Can a single mom be a good mom?

@chrysz (1603)
Philippines
July 3, 2008 7:15pm CST
My mom, even though she is not physically near us, made it a point that she will provide our needs. I am glad my brother was able to realize that sometimes, being physically absent is better than being together and nothing to eat since father was not providing us a single red cent. For more than 20 years, mom struggled to provide everything we need and for me, that makes her a good mom. She may not be the father we need but who need a father if there's already one great woman who's looking after us right? What do you think? Can a single mom be a good mom?
3 people like this
17 responses
@secretbear (19463)
• Philippines
19 Aug 08
hi chrysz! yes. a single mom can be a good mom. my mother is a single parent like your mother. my parents got separated when i was only three years old. since then, she had been the only one supporting the four of us. she'd been our mother and at the same time our father. she works in the office and she runs the household. with the exception of my eldest sister, she was able to send us three in school and we all finished our college education. my eldest sister married early and has three kids now. my mother could have married again but she chose not to so she can give her full attention to us and to be able to work better to earn more money. i have always admired her for that. i remember when i was in high school, i made her a Christmas card and i told her i am thankful for having a mother like her and the only thing i can do for her then is to do my best at school. i was still young then but i already know her hardships. there were times that i can't avoid but long for a father (which is normal) but when i think about all what had my mother had been through, she's more than enough for me.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
good day.. absolutely, they are the best of moms to my standard because she establishes her family on her own in the absence of the father. It's not that easy to do even for a man. So yah they can be a damn good mother if not better.
1 person likes this
@celticeagle (123092)
• Boise, Idaho
11 Jul 08
Sure she can. A mom is still a mom. It may take more work if she is alone. If there is family or extended that is always good.
@ibcandy2 (40)
• United States
11 Jul 08
I definetly believe that a single mom can be a good mom but it is hard. Since everything falls on the single moms as far as finances, emotional support, educational support, etc., it is hard to be able to fulfill all the things that children need to have. In order to provide financial support, the single mother has to work which is taking quality time which could be spent with her children. The lack of the single mothers presence can take a toll on a childs emotional health but there isnt any way around that unfortunately. When the single parent gets home from work and needs to help their children with their homework, they may be too tired to think straight and may become frustrated even though it isnt the childs fault. Honestly, having a father around isnt neccessarily a good thing. My dad was at home for financial support and for disciplinary reasons but that was it. If I wanted help with my homework, or wanted to learn how to ride a bike, to watch a movie or go somewhere, for support at school functions, it was my mom and only my mom. Even though my dad was there, he wasnt active in my life then and he still isnt now. I think that is even worse because you feel like he doesnt love you and you are exposed to that hurt everyday. I think it would have been better if he wasnt there. Let's not get it twisted. Some single mothers are selfish and dont care about thier kids and use them as a paycheck and it is a shame that anyone can be a mother because it really is the toughest job on earth.
1 person likes this
@MaeTsuen (257)
• Philippines
11 Jul 08
as many people say...being a great parent doesn't need one be the biologically related. That's the reason why some adopted kids don't even look for their biological parents. What more if that person is the real parent either single or you have a husband. One will surely be great parent regardless of the status in life... it's called motherly instinct. You will just know what is good for your kid and what are harmful. Thus being great parent/s is not learned from any book and there's no book that will teach you how to become great parent/s.
1 person likes this
@carolscash (9500)
• United States
10 Jul 08
I was a single mom for almost 4 years and it is a tough job,but very rewarding to know that you have survived it and that you are responsible for your kids and how they live. We struggled a lot too,but those times teach you many lessons and that is what life is about. I believe that it is a great thing to experience but I also know that you have to be very strong willed to make it. Be proud of your mom and be sure that she knows that you are thankful for what she does for each of you every day.
1 person likes this
@cbreeze (1207)
• United States
10 Jul 08
I am a single mother of six and I think a single mother can be an excellent mother. I think a single father can be an excellent father. In an ideal world there would always be two loving parents, but that's not always the case. I don't buy into the idea that a woman can't raise a man or that a man can't teach a girl to be a woman. I don't think it's easy but it can be done. If your giving your child love and attention and providing for their needs; if your teaching them to be a vital part of society, and a responsible person, your raising them to be the best that they can be. I'm glad that you appreciate your mom.
@LadyAbboz (237)
10 Jul 08
Of course a single mum can be a good mum, it's not weather they have a partner that makes them good, mum's in any circumstances can be good ones as long as they have the write attitude and do what's best for their child(ren)
1 person likes this
@snowbitz (487)
• Philippines
10 Jul 08
Yes they strive to be so that their children will not suffer the same thing.How can they not be?They are the one who provide all your needs they become a father at the same time a mother to you guys. You should be thankful because some single parent tend to do the other ways.
1 person likes this
• Philippines
7 Jul 08
Being a single mom is tough thing.I am a single mom.My daughter is going 7 now and she's in prep now.We moms try to be a good mom to them.All the things we do is for them,as we say mom would do everything just for the sake of their kids.All moms want their child to be in the best they could be.I had a friend,she was not a single mom.She wasn't married either.her son is with her,she just let the father of her child visit her son.They never gone in the same house co'z they quarrell most of the time.And there was the time that i caught her crying saying the she was fed up on their set up.But she doesn't want to leave the guy.Co'z she's afraid that she might not be able to support her son.I told her that being a single mom is tough thing but there's no option to these things.From the time we let them see the world,its as sign that we could be a good mom co'z if we are not we would not let them see the light.
1 person likes this
@thinkbest (210)
• Indonesia
7 Jul 08
I do believe that everyone can be a single good Mom, but of course it really depends on the person herself. Yet, it will be perfect for being a spouse of a husband. Am I right?
• Bahamas
4 Jul 08
I know single moms can do a great job. I'm a single mom, and i try my hardest to make sure my kids are brought up right. It is not easy, but i manage to support all of their needs and some of their wants. I must admit it would have been nice to be married and have that stability. But my kids are doing fine, there are challenges but life is full of challenges, and you adjust to them. Your mom is a strong woman, and by the sounds of it did a great job.{{{hugs}}}
1 person likes this
@baileycows (3668)
• United States
4 Jul 08
Yes, it just take more work than if you have a mother and father. It is hard being a single mom. My husband and I have been divorced for 4 years. But I don't think it makes me a bad mother. I just have to be a mom and dad and sometimes that can be hard.
1 person likes this
@checapricorn (16065)
• United States
4 Jul 08
I admire your mother chrysz, she is very strong and loving! We all know that not all single mother are good to their kids..So, i would say, there are a lot of single mom who were the best mother to their kids and there are also who are not!
@chrysz (1603)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
I agree with you. Some even put the blame on their child but my mother is different. I am looking forward to hearing your views about this before I start my blog. Thanks for your share!
@suspenseful (40314)
• Canada
4 Jul 08
Even though your mother provides everything to you, you do need a father or if that is not available, an uncle, or a male figure. She can be a good mother, but she cannot be a father. Has a male relative stepped in to show you what a good father would be in your life? Has your mother also sued your father for child support? You have missed out a lot and you may follow your mother's footsteps by raising your children alone because you have not have a father in your life. I mean can your mother play football and come home dirty, or think logically like men do?
@chrysz (1603)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
"All it takes to be happy is to be contended with what you have and count the blessings that you are having." We have a granddad and uncles whom we look up to as a father but my mom did the "financial supporting" which is basically one of the attributes of being a good provider. (being a good provider and a good dad are two different things but I won't argue about that). My mom did not sue my father since it will be a waste of time because the judgment system here in the Philippines is really slow but in fairness with my father, his family will give us money if we will ask them to or if we need huge amount like when my brother was hospitalized. I don't think a mom needs to be "manly" just to show his being a "father" to us. She may not play football, watch and appreciate basketball games but who needs it anyway? I prefer seeing my mom alone than being with a man whom he would be fighting with most of the time and there were even chances when we got to see her being beaten physically.
• United States
4 Jul 08
I agree. A single mom can be a damn good mom, but I did see a few mom's out there that could do a little better. From the sound of things, you have a great mother. Appreciate everything she does for you, and be sure to thank her and let her know you love her. (:
@chrysz (1603)
• Philippines
4 Jul 08
She knows how much we appreciate all her sacrifices. All it takes to be happy is to be contended with what you have and count the blessings that you are having.
@nutanjain (898)
• India
10 Jul 08
yes your mom is like god to you because single is not an easy thing and one has to do everroutine and day to day tasks that is taking care of house hold expenses and taking care of home childdren and socialising with other people and take active part in social gatherings and she ramiins in a very presurised state all through tis process and she does not have even a partner to whom she could convey her feelings so in this stae she also has to moralize and motiate you towards a better future so it is better to not to say something bad to her in this state so what do you think please let me know i have similar disCUSSION BASED ON MOM PLEASE RESPOND THANXX!!