Sibling Greed?

@webeishere (36353)
United States
October 18, 2007 10:39am CST
Most members here know about my dads health and situation living in a home for the time being. Somwe also know that I have a drug and alcohol abusing younger brother that will gifht in court to try and get every penny he can and then some once dad passes away. I have an older brother whom is at the time power of attorney for dad. He is 56 and lives in Michigan. I also have a sister whom is 57 living in California. I took my father in as I am the closest one to dads farm other than the younger addict whom dad and noone else has much contact with to this day. Now this morning I got a shocking call from my sis in California. She did not ask how dad was doing at all. Then she asked about dads finances and how much money he had. Unfriggin real. She has never been the type to do this and it was a real shocker. She is so concerned about her retirement that she called asking how much she'd be getting and when she'd get it. So I just wanted to share the type of stres that's popping up now days with this. I can't believe the greed in siblings. Ughhh! I am fed up with all but my older brother in Michigan as far as taking care of dad and issues about dad. Anyhow thanks for letting me vent some frustration adn relive a little stress here. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
8 people like this
11 responses
• Canada
18 Oct 07
I am so sorry that this is happening to you hun. Sometimes in situations like this peoples true colours really do come out, and in your sisters case they have. I am so glad that your dad had you close by to take care of him, you are such a great person for doing that! I hope things get better and you have a great day! Love & Hugzz, Your Friend, PurpleTeddyBear ;)
4 people like this
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Thanks. he had no other choice as he refused to go anywhere else as it meant a long long drive or flying. Now seems he either goes in the home permanently or to Michigan with my older brother. That will be decided vwery soon I think as well. Thanks again. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@creematee (2810)
• United States
18 Oct 07
ARGH! I had to scream for you, too, Bob. Isn't that frustrating when you know what people REALLy want? I'm glad to know that your brother is still level headed enough to know what is going on. If you want, I'll send a virtual slap on the cheek to your sister to make sure she wises up before something worse happens to your dad. (let's hope that NEVER happens!) :) take care, my dear friend!
4 people like this
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Yeah it's very frustrating especially as she has never shown this type of behavior etc. I am glad he is the one that has to deal with the dispersement after dad passes. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@TerryZ (22083)
• United States
18 Oct 07
I know I hear you about that. I hate family issues. It sounds like she is selfish thats all. Money is the root of all evil. And I truely believe this! And its really ashame. But not all of us are like that. You hang in there your a good person for taking such good care of your dad. And some day you will be rewarded.
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
18 Oct 07
yes it does seem she was sounding greedy and or selfish at the time. She's never been like this is my problem. And she did not mention money in any other aspect other than what she is getting when he passes or whenever. Thanks for the compliment. But as of right now I have talked to my older brother and dad is either staying in the home if he desires or he will have to fly to Michigan to saty with my older brotyher as the stress has finally gotten to me. Thanks again fro the support and all. ESPECIALLY THE COMPLIMENTS. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
Sorry about it grandpa, it's really frustrating and heart-breaking at times. I'd like to share you something from my father's family, as they used to be 11 siblings (13 if the twins have lived). He's the eldest and he worked at a very young age, hassled he's way into crowded streets selling rice cakes just to support his parents. They are very poor back then, he's father a cab driver and mother as a house-keeper. But with him the eldest, he still supports his parents up until now. All of his siblings also have their own families, but other's are still a pain in the a$$. Luckily, inspite of all the hard ships and head aches he's gotten into, some of his siblings went out and did their share to support also. This just shows how greatful most of them are, they still offer help whenever needed and give whenever asked to. I also wish that you're family realizes this too, you all have to gather together and support one another until time allows you all to do so..
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
18 Oct 07
gREAT TALE TO SHARE HERE WITH US MEMBERS. tHANKS A LOT FOR THIS ALSO. tHERE ARE SOME FAMILY MEMBERS THAT RESPECT THE OTHER SIBLINGS AND i AM ONE. i DID NOT SAY A THING TO MY SISTER BAD ABOUT HER QUESTIONS. i JUST FELT IT BEST TO KEEP QUIET and inform my oldest brother so he knows what to expect at dads passing when it happens. She was unreal in thias aspect. Not her style usually. Guess all people change at some time in their lives. She wauted till now. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@raijin (10373)
• Philippines
18 Oct 07
Same here grandpa, I just wish you always all the best and hope you settle everything to live a happy and peaceful life!;)
3 people like this
@tinamwhite (3255)
• United States
18 Oct 07
As you know, I recently went through this type of situation and it is truly assounding just how petty the family members who seem to be lost in the woods during the life of our dear loved ones will crawl out on their bellies when the sniff of a dollar bill hits the air... I am so sorry that your Dad's health has deteriorated and a home is necessary now...I know the bitterness that siblings and other relatives can cause in the middle of such a devastating time in your life... You, like me, have always been there for your father and will share none of the burdon of guilt that the others will have....take solice in the fact that you got to spend many hours with your father that can not be taken away from you and the relationship that you share will always hold a special place.... I am so sorry that your family has chosen to react in this manner and that you are once again having to deal with these types of ordeals in your life, my friend... Wishing you all the best, as always!!
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
18 Oct 07
yes they tend to get very greedy and petty as well. Even before his passing is what's so annoting actually. I know dad truely respects me for taking care of him for so long now also. I think it's been 3 or 4 years now. I forget when he moved in with us actually. But I love him and had to take care of him as a son. Thanks also. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
2 people like this
@Fishmomma (11383)
• United States
19 Oct 07
I think its sad when siblings fight over money. My feeling is that everyone should share equally, if the parents want their children to have money. When my husband's parents passed away their bank account went to my husband's brother, as he took care of them in their last years which was hard. My mother-in-law passed away from lung cancer and was very sick for over a year and father-in-law needed help just doing simple things. Its sad when you can't live on your own, so my husband's brother moved in with them. He couldn't go anywhere for four years, so we felt he should receive the money. We will receive 1/2 of the money when the house is sold and plan to use it to buy a house. It doesn't matter how much we receive, as any money is more than we thought would come to us.
@jillhill (37379)
• United States
18 Oct 07
Did you tell her how much it cost to have your dad in a nursing home? Did you tell her their might not be much left? I know many families break apart or don't speak to each other after all is said and done. We were lucky in my family...it all went well! Good luck!
2 people like this
@webeishere (36353)
• United States
18 Oct 07
I said nothing to her about the finances. But she will learn soon enough I feel. HAPPY POSTINGS FROM GRANDPA BOB !!~
1 person likes this
@Zelmarq (12298)
• Cebu City, Philippines
18 Oct 07
Oh, thats really sad news grand pa bob. I dont know why such siblings exist and I am just glad that you are not that type like your brothers and sister. Its a relief that you are now the one taking care of your dad and not mindful of all the things that would connect to financial and other motives and selfish agenda. Its great that through mylot you cant vent and expres your feelings about just anything. Though lately I was not able to actively post and reply for I guess I have come to the point of being lazy and i am rying to fight back and need to get back on my feet and post more discussions here. I have been stuck on this number and have no imrpovement lately but I long to improve it the next couple of days. Have a nice day grand pa bob, hugs and isses for your father.
• United States
30 Oct 07
sorry to hear that:( my mom's brothers were both like that.they had nothing to do with my grandmother until she fell gravely ill.then it was what's she got,how much,what's the house worth? it's fairly disgusting,you're right.
@blackbriar (9080)
• United States
23 Oct 07
It's sad that your brothers and sister are like that but it's normal. I can just see the fights my bro and I are going to have when our mom passes away. I want her to sell the house and have the proceeds split between us but my bro wants the house. Why, I have no clue since he has a house on 80 acres in WI they are moving to next year. I don't want the house myself cause I'm happy where we are now with a house we had built.
@GardenGerty (113719)
• United States
21 Oct 07
I do not know about your sister. Maybe she is scared to ask the important questions, like "Do you think he will ever recover, and come home?" or "How long do you think we can keep him alive?" Maybe the greed is just a defense mechanism. I hope so. It is sad to think that she would turn this way in her mature years. Maybe she thinks you have had a life of monetary luxury because you dad lives with you. I hope that chatting here with friends helps your stress over this situation.