Mary ~ She No Longer Remembers Names

This story is so sad, but also inspiring in a way. To think that even if she doesn't remember, she wants people to talk to her, and loves them still. I know a lot of people who, once they start being unable to remember people, would rather be left alone and shut themselves in their homes to avoid these kinds of encounters. Mary must be an extraordinary woman!

That is terrible. I'm very sorry to hear that. I guess she must have a touch of Alheimers? It is awful to see bad things like that happen to good people. It is amazing that she still has the love for people though. she has not forgot to do that.

That was a very sad story but unfortunately that is one of many things that happen as one gets older. I was very glad to see you did not say she was unhappy and seems to know what is going one in her life even although she can't remember everything.

This is sad but all to true. I worked in a nursing home and I have gone back to visit since I quit working there and some of the elderly people that I would sit and talk to don't know who I am. They still smile at me and we do hold conversations but it somehow isn't the same. Because the one thing I have noticed as you say about Mary is the sparkle has left their eyes. It is a sad thing to see.

That is so sad and sweet and touching! How wonderful it is that you were able to see your friend Mary again. And I must say, you have shared your account of the latest meeting with such eloquence. What a delight to read! Mary sounds very happy. That is often the case when dementia is involved. The people with the dementia seem to get along just fine, but the people around them, such as their friends and family, have a very difficult time adjusting to the new person their loved one is becoming. (unless of course the situation arises when the person with the dementia gets scared and doesn't recognize anyone or anything). For Mary's sake, I hope that her love of people never leaves her.

bujtterfly thats just so sad. Poor Mary and I bet she was once the most loving and happy person imaginable and I guess she is still loving. this reminds me of my own moms last year. she was the same way and the Alzenheimers just took her away little by little. the last time I saw her she hugged me and then said I should know you but honey I cannot remember . I was crying in spite of myself and she called my son Robbie Bobbie which was the name of her nephew but my son did have a slight resemblance to BoBbie. she was still my mom and yet she wasn't she no longer knew me and yet I knew she still loved me. Now I am eighty one and I can bear almost anything but losing who I am and not knowing my friends and loved ones.I try to keep my mind very active and do games and all sorts of things to stretch my mental capacity.

That is so sad and heartbreaking. That is special that her son is living with her and taking care of her.

That is so sad Elusive it really is I could not imagine not knowing People I love the Poor Woman

this is so very sad, unfortunately it happens to way too many of us

Poor Mary, what a sad but all to common thing memory loss is. It sounds as though Mary's son is helping her. Though she can't recall names she sounds like she is still happy and I guess in the end that's all that really matters. Blessed Be

what a beautiful tribute you have written, elusivebutterfly. Have you considered printing it off and gifting it to mary's son? there is a bitter sweetness to aging... it sounds like Mary is taking it all in stride.... the hard part is for those around her to do the same, I suppose.

It does seem that in some Alzheimer's patients, while memories are lost, certain aspects of the personality remain. I was told that what they have trouble with is the easier things to remember, because with the harder things to remember, they've put more effort into remembering them in the first place, so they might stick. I had a patient once who couldn't remember her husband's name, or that she had just had a visit from him the day before, but she did remember that she had written a book. I was surprised, because when I entered her room, she was sitting in her chair looking at a book. I asked her if it was a good book, and she said she wasn't sure, but that it was one of the books that she wrote. I asked her If I could see it, thinking she was confused. I looked, and sure enough, she was the author of that book. It was a history book about Ohio. We talked for a little bit, and she was really interesting to talk to, because she still knew a lot, but could not remember her family, how many children she had, or their names. Her family had a calender there with great big blocks for each day of the week, and they had written their names, and when they had been there. They also had it marked as to when they would be coming back. I talked to her about the calendar for a little bit, and showed her what her family had written. She told me she didn't know who they were. The next week when I came back, I was assigned to another patient, but when she saw me in the hallway, she remembered me, and waved and called my name and said Hi. I was kind of shocked, because I had only talked to her that one time. She had a very loving and supportive family who visited often, and did the best they could to help her retain her memories.

This is such a very heart warming story...I am sad that she doesn't remember but glad that she has her son to take care of her..You are such a kind and loving person, Elusive...At least she does know who her son is...

This has to be the most saddest illness ever, and it is more worse for the people around, like family and friends, rather than the person themself because they are not aware of anything and they are just trapped in their own mind and world. I worked in a nursing home that care for people with alzheimers, dementia and mental health problems. We had 4 units, one was for those that were just showing with signs of alzheimers and dementia, but were no longer able to do everything for themselves, the next unit was for the more advanced cases and the 3rd unit was for those who had it so bad they could no longer move, or walk, feed or anything other than sit in a chair all day long. The fourth unit was for those with mental health problems, I did not work on this unit. But I worked on all the other 3 units during my time there and I would see them come into the home with most of their faculties, and then slowly get worse and worse to the point that they would be transferred to the other units because they needed more care. One patient who came to live on the first unit was a lovely lady and a proper little devil, she was great, the first patient I ever became attached to, I would go into work looking forward to spending my 12 hour shift with her, what a laugh we would have, we would play games and we even watched the football when it was the world cup, slowly over the weeks I saw the changes, she would forget things I had told her just minutes before, she started being more of a danger to herself. Then I would go in some days and she would not recognise me, that was the hardest, and eventually I watched her being transferred to the other unit because she became worse so fast I could no longer care for her on my own in my unit with all the other ladies. We would work so many months on each unit, and so when it came time for me to move to her unit again I took care of her, I asked to be her main carer and looked after her until the end. But it was horrible.

Yes, it is so Sad to see as people get older when they start loosing a lot of the memories, and just cannot remember much. But at least you will always have the fond memories of her, and hopefully you will be able to remember these memories forever. Yes, even as we grow older there are people we forget about, but that does not ever mean we stop loving.

It sounds as if your Mary has Alzheimer's type dementia. It is good that she has the two options. I am glad her son is letting her stay in familiar surroundings, it will be so much easier on her. I hope when he needs to he will get care givers to come in and assist. I hope she continues to love people, and have a smile.

You certainly have a way with words. That last line is very wonderful. I hope you remember it when you need it in the future. Take care

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