Non-Responders
By ivyoon
@ivyoon (673)
United States
August 26, 2007 8:38pm CST
Have you noticed that some people start discussions here on myLot and when you respond, they never answer you? This kind of upsets me.
I mean, if you take the time to post a discussion, wouldn't you want to see if anyone has anything of substance to say about what you are discussing? I have posted responses to many discussions in the last few weeks and many of them have no acknowledgment of my response at all.
I think that if people can take the time to start discussions, they should be sure to respond to everyone who responds to them. It's only fair. I don't mind when no one responds to a discussion that I start, but if someone does, I at least let them know that I am happy for their response. I mean, isn't that what a discussion is? A series of responses? If you wanted to discuss something with me in person and didn't respond to something that I said, I probably wouldn't want to talk to you anymore.
The fact that people start discussions here and never acknowledge their responses tells me that these people are merely starting discussion after discussion in the hopes of earning big money on myLot... have they read the myLot guidelines? myLot wants substance.
The people who start discussions and never go back to them are probably the very same people who complain (in NEW discussions no less!) that they don't make enough money here on myLot!!
So, what about you? Do you respond to people who have added comments to your discussions? Have you had discussions that you've responded to, only to find that the person who started the discussion never even gave you a thank you?
7 people like this
25 responses
@pyewacket (43903)
• United States
27 Aug 07
It's not necessarily that a person who starts a discussion doesn't want to acknowledge a person's response...sometimes one has to be patient. We are human after all, and I say this, since, quite often I do start discussions, and I always want to respond to a reply someone has taken the time to write out....My biggest fault and I'll admit it, is that I practically live in front of my computer...I do an awful lot of work on one, between writing articles, scanning and digitizing my photo work, etc. etc....I'm the type of person who really does need sixty hours in a day to accomplish everything, but I do admit, I sometimes fall behind with a real back load of discussions I need to respond to and it's hard for me to catch up. Then there are even days, where something comes up and I just can't be here...even silly reasons...Like not long ago, I had to keep my computer off since we were having terrible thunder/lightening storms..and for the safety of my computer, kept it off...but eventually I do try to catch up and reply..It just takes time. So don't be disappointed if you responded to a discussion and the person hasn't acknowledged your reply....they will no doubt eventually
2 people like this
@beyondbear75 (20)
• China
27 Aug 07
I think we should forgive some people, because of all kind of reasons,but we should do our best to do well.
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
You're right. There have been times when I was away from my computer for a day or two and it is hard to catch up afterwards. I take things too personally on all levels, not just here on myLot, lol!
I think I need to relax and remember that there are a lot of people on here, and a lot of discussions. Plus the other factors.
I'll just try to understand in the future that people do have life beyond the web!!
Thank you both for your responses.
1 person likes this
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
27 Aug 07
I think we have to take into consideration a lot of things. Some people will start a number of discussions and then go on vacation or in my case I just started a new job and am having quite a time getting to all of the discussions that I had started. Then there are always the members who only start discussions for the money they will earn and I don't think they realize they also earn from responding to the responders.
2 people like this
@balasri (26537)
• India
27 Aug 07
It is a basic decency to say something when a person responds to your discussion.When you take the liberty of asking something to a group you have the decency and responsibility to respond to their reactions.The problem is with the attitude and upbringing I think.
Here lady kept on bombarding questions at a break neck speed.I became her friend and responded to half a dozen of her discussions.But no responses from her .She was too busy creating more discussions leaving us behind in a limbo.I just smiled and deleted her from my friend's list.Friendship has a meaning.Isn't it?
1 person likes this
@balasri (26537)
• India
29 Aug 07
I have the option of mail notification in my g mail.Whenever I come online I just open and see the string of responses.Then I start to respond in the order of the arrival time of the mails.After finished responding I go to post new ones If i get good ideas or else respond to the discussions of my friends.If you discipline yourself in whatever you do I think you can find time to be decent enough to respond to the people.I don't think that nobody is that busy to the level of ignoring others.
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
I think she probably just didn't have time to respond to everyone because she had too many discussions posted at once.
If you look at the string of responses to THIS discussion, you'll see that many people just don't have the time to respond to everyone, and sometimes just don't know what to say.
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
27 Aug 07
I'm glad I'm not one of those people. In fact, that's my top priority as soon as I log into my lot everyday. I check the responses to my discussions and rate and comment on each and every one of them. That's the most important to me, since as you said otherwise it stops being a "discussion" and is more like one way traffic.
I enjoy going back to discussions I've responded to and continue the conversation, but it's disappointing when you find out that the discusser didn't care enough to comment back on your response.
And I must admit, I love it when people do comment and you carry on a conversation with them.
In fact, in this regard I'm even a little biased when it comes to giving out best responses. I usually give it to the person who comes back and checks on their responses and comments back on my comments and the conversation goes on, and it doesn't even make a difference if they agreed with me in the first place. It's just about having a substantial conversation.
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
Yes, this is how I felt when I started this conversation, however, I've come to realize that people just don't have time to respond to all their discussions' responses. I learned that the hard way. This discussion got nearly 30 responses in two days and I didn't log in yesterday, so now I've got almost 30 responses to do!!
I can now appreciate the fact that not everyone has time to respond.
Some people don't get a chance to log in every day, sometimes they may have computer problems, and sometimes they just don't know what to say!
Also, there are times when people just forgot about one of their discussions and don't go back to it. I can understand that.
thanks for you're reply. I'm going to try not to take it personally when people don't respond. I'm sure they have reasons.
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
29 Aug 07
I agree. It seems that I find myself responding to other peoples' discussions or to the comments on my own discussions more than I find myself starting new discussions. In fact, I try not to start new discussions until the ones I already started have fizzled out.
Right now, I've got three or four discussions going at once because I had questions for people, and I'm finding it hard to keep up with responses. But, I like to try to keep conversations alive, so I'll respond as much as I can as long as I have something to say!
1 person likes this
@vega83 (6342)
• Bahrain
29 Aug 07
Yeah, I guess they could have their own reasons, and I remember when I didn't have internet for a week, my responses piled up, it took me a while to get through all of them, but I eventually did.
I think most people would feel like if they don't make responses and only comments then they don't make money. But that's not true, some days, all I do is comment on my discussions because there are so many responses, and I make the same amount of money as I would if I was responding to others' discussions instead.
@sid556 (30960)
• United States
27 Aug 07
it depends on the discussion and how I answered it. Some really have nothing to add to or respond back to. I really don't mind much. I assume that the person did go back and read the responses and either had nothing to say or that my response was not helpful or maybe too busy to respond to each and every one. It is time consuming and I really don't need a "thankyou" each time I post. As for me, I don't start many discussion and those that I do, I am really looking for answers and responses. I do respond back to most of them...or i try to anyway.
1 person likes this
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
27 Aug 07
Hi ivyoon..I've noticed the same thing where I have responded to discussions and have gotton no reply back from the person who started the discussion I've gotton many from other people but sometimes not the person who started the discussion..My emails are kind of slow about getting my responses to me on my topics but I go in a check daily to see if someone did respond that way I can respond to them...
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
I've learned that sometimes people are just too busy.
Also, I don't get my responses via email, I have to log in to check them. I made it that way because I get many emails from other sites and don't want to overwhelm my inboxes. I guess sometimes people are too busy or have nothing of substance to say.
@BlueAngelRS (2899)
• Canada
29 Aug 07
I can completly understand that...I have a 15 month old and my son starts back at school tomorrow he is 14 years old and I won't beable to logg on as much for my discussions less she is sleeping but then there is my daily chores lol..
@cutepenguin (6431)
• Canada
28 Aug 07
Sometimes I start a discussion and don't respond to the comments. Because I can't think of what to say, and I feel awkward just posting thank you, without saying anything about what they said. So then I just decide to think about it for a bit, and then it gets to be longer, and more time has passed, and I can't figure out what to do.
I've always thought a discussion was more like a conversation, and when I talk to people, I don't always thank them for responding to me, I usually just listen to what they say and then say something back.
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
You're right. That's what a discussion is all about, and that's why I was getting upset when someone wouldn't respond, but if a person has nothing to say, how can they respond to me? I have learned that by this discussion and I feel bad that I've put so many people on the spot for not responding. Everyone has their own reasons for not responding to discussions and I'm sure they are all good reasons.
@DesigningLife (903)
• United States
28 Aug 07
I think it's polite and more fun to engage in conversations with the OP or respond to those who post if you ARE the OP.
I did get chewed out once by someone who responded to one of my discussions for interacting with everyone who replied...he claimed I was trying to make more money or something silly. I offered him ALL of my MyLot earnings if he supplied me his paypal email since I don't come here for income...I do that elsewhere online from home...but he never gave it to me. Oh well, can't win for losing sometimes. ;)
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
Yes, just today, someone pointed out on this thread that we aren't supposed to just thank everyone who responds to us because that lacks substance, but if we've got something to say to the person, I see no problem with responding to every single one of them. I did it with this discussion, but that itself helped me to understand why some people don't respond to every comment.. I've been responding to this discussion alone for the last hour and a half!
Thanks for your response.
@worldwise1 (14885)
• United States
27 Aug 07
I try to always comment on responses when I start a discussion, ivyoon, however, there are times when I must leave my computer for awhile and neglect to get back in a timely fashion. The only other reason I might be slow in responding is that I usually find my most recent discussions on my homepage. If I don't see them it will eventually occur to me to go to my profile page. The only responses I won't comment on are those with only a couple of words or the ones that are unintelligent.
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
Actually, someone pointed out to me that just saying "thanks for your response" is against myLot guidelines. I read the guidelines today, and they're right. They don't want us to do that because just saying thank you is not adding any substance to the conversation. We're only supposed to respond if we have something of substance to add to the discussion. Not just say thank you.
@lexus54 (3572)
• Singapore
27 Aug 07
I do encounter cases whereby after responding, I only hear silence, but much of the time, I do get responses from the originators of the discussions. In principle, I think it is good etiquette to offer a reply, even if it is just a simple thank you or acknowledgement. Some people though may have initiated many discussions, and don't find enough time to react quickly enough to every thread they started. Some people may not be able to log in daily, or are too busy with work or commitments, so only come here occasionally. I have received acknowledgements weeks after I posted, but I don't really mind. To be frank, I can't really keep track which originator didn't come back with an acknowledgement for which of my responses, because there are just too many to remember.
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
You're right. Many people post and respond to tons of discussions on here, and I guess it gets overwhelming. Especially if you don't log in on a day to day basis. I've found it hard today to respond to everyone who posted to this discussion! Wow, it really makes me see how powerful a few words can be when a lot of people are involved.
I've got to relax and not take it personally when people don't respond to me. thanks!
@sandwedge (1339)
• Malaysia
28 Aug 07
i notice if when a discussion first started, there are usually replies to the response the discussion generated. as the discussions gets longer, the the replies by the owner of the discussion thins out.
but then there are many other reasons why the owner of the discussion did not reply to the responses. too many response, too many discussions plus its responses, he is away from computer for extended time, busy with real life, computer crash, unable to understand response, too busy with other discussion where they are having a heated argument, etc etc
personally i prefers no replies to my response instead of the canned reply of , "thank you for replying. have a nice day".
1 person likes this
@abbamoney (66)
• Vietnam
27 Aug 07
depends. sometimes i received some respond, and i reply them too. i think it just depends on the person.
1 person likes this
@Maggie5456 (17)
• Hong Kong
28 Aug 07
i am a new man in here,altouht my english is poor,i want to join in discussion.until now ,no one responsed me,i fell very upset...
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
I think sometimes people aren't sure how to respond if your English isn't good, but that seems unfair. I at least try to respond to the person, and if I don't understand what they've said, I always ask them to clarify it for me.
Keep responding and people will respond back to you!
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
Yes, through my research, I understand that it's not proper to just respond to all of our comments with "thank you", but I was referring to those who never respond to any of their comments. Why do these people start a discussion and never get back to it?
Thanks for taking the time to help me out.
@dpk262006 (58675)
• Delhi, India
27 Aug 07
You are right in your observations, some of the members do not post any comments on the replies received by them, it really looks very bad to me, atleast, I suppose, when I am going to reply, my reply must be acknowledged to have been read by the host of the discussion.
I make it a point to post my comments on the replies received by me.
You try to answer my discussions, you would find my comments on your replies, I will not disappoint you.
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
That is a good thing. Now I have come to the realization that many people have too many discussions to respond to, don't have time to respond to them, or have nothing to say. I also received a response letting me know that people sometimes just rate a response and don't actually respond back.
There are a lot of factors involved that I never considered.
It's hard to respond to everyone. I learned that the hard way with this discussion, since it has received nearly 30 responses since I started it, and I didn't log in yesterday!
@whyaskq (7523)
• Singapore
27 Aug 07
Personally, I would not jump to the conclusion that these "non-responders" start a discussion in the hope of earning big money because making big money here is a overstatement :P
In my opinion, whether the response is of substance or not does not lies on the respondent, but the person receiving the response. The response may not be what the poster is looking for and hence see no need to response. Or that there is nothing the original poster can contribute to discuss further. Hence, I only respond when I see a need to. However, that does not mean I do not read responses and do not rate them.
Though it might be polite to thank the person who take time to respond to your discussion, the thank you gesture is not consider a response of substance and is not recommended by mylot.
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
You're right. I don't like to just say thank you to someone who has responded to me. It really doesn't have any substance.
I've also learned that people have lives outside of myLot which may not allow them to be logged in on a regular basis. I guess I was being rather selfish when I expected every person I've responded to to respond back to me. People are busy. I know I am too.
@irishmist (3814)
• United States
27 Aug 07
I think people don't respond for different reasons. Yes there are a lot of people that post many discussions in a row, and they tend to be one liner questions, and I leave a comment, but I don't expect them to respond to my comment. I feel they are trying to make money fast. At the moment I'm trying to play catch up on my computer, as I have been having problems with my wireless service. I also have a job that requires me to be away from home on weekends. Plus I have to go through all my pay sites each day, and everything else I do on my computer. When I log onto mylot I like to check on my friends first, and it takes time. Sometimes there doesn't seem to be enough hours in a day to get everything done on my computer.
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
I hear what you're saying. Sometimes I'm on the computer from 6am until 12am or later. It's a sickness, really! I think I just need to get a life (other than the computer!)
Also, I don't start or respond to as many discussions as I'd like to on here, because of all the other things I do on my computer, but if I did post and respond more, I imagine it would become very difficult to keep up with it. thanks for your post!
@ladybug565 (2216)
• United States
27 Aug 07
I try to respond to everyone who responds to my discussions but some days I just run out of time but I will go back and respond another time. although I havent checked some of my older discussions in a while then there are a couple that I just have no idea what to say that I havent allready said to someone else.
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
That's a good point. There have been times where I'm not really sure what to say to someone and my response probably doesn't really add to the discussion. That's not a good thing. We need substance, and I guess there are just some times when the answer wouldn't really bring enough substance to the conversation. I'm trying to relax from now on, and not take it personally if the person doesn't respond to me.
Thanks!
@Thirteenth (291)
• Malaysia
27 Aug 07
I've seen some discussions in which the original poster never responded at all. I thought it was weird too. What's the point in asking a question if you don't care about the answers?
I mean, I don't expect people to always comment on my responses, but when they don't comment on any responses at all, I think that's just silly. And uh... do you know that the myLot guidelines actually tell you *not* to thank everyone who responds to your topics?
1 person likes this
@ivyoon (673)
• United States
28 Aug 07
I did see that, and I think the reason they put that in there is so that people don't just reply back with "thanks" on every single response they give back.
Personally, there have been times when I just wasn't sure how to respond to someone's comment.
You bring up another good point, the fact that some people don't respond to anyone in their discussion. This is what I'm talking about... I mean, why ask a question if you don't want an answer?
Thanks!
