I am 27 years old But then My fAtHeR still strict.

@ciades (1623)
Philippines
August 16, 2007 11:53pm CST
I am 27 but my father treated me as like a teenager. I can't still go out easily from our house without his approval. I understand him coz his my father. I know he only protecting us from danger. My father is very protective person. Thats why our confidennce is not that good. We noticed it. Thats why we are trying to renew ourself to become a better person. But we are a better one. My parents especially my father brought as well. But too much protective sometimes can make low of your child self esteem. You, are your father like my father? Is he over protective?
1 person likes this
14 responses
@jbelle (912)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
Yes when I was young or during my teenage life our father is also very strict because he is a half spanish he is very protective and very disciplinarian. We are very afraid of him because sometimes if we go home late he hit us with his belt. And everytime when we quarrels he would get angry to us. But when we studied High school they send us to an exclusive schools and me and my sister stay in the dorm... It was a catholic school run by the nuns. As part of my parents discipline method they wanted us to be a good and refine lady when we grow up. Only every after week ends we get to go home in our hometown. Well I can say that it depends on how to boost our self esteem... Like for me I assert to my dad that im no longer a baby. I already graduated from college. You must show our parents that we are responsible enough in what we do. And here I am today in Manila all alone because I wanted to work and I really believe in the advocacy that says "no guts no glory" when I ask for a permission to work here before they dont have a second thought on it because they trust me and I am honest to them. Imagine life here in manila without close relatives only my best friend but we parted ways now because she is working in Makati and Im here in libis... And I am lucky enough that out of my effort my company will send me to australia next month. Its all because of my effort... I really thanks my parents on how they brought up us though not that rich but they work hard for us to give us a better education and do their best to raise us to be a better person...
2 people like this
@ciades (1623)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
thats great! gud luck to australia and congratulation!
1 person likes this
@jbelle (912)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
Thank you....Ü sorry for the typos... im tired to edit just saw many typos...Ü
2 people like this
@senthil2k (1500)
• India
17 Aug 07
I can understand your problem, since I too faced the same problem few years back. But suddenly, my Parents understood the fact I have grown and its time for them to let me free. The best thing you can do is to do something better, than can prove yourself to your parents, so that they will have more trust on you to let you free.
2 people like this
@ciades (1623)
• Philippines
18 Aug 07
Thats i am doing right now! thanks and good day!:-)
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
17 Aug 07
My dad is not overprotective. He expects us to be careful, but he isn't very strict -I'm your age, and he would never try to impose restrictions on where I could go or what I could do.
2 people like this
@ciades (1623)
• Philippines
18 Aug 07
Good for you..:-)
1 person likes this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
17 Aug 07
My father isn't very strict but he knew how to remind us. I have always been a 'good' daughter. I don't keep anything from them ~ that's why. *LOL* There even came to a point when he gave me money to go out with friends. *LOL* I guess this type of treatment can't be done in all types of children, there are those who really become abusive. And yeah, I guess putting too much pressure on kids by being strict give out self-esteem. But the point is, why is he like that? Is it because of his past experiences? I have an uncle who is hyper-strict. He would even fetch his children one-by-one to where they are. The main reason is that they're having a hard time because of their lack of college diplomas because they weren't able to go to school due to stupidity when they were young (my uncle and aunt). So they don't want things to be like that with their kids. That's why they're over protective. What's your father's reason? I usually joke around to give hints to them that they're being too strict. I'd even ask my dad at times "dad, look for a husband for me if you don't want me going out" hahaha.. and I tell them jokingly "I don't want to be single forever!". You should give them hints that you are no longer a kid. And this treatment would only bring more bad than good for you. Plus come on. 27years old! You should learn to be hard headed at times and don't follow their directions. It's the only way they would realize they can't control you all your life. But of course, don't do things that you'd regret. And don't humiliate them. Just be subtle but always remember to respect.
2 people like this
@laydee (12798)
• Philippines
12 Nov 07
Whoah! I didn't realize you made me best response. :) Thank you though for the gesture. I hope you and your father (parents) are getting along well. How are things by the way?
@jofielc (204)
• United States
17 Aug 07
Yes, my father is like your father. But actually he dont treat me like a teenager, he treat me like a man. But i have to do a lot of things for change that Be pacient, and let him see that your are an adult. Do you pay bills in your home?Do you work?, some of those questions have relation with the situation.
2 people like this
@ciades (1623)
• Philippines
18 Aug 07
Yeh, i do. I am working. And im helping them in our daily expenses but i am not a breadwinner. We helping each other to survive in our daily needs and wants.
@EZhang (165)
• Singapore
17 Aug 07
My father is just as strict as yours. He doesn't even let me spend a night away from home, even for just 1 night.(No, not1 night stands, but chalet outings with my friends and colleagues). From what you mentioned, I presume you must be a girl. It's perfectly alright for him to be worried about you all the time, although I don't really understand why his strictness would make you a less confident person. It should be the case where when parents are strict, the child should be a little more confident. Why so? You're can spend a night out with the thought that if anything goes wrong or something happened, a phone call to your father will have him coming to your rescue when you least expect it or when you really need to be "rescued". I have a friend who's already past 30 years old and she still doesn't have a boyfriend to date, thanks to her really over-protective father (not strict but overprotective). So, in reality, having a strict father doesn't mean the end of the world. In fact, it might be a good thing because you know there will always be someone who will get worried for you most of the time, wherever you are or whatever you might be doing.
@KrauseHome (36449)
• United States
18 Aug 07
Personally for most people they do not have to worry about a Father who is strict when they are 27, as they are not living at home. I am not sure I would have been able to live at home then under strict rule. For me, I feel a parent is only harming themselves and their child if they continue to be too strict with their children in life as they get older, and need to realize sometimes it is time to give their children a chance to grow up and take on some responsibility themselves. What you might want to consider, is finding a Good job if you do not have one, and getting out on your own and learning that there are better things out there in your life for you. Wishing you luck.
@ciades (1623)
• Philippines
21 Aug 07
thanks and gud day:-)
@suzieque (2334)
• Canada
18 Aug 07
I know what you mean. Both my parents are too protective of me as well and treat me like a teenager. And I'm 30 years old! They get mad when I come home at around 11 PM and nag at me to try to get home at around 9:00 pm. I think it's a very common thing for parents to be overprotective of their daughters.
@ciades (1623)
• Philippines
18 Aug 07
:-)
@riyasam (16556)
• India
16 Nov 07
i think i can relate to u in this aspect.though i am married now ,he is still over protective,which irritates my hubby.
@jHoEn16 (2043)
• Australia
18 Aug 07
i dont have a father, but my uncles are strict too... they are like a father to me.. i know that they care about me and i understand it. i am the bread winner and on the other side i am a girl... at first i appreciate it but later on when i grew older i dont understand it already coz its too much... why would they are that strict when i know what i am doing and i know my limitation... i keep telling that to them... but still nothing happen... so i became a rebel child... i went wherever i go whithout asking thier permission... but i kept my limitation... when they saw that i am still keeping my word then they give me my freedom to do whatever i want but still they keep on reminding me whats good and bad.. too much strick to your child will let them do things that they should not do if you just let them... i am not telling parents out there not to care for your kid of not being strick...but dont over do it... be strick when you know that its not a right one... be open to your kid it will help...
1 person likes this
• United States
17 Aug 07
My father was always very protective of me. I am the only daughter... however, that was when I was a teenager! Lets face it, teenagers are stupid and need that discipline! Now, I am 29... I will gladly listen to and ask for my fathers advice, but living at home and not having the option of being an adult... NO WAY... I have been on my own since I was 18.
1 person likes this
@Daelin (683)
• Brazil
17 Aug 07
My sister is older than you and my mother still wants to know where she is. I understand her because the world is a very dangerous place to be and a mother will still be a mother no matter how old you are. The same for the father. She tries to reassure my parents telling where she is going. Try and do the same and maybe your father will trust you more.
@ranitam22 (1146)
• United States
18 Aug 07
I am 27 as well and my father is definitely not overprotected. Mainly because we live in two different cities, but even when we didn't he gave me suggestions on questions I had, but he doesn't expect to listen to everything he says and do it. He's hurting you more than protecting you by not letting you make your own decisions and be an adult. But if you are still living under their roof, I can't really say much because it is their home.
1 person likes this
• China
15 Nov 07
in my family,my dad doesn't have so much time to do those things like your father. he alwaye agree any my idea and support i .he loves me and thinks i should have my mind. maybe your father loves you too much ,and in his eyes ,you are a teenager all the way.the whole reson is he loves you very much! but i think you should tell your father your idea and talk with him so that he can know you.