you think about this?
8 people like this
24 responses
@nannacroc (4049)
10 May 07
This father obviously has decided that his boy will benefit from being treated this way. Personally I think he is wrong and children should be provided with the toys thety enjoy playing with regardless of gender. I had all girls but there were cars and train tracks as well as dolls for them to play with. He is not doing himself or his son any favours and the child will grow to resent his sister.
3 people like this
@ashjoe76 (1434)
• India
10 May 07
yes, I think so too.Thanks for the message!
@joluha (342)
10 May 07
What a stupid attitude to have - boys should be able to play with toys, just like girls can...if there is concern regards dolls I can understand..I would not want to buy my two year old a Barbie doll or a dolly that wets and cries..but my little boy does have a buzz lightyear doll, a noddy doll, and many little characters that fit into his cars etc. For older kids there are Batman, Spiderman, TMNT, action man etc...these are all dolls and just as much fun, they just don't - it's all about learning...this poor little boy will probably end up sat in front of his computer, obese and have no friends....sorry if I offend anyone, but this is how it starts and just my opinion.
@emeraldisle (13145)
• United States
10 May 07
Some still very much believe in the stereotype of boys play with certain things and girls with others. It also sounds like he might be trying to push him a bit more then he needs to. That to play these games from the onset will develope his mind faster. It might to some degree but we can only learn things when we are ready to. He needs to take a look around. Let his boy have some toys. Even if it's the typical ones of basketball and the like. The more he pushes him away from wanting to play with the dolls and other toys the more likely he is to want to play with them. He could end up resenting his father from not letting him. Something the father might need to be made aware of. If they are age appropriate toys he should let him play with them.
• Namibia
10 May 07
You have analized the problem very well. He obviously want to build this child into an image of what he wants to be and is only thinking of his own selfish wishes. Children NEED to play and must have the space to discover themself. The child must build his own personallity and if being pushed to early in a direction - he might at a later stage rebel not only against that direction, but against anything that is dear to or associated with the father. Talk to your friend, if he values your friendship he will listen to you. Best of luck.
@jewel76 (2305)
• Canada
10 May 07
So your friend thinks having his 4 year son spend days inside, playing computer and video games is better for him?? I don't get it! I have already warned my hubby, who's a video game addict, that when we have kids, i don't want them to play video games, i want them to play outside, play sports, or yes, even play with dolls. There is nothing wrong with a boy playing with dolls. My brother used to play barbie with me, and he turned out fine. A lot of men think if their boys play with dolls, they might turn out gay or something, but you don't turn out gay, you either are, or aren't, wether you play with dolls or not.
2 people like this
• United States
10 May 07
Boys as well as girls need to have things of their own. This includes toys. The father seems to be steering "only" the boy towards what he wants him to be, but not the daughter. Kids as well as adults need a variety of stimulus in their lives not in only one area. The father is being selfish and trying to create a super kid or an image of what he wishes he was. The boy will become resentful of his sister who is allowed to play with toys when he is not. What his father is doing to him will most likely turn him totally off of computors or things his father wants him to do. It could make him rebelious and resentful. There is nothing wrong with wanting your children to be the best they can be. Start out teaching them right from wrong, moral values, respect for others and themselves and a sense of responsibility. But most of all let them be kids. On a second note, if the boy wants a doll he should have a doll. It will not make him a sissy or confuse his gender. It will teach him to care and nurture something that is important to him. There is a book out called "Williams Doll" by Charlotte Zolotow. It is about a grandmother who wants to give her grandson a doll and the father doesnt want him to have anything that is not boy stuff. "How will he learn to be a loving and caring daddy if he doesnt have a doll(baby) to love". The father needs a reality check. Teach his kids the things that make your life full and complete.
1 person likes this
@loved1 (5336)
• United States
17 May 07
Spoken like a true early childhood professional! You have some valid points here and I could not agree with you more. Children are taught to be prejudiced against things and the idea that toys are gender based is just silly. Any item can be educational if you use it in the right situation. Thanks for sharing your wisdom with us. You get a + from me.
10 May 07
OMG, what an awful story. Toys are an essential part of a child's development, whether they are male of female. Does he not realise children learn through play. I work in a nursery and we have toys for the kids to play with all day. How else do they learn about the world, maths science, language and the special thing kids have IMAGINATION!! This father is depriving his son the opportunity to explore his own environment. This poor boy will end up deprived of social skills if he is stuck on a computer all his days. Kids should be encouraged to learn IT, but as part of their learning, not all. I wouldn't be surprised if the boy will need glasses at a young age. When we have had kids start nursery who have spent along time stuck infront of a computer they need alot of support to try new activities that will extend their learning. Why are so many parents so desperate to have a genius child nowadays. Let them just be kids and they will become intelligent. This way of teaching is certainly not the right way. I do find this quite depressing and when the father discovers later on that his son is lacking social skills or prefers an isolated life, he will know why. If you can have an influence on his decision, please try to change it. What does the mother feel about the whole thing?
1 person likes this
• United States
10 May 07
Um, this guy's fooling himself. Majorly. Children have already developed innate individuality when they're born. You can't just "sculpt" your child into who you want them to be. People are going to be themselves through life, as a person's personality will naturally attempt to maintain a balance through thick and thin as they develop and grow. The only thing limitations can do, obviously, is limit and stifle the child's natural growth. While computer games have shown through studies that they can help develop a child's analytical thinking and hand-eye coordination, life just isn't as simple as that. Too much of just one thing inevitably is bad, and life ultimately cannot be lead by just a simple principle without the full story.
@kitaro (12)
• Indonesia
10 May 07
i think child should be happy, with play toy/doll not computer. IF his father desire to build an analytical mind ,he can do it when his son at 7 years old .
1 person likes this
@kitaro (12)
• Indonesia
10 May 07
i think child should be happy, with play toy/doll not computer. IF his father desire to build an analytical mind ,he can do it when his son at 7 years old .
1 person likes this
@roque20 (518)
• Philippines
10 May 07
I dont think it is bad to buy toys for boys,it depends upon how you handle and discipline your child (boy).Dont give anything unnecessary because it may have bad result or effects because your child may tend to be spoiled and you find it hard ti discipline him.
@sarah22 (3981)
• United States
10 May 07
i would not get him one as a gift, but my son does play with his siters dolls and thats ok
1 person likes this
@kumbarn14 (735)
• Pakistan
10 May 07
You are right, the child should be given the happiness to choose what toys he wants to play. Eventually year by year he is going to change. When boys or girl not given this opportunity of childhood play they grow up to be rugged kids more matured than their age.
@sukumar794 (5047)
• Thiruvananthapuram, India
10 May 07
Providing too much toys to growing up children actually destroys their creative talents.
• Bulgaria
10 May 07
Who talk about too many toys .... but to buy the kid the toy it like. It will be very atractive to watch what can the kid do with one little toy :)
19 Jun 07
No. I had action man and there's nothing at all wrong with it in my opinion. I think people should be aware that those issues come within and not by what you play with. If someone turns out to be "into" another man then so what? It's inside them to begin with, ~Joey
@twoey68 (13651)
• United States
15 May 07
Actually I think all kids should be allowed to play with all kinds of toys...and yes, that means I think boys should be allowed to play with dolls and kitchen sets just like girls. As children we learn by example but also by playing. When little girls play with dolls they are learning the basics of childcare...little boys need to learn this too. The little kitchens and teasets teach children the basics of cooking and dining...again little boys need to learn this too. Some parents (fathers mostly) see it as being a sissy...I think thats their own insecurities. I also feel that little girls should play with trucks, cars and toy tools. They may need it later in life also. LIVE IN PEACE
@GardenGerty (114320)
• United States
11 May 07
Play is a child's work, whether boy or girl. Allowing them a variety of toys makes them healthier and stronger. It does sound like he has some outdated prejudices about boys and girls. Much better than computer games, he should play chess with his child, and yes, they can learn it at four, and be good at it quickly. Children need social interaction. You are wise to note he is not worrying about his child's real needs.
@deebomb (15319)
• United States
11 May 07
Actually I think this father is stunting his son's intellectual growth by not giving him access to a verity of boy or girl toys When this boy goes to school He will need some dexterity and an analytical mind will come from putting things together as well as will computer games in fact better. If you don’t know how thing work how can you change any thing. So do your best to get this dad to get this little boy some toys.
@mari123 (1862)
• China
11 May 07
i don,t think so,boys always be curious with things what they have never seen,and want to probe into the things,so buy toys to the boys can excitated him intelligence,and it is better to their thought .
@Foxxee (3653)
• United States
11 May 07
I can understand why he might not want to buy dolls for his son, but he doesn't let his son play with any toys at all? That sounds sad. A kid without toys and then he sees his sister with all these toys that he can't play with. That is so mean. Sorry, but your friend doesn't know anything about parenting.