Do you spank your kids to discipline them?
By raulgc01
@raulgc01 (306)
Philippines
September 21, 2007 9:00am CST
We are proud to say that the Filipinos love and respect their parents more than most westerners. That's because our parents have properly taught their children the right discipline. Most Filipinos use the stick to discipline their children, but that is accompanied by a sound advise and explanation as to why they have to be spunk.
7 people like this
25 responses
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
21 Sep 07
I do spank my daughter and she is 13. I have always spanked. I don't use anything but my hand. I did have a paddle for awhile. My daughter is very respectful, she listens to me and she respects me. It is not fear as others might think. She knows that there is a punishment for her wrong doing. I think this world has come to a point where we are so scared that someone might turn us in for child abuse that we don't discipline our kids anymore and now our kids don't know that there are repurcussions to their actions, they have no respect and they have no guidance. I have seen that among my daughters friends and it irritates me to no end, and guess what, none of their parents discipline their kids.
4 people like this
@StrawberryKisses (2833)
• Canada
22 Sep 07
You know that is such a load of crap. I know alot of parents that do spank and their kids are worse then others who don't get spanked. Kids need to be taught to take responsibility for their actions not that they are going to be beat for doing somethin wrong. If someone steals from a store what happens??? They go to court and sometimes goes to jail, is that in anyway getting hit???? How can you tell you kids not to hit if you hit them???? If they lie to you and you find out and hit them for it then they are going to learn that when their friends lie to them they have every right to hit them for it. We are supposed to be teaching our children that violence is not the answer to our problems and that when we have problems we communicate and get it worked out. Now PLZ explain to me how you can justify HITTING your children??
@mamasan34 (6518)
• United States
22 Sep 07
Hitting and spanking are very different things. I also would advise you to be careful in how you word things. Saying my way of doing things is a load of crap is very judgmental on your part. No one is judging you for the way you discipline or don't discipline your kids. This is my opinion and how I raise my child. I don't walk into your house and tell you your doing wrong. This is an open forum for people's opinions. As for justifying, I don't have to justify my self to you, but I will say this. My daughter knows that hitting others is wrong. When I spank, I also make sure she knows what she was spanked for, that there is cause and effect. I spank my daughter open handed on her bottom, I do know hit her anywhere. She knows that fighting is wrong and that she needs to work her problems out in other ways, and guess what, she doesn't hit, get into fights, she is very intelligent and very kind to others. So, what works for me in my house, may not work for you, but don't judge me that is God's job. You seem to be a very judgmental person and I would hesitate to say, you need to clean your house before you start cleaning mine.
3 people like this
@youless (112123)
• Guangzhou, China
21 Sep 07
No, I don't agree to it. I like to be reasonable and prefer to use some tender way. Spanking children isn't my way. Although it's hard for a little child to understand how to be reasonable, but at least you have to patient and sometimes it works.
@ctrymuziklvr (11057)
• United States
21 Sep 07
Unfortunately for us using a stick to discipline our children in the US would get us into a lot of trouble. It's considered child abuse. I never hit my kids in any way when they were growing up and luckily for me they still turned out to be quality adults.
3 people like this
@beyond_tomorrow (102)
• India
22 Sep 07
that's good to hear that their children- parent relation are good.
No. Discipline should help children learn how to control their own behavior. Spanking is used to directly control child's behavior. Spanking does not teach children how to change what they do, as good discipline should.
I never spanked my children and 'll not do so in future too.
3 people like this
@beyond_tomorrow (102)
• India
22 Sep 07
that's good to hear that their children- parent relatiosn are good.
No. Discipline should help children learn how to control their own behavior. Spanking is used to directly control child's behavior. Spanking does not teach children how to change what they do, as good discipline should.
I never spanked my children and 'll not do so in future too.
3 people like this
@Zhukov (106)
• Norway
22 Sep 07
This may sound weird,i never been it my my folks but i wish my parents beat the hell outa me when i was a kid lol, man, all the stupid things i did, and if i talked back they should have just smacked the hell outa me lol, hitting dosent mean anything, its just a more serious form of saying "do as i say, u still a kid".
3 people like this
@cuddlebug79705 (2003)
• United States
22 Sep 07
I believe in spanking a child, but with nothing but a hand, a stick seems way too abusive. i also use the time out method and grounding my son and I'm proud to say he is a good child. He says please and thank you, minds his manners, is a happy and healthy child.
2 people like this
@mommy20212004 (350)
• United States
22 Sep 07
I don't use spanking very often, but there are some instances where I think it is necessary. Luckily my kids rarely bring me to a point where I have to spank them.
2 people like this
@ian1010 (459)
• Philippines
22 Sep 07
i really do believe that hurting them won't make them respect you., they are just disciplined because they don't want to be hurt.,not that they respect you.,
besides most psychologists would agree that it's a very bad thing for a child.,it will impair the child's development
1 person likes this
@raulgc01 (306)
• Philippines
22 Sep 07
That may only be the case if you spank them without explaining to them why. That is why I'm very keen on saying that you must also explain what was that for. From the responses, you can gather that even the respondents who were spunk when they were kids agree that parents really need the stick.
@wendyyuwie74 (68)
• United States
21 Sep 07
I am the proud mother of 4 and yes i have had to spank them, you know what now that they are older I dont have to spank them any more. I use a wonderful system called the 1,2,3 system. Guess what it works still now with my 15 yr old. Of course i dont spank him now but he knows that if i start to count i mean buisness and he knows that if I get to 3 something is going to happen that he will not like. I only had to spank them when they were young. I used my hand and a paint stick. no what its not abuse in the US unless you leave marks. I only spank for big deals never for small stuff. that is where 1,2,3 comes in handy too, cause if ur in the store and ur child is being bad u start counting and if taught at home right they will stop so u dont have to spank in public. maybe just once to proove you'll do it but i found the bathroom is good and private . a small spanking goes a long ways.
@libertarianfreedom21 (3198)
• United States
22 Sep 07
Spanking would be the very last resort for me. I only have a stepkid though for now. (but when i have kids itll be the same) I usally take something away or something like that have a talk. Hes a very respectful kid and we rarley have problems with him. Hopefully it will never come down to a spanking
2 people like this
@meaculpa (338)
• Philippines
21 Sep 07
According to studies, spunking is harmful to children esp. if the parent was not able to explain to them the reasons why and all was left was bitterness, pain.
I have 3 kids (6yr girl, 4yr boy, 1yr girl), verbal discipline is the best. However, there comes a time that I need to use the spanking rod. I am both a father and mother to them for my hubby is working overseas. I am a home-maker right now, I stay and see my kids' attitude.
The spanking discipline is my last recourse, verbal is the first.
The spanking hurts them but for a while, I will explain to them why and what not to do for this will be the consequence of their action.
I see that this discipline works because they are afraid of the pain it will give them and would behave properly.
Rules in the house should be clear. I observed that my kids are intelligent and keen so I need to be consistent.
Lastly, I pray to God that He gives me patience, understanding, to discipline my kids for they are His gift to us.
3 people like this
@laura20 (128)
•
21 Sep 07
My brother and I have turned out fine, because our parents were not afraid to dish out good hidings when we deserved them. We used to get a canvas shoe across our backsides in the privacy of our bedrooms. There has never been any resentment because we realised it was a 'fair cop.' When the time comes for me to get married, I shall let my husband know that in certain circumstances I consider physical punishment to be totally appropriate.
2 people like this
@tholitz (1127)
• Philippines
5 Jun 08
As much as possible, I restrain myself from spanking my children. Well I really don't know why, but I feel that spanking them will never do any good to them. I just discipline them in other means and way around. But there are also instances that I spank them particularly whenever I lost my temper and control. Maybe it's because of the burst of my anger when they don't want to stop the bad things that they were doing.
@youless (112123)
• Guangzhou, China
15 Oct 07
No, I don't like spanking my child to discipline him. I don't think it is a good way to teach a child what to do and what not to do. I tend to use some tender way. I am afraid the spanking will lead to a violence. It is bad for children.
1 person likes this
@nyumix (1658)
• Belgium
22 Sep 07
No, I never do like that to my children. I don't think it's my way to make my children more discipline. I believe there is another way to do that without spanking your kids. And so far, I manage them without physical punishment.
@foxygirle (376)
• Philippines
16 Oct 07
As much as possible, i dont like to spank my daughter. But if she's not behaving and is disrespectful, then i have no choice but to spank her (but only with my hand).
1 person likes this
@azizanightshade (41)
• United States
5 Jun 08
i think to be fair to the kids, spanking shouldn't be the first thing that you do discipling wise. your kids should also understand what they did wrong, and why they shouldn't do it again (other than to not get spanked). every child, parent, and home is different, so i think that you need to use what works best for you and your circumstances.
Personally, i was spanked as a child, but i was also told WHY i was being spanked. it was usually discipline for a repeated action, and just talking/scolding didn't work. i plan to use the same method that my mother did, mainly because it was fair and didn't lean to either the passive or the aggressive side (right in the middle).
@freedomg (1684)
• United States
5 Jun 08
I used spanking (with my hands only) when my kids were younger,and there was always an explanation along with it. I have found though that the older my kids get the less spankings work, you have to get creative in order for it to stick in there minds. By creative I mean things like when we started getting a lot of calls from my oldest sons teachers that class has become a social event for him, we took away his "cool" clothes and bought him dockers and polo shirts, and cut his hair. This was just horrid for a goth kid and we saw instant changes in his additude. As the grades came up he earned back his stuff a little at a time.I also use rewards for the good behavior, I want them to do good because it feels good not just because they are afraid of the punishment if they do bad. BTW all of my kids seam to be doing well and are very respectful. And I'm a lucky mom.
1 person likes this
