Mediation Failed; now it goes to Trial!

Thank you. Next tuesday is going to be stressful but interesting. The children have been heavily influenced by their Mother, which is making the situation much more difficult.

hm, yeah, i can see how much those kind thing really bothering you. but just be optimized, i believe your children would able to see whether is good for them with their own mother or with you as step mother. keep uo your spirit dear

I bet you are counting the days until they are of legal age!!

yes, in a sense I am. Although I am realistic enough to know that my husband will always want contact with them, & I have a feeling they will let him down, & this will make him depressed.

Do you mean getting along with my step children? Sort of, I suppose. Things have been reasonably amicable, until my step son went home & told his Mum more BS about us. Hubby forgave him, but I haven't.

Yes, I hope the Judge sorts out the contact hoyres once & for all. Yes, I know I have to work on my relationship with the kids. If you read my reply to a response above, you will see why this is so difficult for me.

We seriously considered having them separately, especially since my step daughter is negatively influenced by her brother. But would you believe it, she refuses to come here without her brother.

Perhaps the lawyer could suggest separation to the Court, but I doubt whether it would be allowed, as the Family Court here encourage siblings to be together.

That is terrible. Could your lawyer suggest it to the court? I think she needs time for female bonding with each of the woman in her life. I know my daughter and I would go out clothes shopping together and my husband would drop us off. We would go to the make-up shop and she would get her face done. Once we finished at this store we would head for shoes. Males don't really enjoy waiting for a teenager at the beauty shop. My daughter is an adult now and I'm so glad we had the time together for her to appreciate being a female. She enjoys getting dressed up and asks me how she looks in the outfit when she visits me.

That is wonderful that you developed such a great relationship with your step mother. I can't see that happening in my case. I have done a lot for them, & hubby always said they would remember when they were adults, but they have been poisoned by their mother over last years incident with the Police.

Thank you very much for your supportive comments.

You never know, there was a time I hated mine too but as adults we do often develop thoughts of our own and it's very possible these children may someday look back and see what their mother did and it could turn against her in time. Wishing you the best though no matter what comes of this situation.

As far as I can tell, my animosity showed in two statements: "as I am the step mother, whether the kids like it or not, & I am there to cook, clean, baby sit & run around with them, so I am damn well going to have a say in access arrangements." and " I dont really want any more time with the kids, but they are his kids & I will support him to get this" Yes, my hubby knows how I feel about them, & yes, it would be better if he left me if he wants more out of me with his kids, because I am sure not putting up with their crap any longer.. I could write a book about what they have done., but here are a couple of examples: Both kids & their mother went to the Police last year & layed charges that my daughter had assaulted my step daughter. As I was present when the incident occurred that they reported, I knew it to be false. My daughter had to be interviewed by the police, & we hired a criminal lawyer. All charges were eventually dropped. It was a horrific time. They have never apologised to my daughter for the terrible thing they did & the lies they told. It is way too soon for me to have forgotten what they did. Another incident was when hubby was given his son a lecture. Son didn't like it so he went to the bathroom & called the police. The police rocked up & found that he wanted to go to his mUm. No hope of that, as the police could see he was completely safe with us. He just didn't want a lecture from his Dad about the bad things he has done. Hubby is a Police Officer, so he was very embarrassed by this. That is just two examples of stuff these kids have done, although I admit the 14 year old boy is much worse than his sister. I figured out years ago what my step son was like. I cut myself off emotionally from him, as I knew he would let his father down in future years. That is my big worry for my husband, that both kids, who are users, will let their father down when adults, if not before. I didn't want to to be involved emotionally in this.