Too much is dangerous....

United States
April 18, 2008 2:42pm CST
DO you believe or agree on this? that everything is life, when it is done too much is dangerous? or hazardous to one's life, health,career,relationship? Personally for me YES! I had friend whom I treated like my sister. Assist her in her lonely times, help her find a way to enjoy life despite of her sorrow moment,trusted her whole heartedly.In return, I found out that she is talking bad about me to her other friend, criticizing about me,the food i cook and eat etc! I guess too much trust to her and too much goodness resulted to a wasteful friendship!What is your view about this topic? do you have any experience that you can say or attest that TOO MUCH IS DANGEROUS?
7 people like this
27 responses
@BYOLA2871 (4371)
• South Africa
18 Apr 08
well,i have understood a long time ago that whatever is done wether good or bad on the long run is dangerous and will definitely work against us the best policy thus will be to be moderate in whatever we are doing in life,its all about uptimal performance,sorry about the ungrateful person but keep being who you are someone will recognise that someday and reward you.
• United States
18 Apr 08
Thanks BYOLA! On the positive side of my experience, it was like an eye-opener for me to be more careful in dealing with people and always set some limit in extending arms since there are people that will just slowly bite that arm that you use in helping them!
1 person likes this
• United States
4 May 08
Thanks a lot BYOLA, have a great time posting!
1 person likes this
@BYOLA2871 (4371)
• South Africa
18 Apr 08
yes you just have to overlook some things people do to you in life because it will stop you from being yourself
1 person likes this
@agfarm (930)
• United States
18 Apr 08
I firmly believe in pushing it to the LIMIT ! Do it with your whole heart or not at all. ( I know ....I've been told about my EXTREME issues ) If it's not worth pushing to the LIMIT , then it's a waste of Time! ESPECIALLY when it comes to Chocolate. Do you think they make chocolate-covered Snausages?
2 people like this
• United States
19 Apr 08
hahahaha..correct when it comes to chocolates! Nothing is dangerous! Anyway, I agree with your statement, since, if we don't take risk in our lives, we will never also discover things that we need too or things that will bring us great lesson in life! cheers!
1 person likes this
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
19 Apr 08
Welll dear i do agree excess of any thing is bad u should be Moderate Stay in limits either its eating, Relation, or any field of life in your case, i can imagine what would bve your feelings but i would sau that in this particulat case, it seems u attach too much expectation with her, and when expectation broke, they really hurt anyway take care, wish u all the best
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Apr 08
You are correct cupid74! I was expecting too much like I thought she is treating me like a sister the way I treated her, anyway, this experience will always remind me of taking some limits and reserving something for my own sake! Have a great time cupid74!
• United States
21 Apr 08
I do cupid! hahahhaah...thanks and have a great time!
@cupid74 (11388)
• Pakistan
21 Apr 08
Hmmmm wish u all the best and Happy Posting and Happy Life by the way are u derving some limits for me tooo Take care
@gemini_rose (16264)
18 Apr 08
When I am friends with someone, I am a true friend, it means that what they tell me stays with me, if they need me to talk too, I am there, if they need me to leave them alone, I am gone. I advise, console, joke, defend and everything else a friend does. Unfortunately for me, every friend that I have had that I have considered close has taken advantage of the way I am and has always abused my friendship, the last time this happened was over a year ago and it was the worst ever, as a consequence I withdrew not only from that friendship but from other people too, my trust in others completely shattered and so because of this my number of friends in the real world is strictly limited. So yes it can be dangerous for certain people to their life, health and relationship.
2 people like this
• United States
18 Apr 08
I agree! and that's what I did to her! Since, I felt that time, it will be useless to continue the friendship when you are just taken for granted and here you are, very sincere in the friendship! Anyway, I hope she will learn from that since I got a very good lesson from her! and that is, never to give all my trust to my friends, I will always set a limit!
1 person likes this
• Australia
19 Apr 08
Man, I'm really sorry that she is treating you this way. That's just awful and shows a bad character on her part. Don't let her get to you, I have known people like this and trust me, when they do this it's usually because they are actually jealous of you. I agree though, everything is better when it is done in moderation. It's just that sometimes it's hard to find the balance in things....
• United States
20 Apr 08
Correct SassyKittyKat, It's hard to find a balance especially when the person is very close to me! Anyway, I know it's wrong not to talk to her no matter how she tried to contact me, but I hope God will understand me this time, I am not yet ready for this girl!
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Apr 08
I agree SassyKittyKat, wow! that's quite hard when you will just meet that lady every now and then. I can understand the feeling, well, anyway, if I will be in your case, I will just ignore her. Stay pretty girl!
1 person likes this
• Australia
20 Apr 08
I really can't say that I blame you. I can relate actually because my sister in law does the same thing to me. She's my husband's brother's wife and she is similar to the girl you mentioned above. We don't speak as well. Sometimes it's better not to if it gets you aggrivated. Who needs more stress in this life anyway...
@Remando (175)
18 Apr 08
I totally agree checaprocorn that too much of certain things can turn into a negative. But at least in the example you gave, you can be reassured that you were the better person and you helped as much as you could, it was your 'friend' who took it for granted and whose behaviour was very disappointing. Although, an expection, too much chocolate is never a bad thing!!
• United States
18 Apr 08
I love that line, I remember my sister who can eat chocolates 24/7! Correct! I know she hurt other of our friends too by doing same thing and just forgot how those friends help her a lot, that we were willing those time to be absent from work just to be with her in her difficult times! Anyway, I am glad to know her in real, at least i was able to delete her in my list of friends!
2 people like this
@Remando (175)
18 Apr 08
Yes at least you learnt from the situation, and now I bet you're a stronger person for the experience, which is what it is all about I suppose! Hehee chocolate is a healer!
1 person likes this
• United States
21 Apr 08
hello Remando, I am very strong now but I know I still have to fight some of my weaknesses..I am with you, chocolate is a healer! Cheers!
1 person likes this
@koikoikoi (1246)
• United States
19 Apr 08
Well I don't have any experience but just by my knowledge I know that too much of anything is bad. I mean at first I didn't think much of it but if you do think about it you realize that it can have potential damage. Even the good things that one thinks are healthy. Oh and that is really unfortunate about your relationship with your friend. I guess everyone has some bad in them, because this is usually when one says "You think you know someone and then..." Bye.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Apr 08
You got it! I love that line...That is really what I felt. I thought I found a new sister and best friend but turns out to be the person who makes me away from my other friends because I want to be with her and support her in times of her sorrow and the person who can afford to stab me at the back!Pretty sad but at least I learned a lot!
@stephcjh (38473)
• United States
23 Sep 08
I think too much is dangerous also. If it seems too good to be true, then it usually is. I do not have any friends because they all use me up and treat me bad. I treat them very good and they do not respect that at all.
1 person likes this
• United States
23 Sep 08
[i]Hi steph, wow..that is bad, it's really hard to trust anyone this time..I have old and great friends but one of them betrayed me, I know that I forgive her but I prefer not to accept her as a friend again! I am not trusting easily a new acquaintance![/i]
@slickcut (8141)
• United States
19 Apr 08
No what i think is you friend is no real friend..You have picked the wrong person to be a friend to..If i were you i would just stop being so helpful and back off....I would Not let it get me down though because there are people who are true friends ,that do not talk about you,and put you down..I would never talk about my friends..I know all their faults as they know mine and i accept them for who they are,and i do not talk about them....Also whoever told YOU what she said is also a back biter and a gossip, unless of course this is someone that is just trying to help you....but if so and i were your friend ,i would have just told you to back off some because she was really a little gossip and not a good friend....I think you have been a very good friend to this girl and you deserve a better friend....You sound like a nice person...
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 08
Thanks slickcut, I really tried to confront her and apologize if ever there are things that she doesn't like but I ask her to just tell me about it and not to pass it anyone else! the girl who also told me about the gossip was used to be her victim. So, she just warn me not to trust this girl so much! I am happy that I just choose to be far from her and never tried to reply all her messages. I know what I did is also wrong not to forgive her but this is just the best thing I can think off to stop pretending to be her friend!
@gr8life (6251)
• Malaysia
19 Apr 08
Hello checapricorn, I agree with you. I don't have any bad experience to relate here but I had enough listening to my friends' experiences. I do trust people around me but I don't trust them 100%, not even my own immediate family. The only person that I trust so much is myself. I always remind myself to be careful in whatever I do or with whoever I befriend to, as I don't want to get hurt at the end.
1 person likes this
• United States
20 Apr 08
That's a very good attitude gr8life! I was just thinking before that all of my friends will be thinking same way as I am and will treat me like I have treated them! Sadly, it didn't happen and good thing, I knew it earlier! I am also very careful now and try to remind myself always not to be trustful all the time, since that is my weakness!
• United States
18 Apr 08
Well i totally agree, i also think that some things that people just dont like becuase its bad for you are ok in small doses. anything can be addictive, anything can hurt you, its just we need to balance what we do with it.
1 person likes this
• United States
18 Apr 08
hi libertarianfreedom! I agree and sometimes with so much trust and passion for something, we tend to forget to set any limit. But, after each experience, it leaves pain and at the same time great lesson to make us more careful in our decision!
1 person likes this
@Hatley (163781)
• Garden Grove, California
18 Apr 08
While too much food or too much water could make you sick I failto see how being friendly can be dangerous or falling in love can really be dangerous. those are just things that happen to all of us as we cannot read other people's minds. If they return my friendship great, otherwise i will move on to new friends. I think you have to learn to trust someone eventually so why not trust people. for the few who have let me down a great many more have not. I think that ultimately people are good.
• United States
19 Apr 08
Hi Hatley, I agree with what you have said that we truly can't read people's mind and its always unpredictable, how they act or say may not be what they feel deep inside! Still, I can say I am blessed with great friends in my life and just be more cautious in dealing with new friends, I always set limit this time!
1 person likes this
• India
19 Apr 08
oh definitely!doing anything which has been done is excess and over the limits is bad for you and for your life.even when you over accessorise you run the chance of looking a completely drab person even when you have the best of the outfit on!i feel one important place where you need to have control is your personal relationships.don't be at your guard all teh time yet act cautiously!world's not so bright as it promises to be!
1 person likes this
• United States
19 Apr 08
What a great message wittyakanksha, I truly learned from that experience and this helps me to be more cautious in dealing with other people!It has a purpose then since God knows where I will be in the future and being here in this new place with different culture, my past experience will be one of my best weapons to be more careful!
@hellcowboy (7374)
• United States
25 Sep 08
I believe that some things can be dangerous if done to much,for example if you eat to much it can be dangerous because it can make you sick,if you stay in the sun to long it can cause you to get skin cancer which is bad,and I have had a couple friends who I always tried to help,and it turned out to be a bad thing,because it seems like I helped them too much and they ended up using me,and talking badly about me.
1 person likes this
• United States
25 Sep 08
[i]Hi hellcowboy, Ohh..that is very true..Sometimes really we need to draw a line so that people will not abuse us, I experienced that too and from that, I tried to be more cautious and always set limitations![/i]
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
21 Apr 08
I don't think you could ever have too much of a good heart. Don't ever change who you are because of sometime as inconsiderate as that person, don't lower yourself to her standards. Don't bother with her anymore, she does not deserve a good friend like you. But yes to everything else you said.
@winterose (39887)
• Canada
22 Apr 08
you are welcome hon.
• United States
21 Apr 08
wow..This is a very wonderful message! I can tell winterose you have a very soft and kind heart!thanks for the message!
1 person likes this
@dpk262006 (58673)
• Delhi, India
24 Apr 08
I do not think that your too much goodness was the cause which made your friend betrayed you in a sense that she made your criticism to some other friend. It is none of your fault, the fault lies with your friend. You were open minded, warm heared and positive in your approach and attitude towards your dear friends. In my view, you did no wrong. So please do not feel guilty about going for too much goodness. I believe that you are a very caring and helping in nature and your positve attitude should continue. Please ignore those silly things of your friend. Be cheeful and Keep on smiling!
• United States
24 Apr 08
Hello dpk! I love your views, very positive way in dealing situations! I honestly say, I am enlightened a lot! Because the experience I got make me more cautious in extending myself to others and to new friends thinking with limitation I have set, I will be able to make it not possible to be hurt in a way my old friend hurt me! But, reading this message brings another perception within me! Thanks for sharing you optimistic attitude!
@yogeshdhusa (2236)
• India
19 Apr 08
yes i do agree with you, when i was working in my last organization, i worked hard and didnt missused my position, but even working hard and doing more than a level 2 agent, (i was on level 2)doesnt make any diffrence in my pay scale same as level one people gets. i left the org now. after i left one by one everyone from level 2 left and joined a new org. Enjoy :)
• United States
20 Apr 08
Hi yogeshdusa! That's true, we need to learn to say "no" once in a while! Since, I also see that the more good we are, the more people will take advantage on it! If only every one thinks the way we do! well, I can't say I am perfect but I know my limitations and I observe also that I don't step and hurt others!
• India
19 Apr 08
too much -for me because i worked hard too much dedication, and for the company because they gave too much work load on us with low payout.
1 person likes this
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
19 Apr 08
hello, yes, i do believe that too much is dangerous. i feel the problem here is... 1. we dont know how/when to STOP 2. we expect 3. we give and give and the other just take and take (it should always be a two way) i have been in situation like this many times and until now with my own family, and honestly i no longer give a dang about it coz i am done with it. i have given up so much already and i guess it is time for me to respect myself and move on. like you i just did what i feel is right and helpful and loving for a family or friend, BUT they just step on me and there is no body who can end it other than me. they wont coz they are the one who benefits on it (parasite in some terms). we all learn in the past and hopefully next time we give, we only give what is rightful and still reserve something for ourselves. just my two cents. takecare and good night!
• United States
20 Apr 08
hello jairgirl, nice avatar huh!Cheers! Anway, that is true, that past experience of mine which hurts me makes me realize several things! and I yam trying to fight for this weakness which is very trustful and good to every one I will meet and know! I might be still be a helpful friend but I have to learn how to say "NO" for my own good, I guess!
• United States
20 Apr 08
just look cute, you did a great job! hahahha..you completely hide your face! Anyway, I agree with you! well, life teaches us different lesson and this makes us a better and more stronger person as life goes by! It was 1 year ago that I didn't hear from her but even until this time, I don't like to start to connect with her again! I just hope she will find good friend not just a friend who will stick her because of her money!
@jairgirl (2877)
• United States
20 Apr 08
why thank you! hope i hide my face completely on my avatar believe me after (YOU) having more experience like what you mention you will fully understand and maybe then give up such kindness. i feel there are some others out there who really deserve such love/kindness than those who take advantage of me/you. i am the same way like you, i still cried about it coz i cant help but be kind but if i see my husband crying because i am in pain it makes me realize those people i am crying for dont even care about me and my husband so why would i even feel such pain. easier said than done, but i am working my way out of it. im keeping my fingers crossed, anyway, hope you dont have to learn it the hard way (though the possibility of not is very slim) still... takecare and wish you a happy weekends.
@rhane7315 (5649)
• Philippines
22 Apr 08
i also believe in that in that. there are so many people like that, that you thought that she also treats you as a friend or sister because of the things that you do for her. it's so sad that why do that kind of people do exist in this world
• United States
22 Apr 08
I agree rhane,and this is the thing we just can't control, this experience of mine makes me remind always myself to set a limit especially dealing with new friends!
• United States
22 Apr 08
For me, I do good things to other people especially when they need me, because I just like to. I do not expect them to give me something back because this might just disappoint me. I help people because who knows, someday, I might need help too. Not from that same person but from other people as well. And helping somebody makes me feel good. It is true that some would tend to take advantage of you. Especially if you are just too nice to them. I experienced that too. Maybe we just have to learn to say no sometimes. To sum it all off, I think it too much is dangerous. We were wronged in choosing a friend once, so learn from it.
• United States
22 Apr 08
Hi chocolate_monette! I agree, it was the best lesson for us to make us more wiser in the future! Thanks for dropping by!